Pressure Cruise

The more you pressure me into going, the more I'll say no. My family decided to go on a cruise to Mexico for the summer and it's such a good price too. I'd go in a heart beat if Jill would come with me but her work wouldn't let her take the time off so I'm not going. Now everyone keeps asking me to just go even though she couldn't come. The truth is, I'd never go with them by myself. I have a love/hate relationship with some of my family members. Don't get me wrong, I love them to death, but some of them I just can't stand. Ever since I can remember, some of my cousins think they can walk all over the younger cousins and belittle them just because they are older. And having to be with them for a whole weekend on a ship does not sound like a fun vacation. I'd rather save up my vacation time so I can go somewhere else with people I enjoy.

Abstinence

I was at the Nellis Air Force base with my family doing some grocery shopping. We entered through the food court and I all of a sudden got hungry. My aunt told me to buy something but I told her I can't eat fast food till Easter. And she said, "oh yea you're practicing abstinence." When she said that I thought she meant I'm practicing sexual abstinence. So I said, "oh no I'm not doing that, I gave up fast food."

Am I Selfish?

So I get the worst news a girl gets from her boyfriend today at 5pm. How can someone go from being extremely happy and excited to extremely sad within hours? Eric texted me saying he might be going to LA for a job and will be leaving on Sunday. Talk about bad timing since tomorrow is our one month anniversary and his birthday is next Thursday. He's been talking to people all day since the news so I have no idea what's going on. He says he's waiting for his boss at ufc to give him word that it's ok to go to LA and work. I know he'll be going to LA because he thinks it's a done deal but deep down I want her to tell him no. Am I being selfish that I want my boyfriend to be poor till his next job in May and stay here with me? I'm already crying and moping around preparing myself for two months of loneliness. But the good news is that our friend who introduced us will be in LA with him so at least he can watch over Eric. It's not that I don't trust him. I trust him completely, but just in case you know? Long distance is tough and I do hope everything works out for the best. I'll miss him so much. I hope 2 months passes by as quickly as the two months I've known him has. For now, you can find me in my room crying or maybe at a bar drinking. Either way I'll be counting down the days I see my boyfriend again.

My Wild Turkey Experience

So it was my friend Shawn's birthday on Saturday and I'd like to know what happened. I thought I was done getting drunk but since my lovely boyfriend was my designated driver and he gave me permission to get drunk, I took full advantage as I also did with him when we got to his place. Shawn's favorite drink is wild turkey even though it's the nastiest drink ever made. Well I guess it's not the nastiest, but it's pretty nasty without a chaser and I'm hardcore like that. I bought him a round to prove to him I can take it. Ever since we've met, he's been trying to get me to drink wild turkey and I kept refusing. Finally I gave in and took a shot with him without a chaser. Then I took 3 more shots of other alcohols and I was finished. I asked Eric to take me to his place so I can crash because I'm wasted. Next thing I know is I'm passed out on his bed and I'm trying to take advantage of my exhausted boyfriend. He was waiting hand and foot on me trying to get me water and making sure I won't oversleep while I'm trying to get him sleep with me. Apparently I'm really horny when I'm drunk and now he keeps teasing me about it. It was a pretty wild night and I'd like to remember more of it.

The V Word

Why does every guy run for their life when they hear a girl is a virgin? It's funny how we criticize grown women who are still virgins and are waiting for the one. Then we lie to ourselves on our wedding day and wear white when we all know that the bride is not a virgin. I had this huge crush on this guy last year and when he finally got the courage to kiss me, it was my birthday. He ended up taking me home because we all know the birthday celebrant has to get plastered on their birthday. Well one thing led to another and we ended up hooking up in his car and when it was time to do the deed, I sobered up and realized I was about to have sex with a guy I barely even know. I told him I didn't want to have sex because I'm a virgin and that was the last I heard of him. Now every time I see him at a party, he looks like he wants to say something to me but all I do is ignore him. He doesn't deserve my attention after the way he treated me.

Seems like history is repeating itself once again for me. Things are starting to heat up between me and Eric. We've been fooling around the past two weeks and I think I'm finally ready to have sex but I don't know how to drop the V bomb on him. From my past experiences, guys get freaked out and run for the door when they hear the word 'virgin'. I finally had the courage to tell Eric that I am indeed a virgin through text because the topic of number of partners came up while I was at work. I had to tell him zero. And I asked if he's turned off by it. His response? "Honestly, a little." Beat me down at my most vulnerable state. Then he says, "Well at least I know now not to put down nice sheets." Wow, what an insensitive thing to say. Even though I really wanted to have sex with him over the weekend, I told him let's wait a month before we have sex. He agreed and I told him that I want him to be more comfortable with the fact that I haven't had sex with anyone. After our conversation he went and took a nap and I called him after work. It's not the same anymore. At first I wish I didn't tell him that I was a virgin but at least now I know how he is. If he dumps me because it's too much to handle then he's not the person I thought he was. I told him in all fairness, I've fooled around with 3 guys. Well 4 including him. But at least I know I'm clean. When he had his whole herpes scare a few weeks ago, I stuck by him but he can't even stick by me for being a virgin and clean? How cruel is that. If he does dump me. Let's hope that he's different from the guys I've dated and accept the fact that I am a virgin. I am still the same person you liked yesterday.

Why Didn't He Call?

I was reading an article on MSN on reasons why even though you had a great date a few nights before, your date still hasn't called. It talked about that just because the guy hasn't called yet doesn't mean he's not that into you. He might have gotten tied up with something so don't worry too much about it. It's easier said then done. Women will always wonder why hasn't he called yet and if we're not good enough. It's in our nature.

When I first met Eric, he used to call me every other day until our second date. He didn't call me for almost 5 days and I got worried that he wasn't into me anymore. I panicked and started asking my guy friends advice based on our second date. That night, he texted me saying he was sorry for not calling lately because he's been working crazy hours and have been tired lately. So I was just overreacting but girls need closure. If a guy is not into me, I'd rather him tell me then leave me hanging. I hate all those 'what ifs' and if I'm told you're not into me, I can just move on faster.

The Unfamiliar

On Saturday my friend Rei celebrated his birthday at Lucille's and the default club for locals, the Lobby Club formally known as Whiskey. Everyone kept asking me if my boyfriend was coming and unfortunately I had to say no because he was working on Saturday. My friends were saying that it was weird asking about my boyfriend because they're not used to me having a boyfriend. I am the same way. I'm not used to saying I have a boyfriend. But Eric and I definitely became more comfortable as a couple and we instantly started acting like a couple.

On Friday, his friend was in town so he hung out with her while I was out with my girlfriends. He called me before meeting with his friend telling me where they were going. I texted him around midnight saying I was already home and he called me at 4 in the morning on his way home from his night. When I found out Rei wanted to go to the club after dinner, I asked Eric if he had a problem I was going to a club. His response? "No. Have fun. Just don't drink too much and no dudes ok?" My response? "I'm cutting back on my drinking already and I only dance with my girlfriends." He responded, "Well then, have fun!" I also texted him when I got home from the club. Funny how fast we were able to transition into being a couple.

Bar Food, Vibrators, and Thongs

Last night was the most random night I've had in a long time. I haven't had a girl's night in awhile so a few of my girl friends met up at a bar to have some happy hour cocktails and food. Everyone was gushing over the fact that I have a boyfriend now. You know how it is when you're in a new relationship. All my friends are really excited that I finally met someone after a couple of years of playing the field. Yea, Vegas men suck. It's hard to find a decent man in this city. Anyways, after everyone asking me questions about my relationship with Eric, my friend Mallory dropped some bad news on us. She broke up with her boyfriend of three years last week. She said he needs to grow up and get his life on track before they can be together. It's understandable. He doesn't have a car, he doesn't have that great of a credit, and he's always relying on her. So after dinner she and i were talking and she said she needs to find a rebound guy to have sex with since she's so used to getting laid everyday. But then she said she didn't want any emotional attachment to a guy so she said she wants to shop around to get a vibrator or a dildo. I've never been to a sex shop before so I was quite amazed as to all the varieties of dildos and vibrators they had. We were there for a good 30 minutes until she just bought one that looked nice and wasn't gigantic. After our little escapades at the sex shop we went to the Forums to do some shopping at Victoria's Secret and left with a bag full of panties. At the end of the night I told Mallory that her idea of me has changed now. Every time I see Mallory she says I have a drink but after last night, every time she sees me, she'll think of the night we bought a vibrator and some sexy panties. Talk about a sexy night but neither one of us got lucky. Well maybe one of us and it wasn't me.