History Repeaing Itself

It feels like I should be used to it by now. The phone rings and it's a relative looking for my mom delivering some bad news. It was exactly one year ago I was preparing to spend almost a week in California for my grandmother's funeral. I remember crying in my boss' office asking if I could go home early for the rest of the day. About a year and a month ago, we got that dreadful phone call that my grandmother had an accident and our phone was constantly ringing with news from relatives. It was about a year ago where I told Andrew I wouldn't be here for Valentine's Day because I'll be in California burying my grandmother. Today, I feel like I'm experiencing deja vu. Our phone constantly ringing. This time it's my grandma's brother. I was told during work by my aunt who was looking for my mom that he had collapsed and is now in critical condition. I instantly thought of the worst when I heard 'critical condition'. I am trying to be hopeful because I am not ready for another funeral. I'm not ready to go back to California dressed in black. I don't want to sound selfish but I don't want to have to tell Eric that I will not be here to celebrate our first Valentine's together. I feel like February is not my family's best month. It seems like Valentine's day isn't a holiday I should be celebrating. I want to be hopeful but 'critical condition' is just so...critical. And I overheard my aunt talking to my mom that he has a breathing tube to breathe for him and the doctors took 30 minutes trying to revive him. It doesn't look too good for my family. My family all felt that 2007 was the worst year of our lives. We lost the matriarch of the family, five years after we lost the patriarch. A lot of my family members are in the real estate business so a lot of them lost their jobs because of the housing market is in a slump. It seems like 2008 is mirroring 2007. This year is supposed to be a great year. It started off great. And I hope it'll stay like that, even just a little while.