You Think You're Better Than Me?

I was telling my friend that I did some damage to my bank account over the weekend on both me and my friends. Her response? "I'm glad my friends and I are not materialistic like that where we have to give each other gifts." What?! Um, I'm sorry that your friends don't care enough for you to show how much they love and appreciate you. I told her that I'm a giving person, and she says that she gives to charity where it'll be much more appreciated. Someone isn't humble at all is she? I just think, why question someone for giving a gift. Does it matter if it's going to someone who they know or not? Does that make the person beneath you since you give to strangers? From what I remembered, she was gloating to everyone that she bought her brother a plane ticket from Hawaii to Vegas this past Christmas. Granted that's her brother, but it just seems hypocritical that she bought a huge present for someone where it could've gone to charity. She just wanted to look like a saint in front of everyone. Little do they know, she's just a bitch that disapprove of other people giving gifts. Someone needs to check themselves and realize you're not a saint after all.

Stage 4

"Stage 4." That's probably a phrase you don't ever want to hear, unless you're at Universal Stuidos looking for stage 4. But unfortunately, I was not at Universal Studios. I was eating dinner, feeling depressed for canceling my San Fransisco trip because I was sick when my mom told me that my aunt has lung cancer. I was in complete shock. It made my problem seem so minuscule all of a sudden. It didn't make any sense to me because she worked out, ate healthy, and didn't smoke. But I guess cancer didn't care about that, that sneaky little bastard.

We all had lunch at my aunt's house today and that's when I found out....it's stage 4 and it has spread to her liver. My heart is breaking right now after I saw her. She's already been affected by the cancer. She's not as bubbly and upbeat as she used to be. But we're all staying strong and hopeful. Even though it's stage 4, we will do whatever it takes to fight this. Please pray for my aunt and my family.

Not Off To a Good Start

Wow a year has past. 2010 certainly was an interesting year. Lost a best friend, gained a new best friend, lost a grandparent, new babies (not mine), and I fell in love. With Hawaii and San Francisco that is. All these ups and downs made me want to change myself for the better. I wanted this year to be better than the last but that seemed to have failed. I started the new year with drama which caused never ending drama between me and my coworker and her friend. And also some tension started to build up between my best friend and I since she decided to disappear on me and cancel our trip to San Francisco without any explanation. I started the new year sick, and with my luck caught a nasty flu a couple weeks later. I felt like I was on my deathbed and I'm still fighting this virus after 3 weeks. I've been so medicated that all I do is sleep. And now it's hard for me to come back to society since I have no energy to do anything.

All this alone time got me thinking more, got me wishing more, and well...got me making drastic decisions without thinking it through. I've decided that I was tired of facebook and deactivated it for awhile. I got tired of seeing my coworker's pictures of her and her friends having fun without me. Just because her friend didn't approve of her ex hooking up with me, they just threw me aside and disowned me. I know, I could just block her or delete her, but I was also spending way too much time on that site for nothing. I needed to focus on my career so I decided to just quit it.

And then there's the drinking...which used to be my favorite vice until recently. I was looking back at my December with my coworker and all the drinking we did made me feel so embarrassed of my actions while intoxicated. I've been contemplating on decreasing my alcohol intake and giving it up for lent. Well, last night while hanging out with my friend, she confessed she's giving up alcohol for the year. I jumped on that and said, "I'll do it too!" What have I done?? I said I wanted to limit my drinking, not give it up completely! But hey, I can do this. Right? I just need to avoid situations that call for a cocktail. Great, I need to avoid my family for a year. All I have to do is keep thinking, "I can do this." It'll be okay. I don't need a drink to have fun. Although, last night we went to a bar after our Starbucks session, the first thing I thought of was, "ooo bar! Let's get a drink!" But I came to my senses quick and survived my first bar night...sober. This year will be an interesting year. Hopefully full of changes for the better. Here's to a new year! 2 months late, but hey. I was sick and was still stuck in 2010.