Internet Redneck Style

This has got to be the craziest thing ever. Type in a web address and the website translate the whole site in whatever slang you choose. My favorite is the redneck.

Making the internet Redneck friendly

A Date?

So…I think I have a date tomorrow. I met this guy through a friend about a year and a half ago and ever since then, he’s been trying to get my friend to hook us up. After being unsuccessful for about 3 months, he gave up. I was just not attracted to him and I have way too many walls up to give him a chance. We talked every now and then about random stuff through myspace but that’s about it…until last week. He messaged me asking if I wanted to hang out with his friends because it was someone’s birthday. I made an excuse saying I was too tired from my vacation to do anything. Well it wasn’t really an excuse. I was genuinely tired. I barely slept while I was in California. Then he said, one day we are going to have dinner because you’ll run out of excuses. So I felt bad so I said I’ll have dinner with him on Friday if I don’t do overtime at work. I’ve been told that in order to find the right guy, you should give everyone a chance (everyone as in both guys and girls? Not sure if this person knows I only swing one way...towards men). So I figured, why not give him a chance and get free dinner while I’m at it. Awesome deal!

I'm Moving!

I'm moving....not homes, but cubicles. Actually, my cubicle is practically my home. I’ve been working more hours ever since I got back from vacation. Smart move boss! You gave me a vacation to replenish myself from being overworked just to overwork me when I get back from vacation. Nice. I wish I wasn’t salaried so overtime would mean extra money. Anyway, back to moving. My boss told our department that we’re hiring both people we interviewed. Yes, the boring girl and the hot guy. O la la. Now I can actually look forward to going to work. The new girl will take my cube and I’ll be moved to a different cubical with the hot guy near me. Work life can’t get any better then this. Well, maybe less overtime and a raise, but we all can’t get everything we want right?

That's What Family Is For

Me: I hear you're coming down for my birthday!
Karizsa: Yea!
Me: What time will be you in Vegas?
Karizsa: I'll be there late, like 2am late.
Me: I'll be gone by then. Not gone as in leaving the club, I mean I'll be drunk by then.
Karizsa: It's ok, I'll hold back your hair for you while you throw up.
Me: You will?
Karizsa: Duh! That's what family is for.

I love my family. I'm glad my cousins will be in town for my birthday. I'll feel complete.

That's Going To Bruise.

It was dinner time and I felt lazy to wash dishes because I was extremely hot from running around the park. I suggested to my mom that we use paper plates instead of dishes so I don't have to wash the dishes. As I searched the pantry for the paper plates, I overlooked how close I was to the gigantic thermos we use when we go on picnics. It probably holds a gallon of water and it’s pretty big. Next thing I know, I feel excruciating pain shoot up my foot and telling my brain that the thermos just fell on my foot, thus signaling my mouth to yell out loud. As I limp into the kitchen with paper plates in my hand, my mom asked what happened. I told my mom that the thermos fell on my foot and you know what she asked me?

“Did you break it?”

I was expecting some sympathy since it hurt so bad that I was limping. But I didn't even get an, ‘are you ok?’ Nope! She was more concerned about the thermos. Thanks for showing me you cared mother. Pfff! I'm going to have one bruise tomorrow! Now is not a good time to be bruising since my birthday is coming up. Showing off my new tan with bruises is gonna look hot right?!

God Must Be Angry

Remember when you were a kid and a thunderstorm came, your mom would tell you it's because God was angry? Boy was God furious last night! I woke up at 2 in the morning to a deafening sound of God yelling. For a good 30 minutes, I couldn't sleep because of the thunderstorm that paid me a visit. What did I do God?! I was talking to a few coworkers and they said they woke up around that time as well because of the thunderstorm. Well at least he wasn't angry at just me.

Endless Pain

Have you ever had one of those days where you just feel like crap…all day? Man, I woke up with the worst stomach ache ever and it’s still lingering at the end of the day. I don’t know how to cure my ailing stomach. I don’t even know what medicine to take because I don’t know how to describe what I’m feeling. Growing up, I’ve been told that ginger ale or 7up will always cure a stomach ache. I tried that and it didn’t work. Just my luck huh? I start work tomorrow and the night before I have a stomach ache that won’t go away. I hope it’s just a 24 hour bug and will go away soon.

Tan Lines

In less then 2 weeks I'll be turning 23 so yesterday I started my search for the perfect birthday outfit. This outfit has to be complimenting to my curves, be low cut enough to show off my lack of assets on top and be tight enough to compliment my bottom assets. I found a long top that is long enough that I can use it as a dress. It complimented my top assets perfectly until I saw my hard work during my vacation kicking me in the ass. I spent the week in California tanning so I wouldn’t look so pale for my birthday, so when I put on the dress I saw how much darker I got. Well when I put on the dress, my chest was perfectly tanned, but my boobs were white! Talk about random tan lines! I have this lotion that’s a subtle self-tanner that I used last night. It says in a week I’ll have a nice glow. We’ll see.

Curb Talk

Vivian: Is the curb white?
Me: No
Vivian: Oh it's red?
Me: No
Vivian: Oh then it's yellow?
Me: No
Vivian: Uh, then what color is the curb?
Me: :::thinks::: Uh....ceemeent color?
Vivian: What?! (uncontrollable laughter) That means the curb is white!

I'm Monique in California

Growing up, I answered to two names, Monica and Monique. Monica is my given name and Monique is a family nickname that only family members and close family friends can call me. My friend Joyce and I have been friends since birth so she is pretty much family and she calls me Monique. Whenever I visit her in California, Joyce would take me out with her friends and she would always introduce me as 'Monique' which confuses everyone when I introduce myself as 'Monica'. Joyce tried using 'Monica' with me but it just sounded weird for the both of us so we decided that in California, I will use 'Monique' with everyone. Having two names in California reminded me of that one Las Vegas commercial when these two women come down to visit Vegas and one of the girls kept using different names to introduce them. It's fun using a different name and it's easier for me to recognize since I already use the name. I'll update on my summer vacation in California tomorrow. High School Musical 2 starts soon. I didn't get to see it over the weekend since I was out and about with Joyce. And yes, I said High School Musical 2. Got a problem with that?? I'm a kid at heart!

Beach Bum

Today is my last day of work until my vacation starts. I started working at my current job after I graduated college a little over a year ago. I am 22 and yes, this is my first job. Ever since I started this job, I haven’t had a vacation and it’s long over due. Sometimes I feel like my life is on autopilot and I just do the same thing everyday. Get up, go to work, wait for the time to pass, and then go home. It’s an endless cycle I’m excited to break tomorrow. Once in California, I was promised multiple trips to the beach so I can try and not look so pale. So for a month, I’ve been going to the gym to try and get into shape so I can look somewhat decent in a bikini. It’ll be nice to be lying on the beach, trying to get tanned, and not get caught gawking at the hot bodies. I wonder if they’ll notice if I take a picture of them. I love vacations. Even if it’s just for a week, it’s nice to get out of Vegas sometimes. But it makes me loathe Las Vegas more and more.

A Cute New Hire?

We’ve been looking for someone to hire at work for quite some time now. My department is extremely understaffed. There are currently three people in my department and that’s not including my boss. I don’t count him because he doesn’t do any releases that my coworkers and I do. Our first interview was with this new graduate and it looked promising...until she failed her drug test. Come on! If you’re interviewing for a job, there’s bound to be a drug test. Geez! So the next candidate was this cute guy who was from Colorado and had 2 years of experience. I gave him a mediocre score only because I felt like he wouldn’t want to do releases for a long time. I didn’t want to be known as pulling a Rachel Greene and hire him because he was cute. (For those of you who don’t know who Rachel Greene is, you should be ashamed of yourselves!) I was hoping my boss would look pass that and offer him a job. At first he did until we got another resume that surpassed his resume. We interviewed this girl and she seemed very interested, but a bit boring. Anyways, the cute candidate called my boss and asked how the interview went and my boss was straightforward with him. He was asking too much and we felt that he wouldn’t enjoy releasing games as much. He said he’s willing to do anything, even a pay cut! And then the boring candidate called right after saying she’s really interested. My boss is considering hiring both people. Deep down, I’m praying the cute guy gets the job. Even though he might not be happy staying there for so long, who cares! I’ll finally work with someone cute! I’m tired of working with middle aged married men or foreign men where I need a translator to communicate with them.

My List

So I was talking to my good friend Tiff about what I want to do with my life and that I always say I want to do things, but I'm never brave enough to take the initiative to do them. She suggested making a list of things I want to do near and far. So here it is! My list!

1. Visiting Europe has always been my dream. But I don’t just want to visit Europe. I want to live in the UK or in France for a year. Italy or Spain is dangerous for me because Spanish and Italian men are so suave that I might never come back to America.

2. Visit Japan, Australia, and the Philippines.

3. Take a cooking class or go to culinary school and be a certified baker.

4. Learn a different language or fine tune the languages I already know.

5. Skydive! I think it’ll be exhilarating to see the earth from above.

6. Go to NYC during the Christmas season and go ice skating at Rockefeller Center or go to NYC during the fall and actually see autumn.

7. Find a job that I actually love and have awesome benefits.

8. Go to a concert. I know it’s shocking that I’ve never been to a concert. It’s either too expensive or I just don’t have the time.

9. Leave Vegas and start a new life. Ok, this might take awhile. I’ve never been away from home for more then a few days. I’ve relied on the comforts of home and I think my parents made sure I didn’t gain independence from home. If they had it their way, I would live with them till I was old and gray.

10. Have a guy take me to see The Nutcracker. I’ve always wanted to see The Nutcracker and I think it would be amazing to see it in NYC.

11. Go scuba diving and take pictures of the beautiful creatures of the sea. Hopefully there are no sharks though!

12. And of course, settle down and start a family, preferably not in Las Vegas. I don’t think Las Vegas is a good city to raise children and our school system isn’t all that great either.

That’s a mighty long list, but I think I can definitely do it!

A Heart to Heart Talk Got Us Lost

Last night was my friend Vivian’s birthday and she invited a few close friends to come out and celebrate her birthday. On the way home, she decided to drop off her two friends from Reno to their hotel first. When her friends left, she told me how she felt bad she didn’t invite some friends to come out. But at the same time, she thinks that since she moved to Reno and was gone for 4 years, her friendships with these people aren’t the same anymore. We were talking about how the friendships in our lives, and as we transition to adulthood, we will grow apart with each other and it’s just the way of life. Then we realized she was driving towards her home and we had to turn around because I didn’t make any plans to spend the night at her house.

So we drove towards the Las Vegas Strip and we were now talking about relationships and how she still holds a place in her heart for her first love. And even if she’s been with her current boyfriend for a year now and loves him, she still feels hurt how she and her first love couldn’t make it work. They couldn’t even be friends. She never met Andrew and so I told her about my dysfunctional relationship with him. We didn’t understand how the two of us were getting emotional over relationships that we thought were behind us. As the two of us were sitting there with tears rolling down our cheeks, we start laughing not because we were emotional wrecks over stupid boys but because we were lost again. We weren’t paying attention where we were going and the whole time she was driving, I just kept pointing to a street signaling Vivian to turn. We joked around how I’m not meant to go home. A Lesson learned. Never have heart to heart talk while driving. You will get lost!

Ruuuun!

Driving around town, I sometimes forget how lucky I am to have a car in Las Vegas especially in the summer. I realize how grateful I should be with my life when I see a little overweight person running for dear life trying to catch the bus. I wonder if the bus driver sees the person and leaves them behind on purpose. I feel sorry for them because they probably pulled a muscle trying to catch that damn bus only to be left behind. But I don’t feel sorry enough to pick them up to take them to their destination. Come on, they might eat me! Just kidding! But seriously, I would never pick up a stranger on the streets. Well, unless they’re good looking. They can have their way anytime.

Back to the Stone Age

So our email server at work has been down since Tuesday and everyone is at a lost on how to continue with their daily routine without email. It seems people easily forget how people in the corporate world used to work before the internet was invented.

On Tuesday, everyone decided that since the email server was down, they wouldn’t work. So it was a pretty relaxed day. One that was much needed since everyone was being overworked for about 6 months to get a multi-game out the door.

Well, come Wednesday, everyone was freaking out because everyone realized they couldn't just skip another day of work. We’ll loose money! We’ve already lost a few contracts because of this email disaster. So everyone was trying to figure out what needs to be done by visiting people they usually interact through email. Let me tell you, this was interesting. I went over to the game developers department to look for a couple of people I normally email when a game comes to me. The second I entered a room, a man welcomed me with a warm smile and calls out my name. I pretend I know him by smiling back and asking him how he was doing. Let me tell you, if you really don’t know this person, don’t pretend. This has backfired on me so many times and yet I never learn. Anyways, he asks me what I was doing there and I tell him that I’m delivering an ‘email’ notification that I’ve released their game to the testers since the emails are down and that I’m looking for David. Low and behold, I was talking to David! How embarrassing!

We all had to adjust by using alternatives to keep the business running. Everyone had to learn a game has come in by word of mouth. A game developer came over with a post-it that had all the information I needed to release the game. My other coworker created a document so I can fill out to send to hand deliver to testers in another building once a game is ready to be tested.

Let me just say, I think I lost 5 pounds in the 2 days I’ve been walking around. Today was my rest day from the gym because let’s face it. I worked out all day today by walking to everyone delivering our version of release emails.

I'm Back!

Lots of time has passed since I've updated my blog and a lot of things happened in my life. I went through all the spectrums of emotions God has given us to experience from my grandmother passing away earlier this year to finally paying off my car to reuniting with old friends. It's somewhat hard to talk about my grandmother passing away especially since the last time I made a post is about visiting her in the hospital. I never did make it to the hospital after work by myself, but I was at the hospital the night before she passed away. It seems like I'll never be ready for loosing loved ones, but it was a lot easier then loosing my grandpa only because he was my first experience with loosing someone.

I finally got the courage to end the non-relationship I had with Andrew. We were dating from the beginning of November to the end of April and never became an official couple. I never know why I stayed with him that long especially seeing we will never work. Not to sound shallow or anything, but I need a guy who will be able to take care of me financially. Well not necessarily me, since I make enough money to take care of myself. I need a guy who can pay for his bills every month and Andrew was not able to me with provide that. He was always complaining why he never had money. Well my advice to him is to stop drinking everyday. Don't go out everyday and waste your money on frivolous thinigs. Other then him being financially unstable, he had other issues I couldn't get past but I don’t want to put him on blast. So we can leave it at that we were not meant to be and it just took me 5 months to realize it. That time I spent with him were a big waste of 5 months of my life. Just kidding! I never regret.