Status Change

So as of December 26th, I'm not single anymore. Jason asked me to be his girlfriend and even though I feel like we're moving extremely fast, I told him yes. Mainly because I didn't want to say no. I know that doesn't make any sense, but it does to me. We've only been dating for 2 and a half weeks and he told me that when we're together, he feels like we fit. It was so sweet. I told him that I'll be his girlfriend but we need to slow down. I'm not used to having a boyfriend and he's one of those really attentive boyfriends. He always wants to see me and he calls/texts me all the time. I told him he needs to be less attentive because I'm not used to that. I'll get scared and be turned off. A lot of my friends didn't even know about him since we've only been dating a couple of weeks. So when I told Aprille and Jill, they both had the shocked reaction I was expecting. But they're both happy for me. He did passed the test. He was willing to drive to my house and pick me up. All the guys I've dated hated driving and would refuse to pick me up. He was willing to drive 2 hours in the snow to pick me up. And the other test was some my friends approve of him. Both Lisa and Aprille are still a little iffy. They noticed last night that he was really touchy feely with me. He kept putting his arm around me and he kept kissing my cheek. They both said that PDA was not me and I agree. So if all goes well and he does listen to a few of my demands, then we'll be okay. Damn I'm such a demanding girlfriend. It's no wonder I'm always single.

And last night was so awkward for both Aprille and me because Joe and Paul were with us while we're with our boyfriends. Joe is into me while Paul is into Aprille. So while we're all hanging out with them, Joe was texting me and Paul was texting Aprille. It's funny that even though we're with our boyfriends, these guys will still flirt with us.

Wet Christmas

I wanted a white Christmas and instead I got a wet Christmas. I love the rain but I wish it didn't come with wind. I hate the wind. So last night we celebrated Christmas at my aunt's house. This year, the older cousins decided to do secret santa so the aunts and uncles didn't have to buy presents for everyone. It took forever to distribute the presents. We didn't finish til 2am and by the time we got home, I was exhausted. It's weird coming home that late and it wasn't from partying at the clubs. It was fun watching the younger kids entertain us with their singing and dancing. It used to be a tradition where the cousins and I would do the same thing. We'd do a Christmas performance in front of the aunts and uncles then we'd open presents. It's nice to see the tradition being passed down to the younger generations. The highlight of the performance was my little cousin Zachary singing Chris Brown's 'With You'. He was really into it and I think he'll be the next PJ. I got mainly money from my Godparents but I also got a few good presents from my friends. This year has been a crazy year and I guess I'm ready for 2009. Mainly turning 25 in 09. That part I'm still bracing myself for.

Let It Snow

On Wednesday, Las Vegas had a snow storm. And it's not one of those where we just get snow in some parts of Vegas, it was one where everyone got snow. And it snowed a lot. My friend Angela's flight got canceled because they closed the airport. No one was leaving or coming in. I told her Vegas was preparing her for Michigan weather. I was so excited about the snow that I kept going outside during work to play in it. Eventually my boss sent us home early because he wanted us to get home safe. It took me almost 2 hours to get home where it usually takes me 45 minutes. It was bumper to bumper traffic so I had to go 10 mph the whole way home. Playing in the snow was amazing. I've never seen so much snow in Vegas. The weather people said the last time it snowed like that in Vegas was 30 years ago. And who would have thought that the kids would have a snow day and didn't have to go to school in Vegas.
This was also the day when Jason and I had our first date. He drove 2 hours to my house in the snow and rain to pick me up. I told him we should cancel it since it's snowing and it's dangerous to be driving in such conditions but he refused and came anyways. He was even willing to take me back to his place so we can watch a movie with our friends but I convinced him to just watch a movie in the theaters on my side of town since it'll take forever to get to his side of town. So yea, I'm seeing someone right now and we'll see where this goes.

You Probably Didn't Know

A lot of my friends have been doing a list of things we probably didn't know about them on Facebook. It's fun learning more about my friends. I decided to write some of my own.

1. My first name is actually Monica Anne without the hyphen but on my drivers license and credit cards, its hyphenated. I'm not sure why Americans think two names should always be hyphenated or dropped. And I always say my name in a Filipino accent when I am talking to family or family friends.

2. When I was in junior high school, I shot a commercial for inner city games, which is similar to summer camp but the kids meet for a few hours every Saturday during the summer. I don't even know if it even aired on tv.

3. I can't drink cold water in the winter because it'll give me a sore throat.

4. My friend Laura and I have the exact same birth date. We were both born near LA and both around 8am. We have yet to celebrate our birthdays together.

5. I've self diagnosed myself to having ADD. I have an attention span of a 5 year old and I sometimes can't keep still for too long. Some coworkers have pointed out that I'll just stare off into space during meetings.

6. I used to have a mole on my chin but on one of my many visits to the doctors for being sick, the doctor saw it and thought the color is a little off and suggested i should get it removed. It wasn't cancerous, and I don't miss it.

7. I always grow my nails out to where its so long that I have a hard time taking off my contacts and then I'll cut them. I like having long nails cuz it makes my hands look bigger.

8. It takes me forever to tell a story because I'll tell you every detail even if it has nothing to do with the story. Or sometimes it'll take me forever to tell a story that I'll forget where I was going at and I get irritated when people tell me to hurry up. Just listen or tune me out Rei! hahahah.

9. I used to be able to run a mile in 6~7 min when I was in junior high. I think my best time was 5 min and something seconds. Now I can barely run half a mile in 6 min. It sucks being out of shape!

10. I used to hate getting my picture taken cuz I hated my smile but now I'm a camerawhore and always have to get my picture taken. But I still hate my smile.

11. I have a low tolerance for pain. One time, I had to get two permanent teeth pulled out because of overcrowding. While the dentist was giving me my first shot in my gums my mom had to hold me down because I smacked her arm to stop giving me a shot. It also took her about 5 shots for me to finally not feel anything. My mouth was numb for the rest of the day.

12. When trying to figure out my nationality, everyone guesses Chinese or white and some other Asian country but never Filipino. It's cuz I'm light skinned huh?

13. I used to believe I should have been born a lefty. I do everything with my left had. I even tried writing with my left hand when I was younger. I still want to be left handed.

14. My dad chose my major in college and I guess chose my career since they are related. I didn't want to work with computers. But I think if he didn't make me take computer science, I'd still be in college trying to find my way.

15. The first time I rode on a plane was when I was 21 years old and it was to Seattle to look for a job. A couple months later, I was on a plane to Chicago for a job interview. I was so scared to fly alone that I brought my dad with me.

16. My favorite holiday is Halloween because I like to dress up. I'm sure my future husband will love that about me.

Sports Injury

I will know tomorrow if there is really something wrong with my thumb. I hurt my thumb back in March playing tennis. I'm not a tennis player but I know that it's a bad idea to hit myself with a tennis racket. But for some reason when I swung the racket, my other hand decided to move towards the oncoming racket and smack right into it. It's been hurting since March, but now that work isn't too busy, I think it's a good time to get it checked out now. Hopefully nothing is really wrong with it and that a brace will suffice.

100+ miles and 8 hours of sleep in 3 days

How many of you can say you drove over 100 miles in 3 days, slept only 8 hours, and stayed in your city? I'm really disappointed as to how much I drove over the weekend because I'm supposed to be frugal with gas nowadays.

Friday: jmarck. Holiday Party at Rei's house. I looked on my odometer and it was 30 miles one way! After his house, went to Green Valley Ranch for a suite party. At least it was on the way home.

Saturday: Planet Hollywood to go clubbing with some people from the Bay area.

Sunday: Every Sunday drive to the aunt's house for lunch and Boulder Station casino to drop off my mom to gamble. Then after picking my mom up and dropping her home, off to dinner at Mandalay Bay with some friends. Then a bar at MGM to hang out with the Bay area friends.

So yes, it was a lot of driving and of course a lot of drinking and barely any sleep. Being sleep deprived at work on a Monday is not the best feeling ever. I hate not being able to sleep after a night of drinking. How is it that everyone else passes out after they drink and I can't? I don't drink red bull anymore. So now I'm going to get ready for bed and sleep right after Gossip Girl.

Not My Cup of Rich

Last night, my friend Daniel randomly called me and invited me to a suite party. I was already at my own party I threw with JMARCK at Rei's house but he sold me on the idea of going to the party with two words, rich men. Daniel hangs around a lot of guys who have really high paying careers. So of course I told him I'd go and I'll bring my fellow wannabe gold digger friend Aprille along for the ride. We're just wannabe gold diggers because we just say we want a rich husband but it really isn't a criterea for a husband. By the time we got to the suite, it's was already late and almost everyone had left because security broke up the party. Daniel introduced me to his good friend George who was the richest guy there and was the one who got the suite. George was already trashed and Aprille and I were starving ever since the holiday party at Rei's house started. After a few shots of jager, we decided to eat at Fatburger. The whole time we were eating, George kept talking about how much he paid for that room and how he's going to get someone fired for breaking up the party. He also kept mentioning how the night before, a bartender wouldn't give him a straw so he offered her 5 grand as a tip if she'd only give him a straw. The whole night, all I could think of was this guy was flaunting his money and it's so tasteless. I have a lot of rich friends and they NEVER talk about how they just throw money away like George kept talking about last night. Aprille and I went to the bathroom and we were both ready to go home because we were tired and bored of this rich guy. He may be the richest guy I've met based on his stories of how much he spends, but by the way he flaunts his money, the only woman he'll ever attract are gold diggers. And rich guys complain why they always attract gold diggers right? I want to meet a secret rich man where I don't know he's rich until the 3rd date.

Just Cause I'm Nice Doesn't Mean It's a Crush

My coworker at work is going through a divorce after 13 years of marriage. I feel really bad for the guy so the past couple of months, I've been talking to him to make sure he's ok. Once in awhile, I'll compliment him on how he's a good catch just to boost his ego. On Monday, we were talking about relationships and he told me that I was a good catch. How I'm smart and beautiful and he even told me that a few guys around the office do notice me for my wonderful qualities. Later on in the conversation, he said we should have lunch sometime and I said I was free on Friday. His response? "Ok! It's a date!" I tried to not be too obvious that I didn't want it to be a date by saying, "uhhh, we can invite the guys. I'm sure they'd like to join us." Then he says that it won't be a date anymore. How can I be completely oblivious?! I tend to flirt on accident because when I talk to people, I'll touch them once in awhile. I even do it to girls. And clearly I do not like girls. It's just my way of showing the person that I'm really listening to them. So now it's awkward whenever I see him because I don't feel the same way. I once told my other coworker that I would never date a coworker, but lately I've been noticing this other coworker of mines. He's pretty cute and I'd break my rule for him.

Peace Out

I like to live life without any regrets because once something is done, there is no way to change the past. But these past couple of months, I feel like maybe I did make a mistake and that history is repeating itself. You got what you wanted and in the end you are still an asshole just like before. I seem to never learn I guess. But it's okay because I don't need you in my life. I'm tired of trying and we don't need to be friends anymore. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. If there ever is a time in the distant future that we start talking again, I'll keep you at arms length because there will not be a third time. Til then, peace out.

Just My Luck!

For the past month, I've been working 12+ hours everyday even on weekends, getting free dinner, and barely sleeping to prepare for my first G2E show as a game developer. And at the same time, I've been sick for 2 weeks. This cold lasted so long because I haven't had a chance to rest. Yes, I did take two days off when I first got sick but it wasn't enough. I started to feel better yesterday until the end of my shift and the beginning of my overtime shift. I got home around 9pm and rushed into bed because I couldn't get warm. I realized that I was running a fever and my whole body was aching. Just my luck! One day before G2E and I catch a fever. So today, I had to call in sick which today is probably the most I'm needed. I called my boss to see if my game loaded correctly last night but I felt awful for not being able to go to the show. I'm just glad my boss is very understanding especially since I've been working so much. My plans after G2E? Sleep, shop, and see people I havn't seen since I was too busy working.

Sleeping Through History

Yesterday was when America found out the next president will be Barack Obama. So where where you when history was in the making? Yea I was sleeping. I've been sick for the past two days and been sleeping my illness away. I don't even know how I got sick. I wasn't near anyone that was sick the past few weeks. The only thing that I think can cause this was the flu shot I got a few weeks ago. Regardless on how I got sick, this is just bad timing. I haven't been at work in two days and the show is in two weeks. I'm just thankful that I have a very understanding boss who is capable of filling my position when I cannot. I just hope I am well enough to function tomorrow because I can't miss 3 days in a row. I've been so bored here at home that all I've been doing is sleeping, watching tv, and eating soup. I hate being sick.

50 Dollar Chicken Wings and Pizza

For Julia's birthday weekend, she got a room at the Venetian so we can party at Tao without having to worry about driving home. Ever since the cruise, we've been missing that lifestyle of partying in the club and just walk downstairs into our room. We decided we were on 'vacation' and not worry about anything. We even came up with fake names and places we were from. We wanted to use ugly names so Julia's friend said she'll be Olga, without realizing that it was her friend Chris' mom's name. After eating at the Grand Lux, we pregamed in the room where we finally finished the coffee patron and the hennessy Aprille and I bought for my birthday. We got into Tao and kept drinking until 2am. Well technically it was 3am, but the clocks changed on us. We were starving but no place to eat so we decided to order room service. We were so desperate for food that we didn't care it cost 50 bucks for a medium pizza and 6 pieces of chicken wings. We tried to wake up Julia to get her to eat since she wanted chicken wings but she was too tired and said I could eat them. So we ate them, but left her 3. Next thing we know, she woke up and got mad for a brief second that we ate them. We ate almost all the food because it was 50 bucks. We never waste food when it's that expensive. Even though we spent so much this weekend, it was worth it. I can't complain since they spent about 500 bucks to go to my birthday. What's a hundred bucks for Julia's birthday right? Besides, with good friends, money doesn't matter. And this weekend was like the cruise, partied all weekend with barely any sleep. And unfortunately, we don't have a day off to recover, but it was worth it.

How Do I?

How do you comfort a friend who is doubting her marriage? How do you comfort a friend who thinks her husband is cheating on her? How do you comfort a friend who believes her husband will never change and is an awful father? Today Carrie and I caught up over donuts because she's moving in a few weeks to San Pedro with her husband. We were catching up on what was going on in our lives when she told me everything going on with her marriage. She confessed that her husband told her that while in Iraq he was contemplating a divorce. They aren't happy and they fight a lot. She told me he flirts a lot and that doesn't bother her but when she found picture text messages from random girls, that made her wake up. She wants to talk to him but whenever they do, they fight and he doesn't admit to his mistakes. All I could say was, I'm sorry and asked how long has this been going on. I feel bad because their marriage is on the rocks but I didn't know what to say to make her feel better. I told her that hopefully it'll get better when they settle in California. I asked if she'd leave him if he is cheating on her and she said she doesn't know. Even though she doesn't want to think about it, I told her that she needs to have a back up plan just in case it ever leads to that. It's so hard to see someone who is such a good person go through hell and you can't do anything about it. Pray that everything goes well.

Just a Waste of My Time

Last weekend was our JMARCK. Academy party and at the end of the party, everyone knew I liked Leon. He's the first Asian guy I liked in a long time. Julia's whole goal of the night was to get me 'pizza' from Leon. So everyone got the hint that I liked him. The next day, Eddie asked if anything will happen with me and him and I said of course not. I tried to get his attention the whole night and it didn't go anywhere. Towards the end of the night, I was bored with him. He wasn't catching the bait I was using and I know why. He doens't like Asian bait. He's into white girls and that sucks. I feel like a black woman when the black man she likes only likes white women. What's wrong with us Asian women huh? Anyways, everyone keeps telling me you never know. He might go for me even if I'm Asian. Well all I gotta say is he lost his chance, and it's just a waste of time trying to convince him Asian women are just as beautiful as white women. And plus, he's two years younger than me. I need someone who's either almost finished with school, or is already finished. I don't need to babysit a guy. That's what marriage is for right?

San Diego Adventures

Going to San Diego was quite a journey. Hitching a ride with my dad to Cerritos for Jason's baptismal only to leave 4 hours later with Marvin whom I've only met the weekend before at Tao through Aprille. Marvin takes me to San Diego where he tries to scare me with a story of the haunted freeway. It's off the Sorrento Valley exit on the 805 South freeway. The story is that a long time ago, there was an accident on that exit involving a school bus where there were either a few fatalaties if not all. And they say that the exit is now haunted by the children who passed away that fateful day. The exit is on a downward slope and at the end of the exit is a stop light. They say if you stop your car at the light and put it on neutral, your car will be pulled up the slope all the way to the top. As we exit the freeway, Marvin stops his car and puts it on neutral and low and behold, we go up the ramp! I'm so glad that it was daytime because that would hella freak me out even more at night.
Finally getting to Lyn's house, the girls take a nap to get ready to go clubbing later that night. The night was short lived because of some drama among their friends so we end up at Russ' house to party some more. I guess we were so exhuasted and drunk. We get to his house and laid down on the living room floor to watch some tv and the next thing we know is that it's 7 in the morning and we have blankets on us.
Aprille and I left Sunday with barely any gas left in her tank. We couldn't find a Cheveron so she said she could make it from San Diego to Ontario with very little gas. She promised me we'll get gas there. She exited in Corona looking for a gas station because we were on EMPTY. We circle around a shopping center looking for a gas station and no luck. Luckily for us, we miss our freeway entrance and we found a gas station just in time. Beggers can't be choosers when we're on empty. We had to get gas at Shell. A lot more happened in my one day stay in San Diego but these were just the highlights.

Let Me Go

It's so hard to grow up with traditional Filipino parents because they will always believe their grown children are still children and still treat them like they are children. It's so hard for them to accept the fact that their children don't need to depend on them anymore. This year has been the first time I've gone out of town with friends without them and they kept calling me to see if I was okay. They don't realize that I can take care of myself. I'm financially independent and am capable of making my own decisions. It's really annoying when they are constantly calling and reminding me not to travel at night. Yes the sun goes down. No I cannot control it. And if I have to travel at night, I am capable of driving. They need to let me go before they push me away and they'll rarely see me.

Open Book

I've always been able to tell people everything about me, both good and bad. I've come to realize that maybe being an open book is not a good thing. It can backfire and work against me. At work, I've been honest about my life and what I do in my spare time. With friends, I've told a selected few everything about my life including personal secrets about the guys I've been with. I'm not one to keep minor secrets about people . I'll usually tell someone who's not in the circle and will never run into the person the secret is about.

My current secret. I slept with my best guy friend and we told each other we'd never tell anyone about us. We'd pretend we're having a secret love affair. The day after, Aprille asked me if I had sex and I automatically said yes. The only reason why I told her was because she has never met him and probably will never meet him. Ever since the cruise, I felt like we can talk about anything especially about sex. Then I asked if she had sex and she sadly said no since Rod was out of town. But she did tell me they did when I left his house two weekends ago. I said thanks for waiting for me to leave because I really don't want to hear them having sex, only because Aprille says she's pretty loud. LOL.

Never Say Never

I've done something that I've told myself I'd never do and I'm not ashamed of it either. Fatigue played a huge part of our early retire not feelings of uncomfortableness. The only thing that crossed my mind was what took so long and when will it happen again. And I know nothing will become of it because it's been over for quite awhile now. It's just happening for the present benefits and I'm okay with it this time around. Don't judge me for being a hypocrite. Thanks.

Adventures With Monica & Aprille

A night is never boring when Aprille and I are together. For one, neither one of us can say no to the other. Last night was no exception. We began our night pregaming in the parking lot of the Venetian and then concluding the pregaming inside the Venetian with Eddie and Aprille's friend Marvin. After a few shots of Coffee Patron and Hennessy, we continued our night at Tao. I haven't gone clubbing since January so I was pretty excited. We headed straight to the bar of course and ordered some vodka redbulls then ran around Tao looking for Lisa. A few vodka redbulls later, we were having a good time trying to loose our cockblockers Marvin and Eddie. Aprille had the hiccups so we left Tao where she refused to stop by the bathroom to let me pee. We got to her car and she opened the two doors on her side and told me to pee in the parking lot. I've never done that before in Vegas, only in California. We both got in her car and she tried to convince me we can both just drive home. I told her that we're staying in her car until we sober up because we're definitely both trashed. She parked her car next to my car and we passed out. Everything after this is a little blurry.

I was told that Mikey and I were communicating at this point and he found us because we kept honking our horn for like 20 minutes. We knocked out in Aprille's car with the engine running when they reached us and they got into Aprille's car. They woke us up and she's convinced she can drive again so she pulls out of the parking space and she tried to make a left turn towards the elevators where we yell to turn right so she made a sharp right turn and parks her car where we passed out again. The next thing I remember is they woke us up and I convinced them to take my car to my house where we both pass out on my bed. Two hours later, the tables are turned and Aprille is the one trying to wake me up to get me to take her home.

Last weekend, I was waking her up at Rod's house to take me home after a night of partying. We both try to find a few things around my room including her keys. Apparently she was able to put her key on the key chain and there was money all over my room. Not sure why her money was everywhere. All I know was, last night was an awesome time and we're both going to California this weekend and I can't wait. Stay tune for the next adventures with Monica and Aprille! And of course, we never drink and drive that is why we were sleeping in the car. I know when I can drive and I'm really good at reading people to know if they can't drive either. I'm thankful Mikey was there to insist on finding us to make sure we were okay. I just hate how I'm never sleeping on the weekends now. But I realized that my bed was pretty busy this weekend. ;)

Camera Miracle

It's a miracle! I fixed my camera using every guy's method. Forcing the lens to close by hitting it against my hand. Once the lens were closed, I pushed the power button not sure if I want it to turn on or not. If it turns on, then I'll have no excuse to buy another camera. If it doesn't turn on, then I'll mourn the loss of a great camera. What happened? It turns on. Don't get too excited. It's not the same camera as it was two weeks ago. It turns on with the lens a little zoomed in and I can't zoom out any farther than that. It turns on to a blurry lens until you zoom in and out to adjust the focus. I've decided I'm still going to buy a new camera. Use this old camera whenever I go out to events that involves alcohol and use the new one for other things. So no more mourning my camera. It has resurrected from the dead!

24 is Expensive

• New camera: $300
• Two new tires: $160
• Birthday trip: $500
• Being able to say I had a good time: priceless

I've only been 24 over a week and I've already experienced some bad luck and an overload in my budget. Aprille, Julia, and I all have the same problem. Parents financially taking advantage of us because we have a career. The 2 years I've been working, I've never really spent anything on myself. Yes, I buy myself clothes and such, but all my big expenses goes to my parents. I think the most I spent on myself at one time was $200. So we definitely indulged on the cruise. Unfortunately, while on the cruise, I broke my camera. I'm not angry at Julia for dropping it since I know it was an accident. And plus I wanted a new camera anyways. Bad luck number 1.

Then on Saturday, we had a one week reunion from our vacation and went to Blue Martini. We bought quite a few drinks and drank like we were in Mexcio. Julia kept telling everyone it was my birthday so everywhere I went people greeted me like we were in Mexico again. At the end of the night Aprille, Rod, and Phil were walking me to my car when we noticed I had a flat tire. Great! Bad luck number 2. So I spent the night at Rod's house only to wake up at 6am freaking out because I didn't want it to look like I spent the night at a guy's house with my whole family on my dad's side spending the night at my house. I didn't know what to do so I called Aprille's phone hoping she'd pick up. There was no way in hell was I going in their room. I do not want to walk in the middle of anything. I finally get a hold of her 30 minutes later and we slowly get going. Walking through the front door at 8am to my grandparents in the living room was pretty humiliating. I immediately say I got a flat tire and spent the night at Aprille's house and she just dropped me off. I said that my car was the only lucky one since it was the only thing that got nailed that night. We were all too drunk to get lucky. I found out on Monday that someone had slashed my tire instead of the nail flatening it. I immediately thought Linda did it but I have no proof. Yes she was there at Blue and yes she does hate me, but can she be that cruel? If it was her, then I hope Karma tortuously bitch slaps her.

People say bad things happen in threes just like death so I'm waiting for my 3rd bad luck. I'm just hoping it's not as expensive as the other two. From the pattern the cost of my bad luck is decreasing but the impact on me increases. Let's just hope that I'm done with the bad luck. I can't afford it. Maybe the universe is telling me to take another vacation. I really do deserve another one.

(H)O-LA!

Mexico was an awesome vacation and birthday in one. Even though it was only the three of us, I wouldn't change anything. Aprille and Julia are the greatest vacation buddies I could ever ask for. We all bonded with each other and realized how similar we all are. We were together the whole time from beginning to end. We shared our deepest secrets and made new secrets with each other. You would think there were more people in our room since we were so loud but it was just the three of us. All we talked about were the show Friends, food, alcohol, sex/penis looking objects, and pizza. There were so many phallic looking objects on that ship. It's like a porn convention. We were pretty popular for our vulgar behavior and being the ones from Vegas. And we were drinking the whole time since none of us had to drive anywhere. We just had to be able to get to the right room, unless someone said "pizza" then the other two would go upstairs and get some pizza while the other would get some "pizza". We all agreed that Mexico was OUR Las Vegas and promised to not divulge everything that happened on the trip. Let's just say that we took over 300 pictures and only about 100 can be posted online. Everyone keeps asking about the trip and all I can do is say, "I had a good time" with a big smile on my face. We made up a new dance and our theme song for the trip was Pretty Ricky's song On the Hotline. Driving home with an hour of sleep was crazy. And sleeping 13 hours to catch up on the lack of sleep felt great. We're already ready for the next trip, Cabo San Lucas. Til next time, Adios!

Overhearing Conversations

Me: Eye Candy lounge is alright. The only time I've been there, I was sober.

Aprille: You? Sober? Why?? Did you make another bet?

Me: Oh no. I couldn't drink cuz I was on medication.

Aprille: Medication?! That just sounds so wrong. If someone overheard our conversation, they'll wonder if you're crazy.

Me: Oh yeaaaa. Maybe I should say, I was taking my psychotic medication and see who starts walking faster cuz they were listening on our conversation.

Aprille: LOL. If they only knew.....

2 Weeks

Two more weeks to go til I'm off to Mexico. I have so many things to take care of and yet I'm procrastinating. I have to find some clothes to wear to the cruise. I have to buy some stuff to take with me. And I have to clean my room since the weekend I get back, my family will be staying at my house for the weekend. I enjoy having my family visit me but not when they stay at my house because they come in pacts of 15. So imagine about 20 people in one house with just two bathrooms. I have to stay in my parents' room and I have to lock up everything in my room. A few years ago, I found out my cousin was a kleptomaniac and likes to also destroy people's property. She cut a hole in my leather chair and she stole my diamond earrings. I couldn't prove it was her but who else would do it? My sister said she was the only one in my room while everyone was downstairs. So from now on, I carefully watch her. I remember when I was in California staying at her house, I saw that my contacts were ripped in half! At first I thought I accidentally ripped them the night before but whenever I rip my contacts they don't rip in half. So the next two weeks will be stressful but it will be all worth it. Relaxing on the cruise with some good friends.

Today Will Never Be the Same

Today has always been a unique day. Today is my aunt's and my two cousins' birthday. But it will never be the same anymore because today is PJ's birthday. He would have been 25 years old. I remember last year today I was in California with my cousin Christene celebrating her birthday with my cousins and we called PJ to greet him happy birthday. He has always been the light of the party in our family. But even though he's gone, he still makes us laugh. We talk about him all the time as if he's still with us. He was the greatest person I've ever met. Happy birthday PJ and I love you!

Kinda Bitter

Ever since my close friends turned down my birthday cruise, I've never felt more rejected in my life. I understand that they can't go because of money reasons but they didn't have to tell me they are going and then last minute tell me they can't afford it. I gave everyone 2 months to raise 300 dollars. I'd think that you would know by then if you can afford it or not. I was really excited that they were going to come along with me and then getting my hopes up makes me feel want to distant myself from them. This Saturday is Kathrina's late graduation party. I'm proud she finally graduated but I kinda feel bitter towards her for telling me she'd go on the cruise until the day before we were buying the tickets to tell me she can't afford it. It sounds childish to say that I won't go to her party since she isn't going to mine but that's what I feel like right now. I feel like I don't want to associate with my friends right now even though two of my friends are still going with me. It's all about the principle of sticking to your word and being responsible enough to just say no ahead of time. I graciously told her that I might not make it because I have some stuff to do this weekend which is true. It's PJ's and Christene's birthday tomorrow and Christene will be in town this weekend. And in honor of PJ's memory, I'd rather spend this time with my family.

One Month to Go

It's crazy to think that another year has past. Time does fly when you are older. And growing up is really hard to do. I've experienced so many things in a year, both good and bad. So this year I'll be turning the big TWO-FOUR. I'm tired of the same old way of celebrating my birthday. All we do is go clubbing for birthdays. So this year, I've decided to change it up a bit. I've decided not to celebrate my birthday in Las Vegas. I'm going on a cruise to Mexico with a couple of friends. Through this trip, I've come to learn that some people are not as reliable as they seemed. I wanted to celebrate my birthday with a few close girlfriends. I trust these girls with my life. I gave everyone two months to decided if they can come or not. Everyone seemed very interested and excited which got me excited. Well it's a month before my birthday and everyone bailed out on me. Everyone except for two friends. One is a friend whom I only see on special occasions and the other is one I've met only once. I'm not complaining because they are awesome, but I wish that people would tell me straight up they couldn't afford it or they can't go because of work. It's hurtful getting me excited by telling me they'll go on the trip and bailing out last minute. But you know what, it'll be a blast. They will just miss out. Everyone is saying that their are sorry and are saying they'll make it up to me. Honestly, I don't want their pitty for not making it. And I'm not about to do another celebration when I get back so they can "make it up". I sometimes want to just not go to their birthdays just to show how hurtful I feel for them backing out last minute. But I'm never one to be that spiteful. So here is to year the 24.

High Expectations

When I was in SCM, it was our job to reject products that didn't follow policy in order to make every release consistent. We needed to whip people in shape into following directions. It was out job to point out what went wrong and how to correct it. The main culprits were game developers. They never followed the rules. Their main goal was to get their products out as fast as possible even if it didn't follow policy. When I transfered to game dev, everyone has high expectations of me. Everyone expects me to have my games perfect since I know the rules, since I enforced the rules. I was talking to a director and he joked around saying he can't wait for SCM to reject my game. It's so hard to live up to those expectations but it's all in good fun. We all know that everyone makes mistakes. I've even publicly acknowledged my mistakes when I realized them when I was in SCM.
In other news, I really love my new position. My new coworkers were so accepting of me and really helpful. Everyone I interact with are around my age so we have a lot in common. Kyle was right. People make me happy, not the job. I like interacting with people and in game dev, I'm constantly interacting with many people. People will stop by my cube to talk to me every so often. It's nice to find a job that I truly enjoy. For now. ;) lol The plus is that I don't have to see Ed anymore.

You're the Only One

Of all the people I've loved and lost, you're the only one I constantly think about. You're the only one who I dream about. And you're the only one who makes me want to make something of myself because I now realize we never know when our time is up. I had a dream about you last night. It was like in the movies when someone passes away, the movie will replay the person's life and show how happy the person was throughout their lifetime. That's what played in my dream. I saw the good times we had growing up together and right before I woke up, the "video" type dream showed you laughing and smiling in slow motion as a finale of the film. It was bittersweet waking up to that. Maybe it's you telling me you are in a happy place now. Since you've passed, I've been contemplating more about life and I will definitely start living life and not take it for granted. You're my inspiration.

Too Little, Too Late

"It's just too little too late
A little too wrong
And I can't wait
Boy you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
To be real, it doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)"
- Jojo

While I was in California, Andrew texted me twice back to back.
"Hey! I hear you're still mad at me. Just wanted to see how you are doing. It was never my intention to hurt you. I hope you are doing ok. If I don't hear from you, I understand"
"Hey! I ran into Shawn last night and I just wanted to see how you are doing. Hope you are doing ok!"

I didn't want to text him back. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction that I am all right and he can clear his conscious of how he treated me. It's been a year and a half which means it's too late to apologize. He just wants to hear that I'm doing alright so he can sleep at night. But I think the stress of my cousin passing away and lack of sleep made me reply 5 hours later, "I'm fine. Thanks." He was shocked that I replied and asked why it took so long so I told him I was in California for my cousin and he sent his condolences. And I said goodnight. Today he asked how I was doing and I didn't reply this time. I really don't want to be friends with him. He had to go through Shawn to finally text me? I know he asks about me sometimes through Jill but why now? What does he want? I don't have time for little boys and I don't appreciate him texting me like he cares. If you don't intend on hurting the girls you date, then don't play them! A player will not care if they hurt someone or not. So don't tell me you're intentions were never to hurt me because I don't believe you! I'm not bitter. I just wont get fooled twice. I was also a bit annoyed that Shawn and Andrew were talking about me. I politely asked Shawn to never talk about me with Andrew if he runs into him again. It annoys me that Shawn loves Andrew so much that he compares every guy I date to him but I can't make him forget Andrew. Just don't rub it in my face because I know the real Andrew and if you're really my friend, you'd take my side.

Not Taking Any Chances

My mom says it was meant to be. I call it a coincidence. Whatever you call it, I'm not taking any chances. Two weeks ago for Memorial Day weekend I went to California to see the new additions to dad's side of the family. I was there all weekend and enjoyed my stay since I haven't seen them since my grandma's 1 year death anniversary. When I got back home, I was too lazy to unpack my bag and it stayed on my floor for a week. Little did I know that I'll be using the contents of that bag a week later. Interesting enough, what was left in my bag were two black shirts. My mom said it was meant to be that I go back to California for PJ's funeral. I got back into town yesterday morning and I am not taking any chances. I unpacked my bags, put away my clean clothes, and placed the bag in the closet. This is one sign I don't want to repeat the results. We are trying to break our bad luck. It seems that every time something good happens in our lives, the complete opposite happens. We didn't wear black for his funeral. We celebrated his life and we are hoping this will be the last time we say good bye to a loved one for a long time. Rest in peace dear cousin.

You Got Your Three

You know the saying, "people die in threes?" Well God, you got your three, so please leave my family alone for awhile. I can't believe in 16 months, we've lost 3 people in my family. First you take our matriarch and her brother, but you had to take my cousin. He was only 24 years old. No I am not mad at you. I know you have a plan for all of us. I'm just shocked that it happened. He was the first cousin to die but looking at all the people who came to my aunt's house and his viewing, he was very well loved. Everyone showed my family their condolences and expressed how much PJ made an impact in their lives. He was such a caring guy that was able to relate to everyone, young and old. I rarely see grown men cry but the guys I saw crying over my cousin were guys you'd probably be scared of if you've seen them out in the streets.
I just want to say that I love you PJ and we will see each other again. Every time I eat sinigang, I'll think of when we were young and we used to fight over the vegetables. And I'll always remember that face you make whenever you try to make me remember "step step bow." You always made me smile and I'm glad you are now in a better place. I'll miss you forever. Tell Mamang and Papang I said Hi and I miss them too.

It's Official

June 16th is when I start my new job as a game developer. I signed the paperwork and handed it to HR today and I'm mighty excited. I love my coworkers already. We all got the office communicator so we can IM each other all day and we already have a blast talking to one another. I love having girl coworkers who are my age and I have someone I can relate to. What's crazy is that the intern who is closer to my age lives really close to me. We are planning to carpool when she gets back from vacation for the rest of the summer.
I just can't believe how poorly Ed is taking the situation. He won't even talk to me. He sent an email to the whole group to see if we could access a shared drive. Andrew and I were having problems and he didn't even come and help me. He asked Aaron if he had a problem too. He's such an immature dick that I'm excited that I won't be working with him anymore. No matter how hard I try to be civil with him, he's still rude to me. He thinks he's better than everyone just because he's been there longer but people like him need to wise up. Oh well. I don't care. 2 more weeks and I'm out of there. I'll definitely miss the people I interact with. I'll miss my administrative rights. But hey, I got a huge raise so I'm not complaining. I just hope I'm able to live up to Leif's legend. He set the bar pretty high and I hope I'll be able to catch on fast.

You're So Classy

On Monday, my coworkers and I heard some awful news that there was a death in Ed's family and that he'd be gone for a few days and be back today. Ed is the coworker who always gives me a hard time and thinks he's better then everyone. There was a time where we got into an argument in my cube while I was training the new employees. The tension was so thick, you could probably cut through it with a knife.
Anyways, today I was talking to a coworker and I saw him moving some computers and I decided to see how he was doing. I wanted to send my condolences since I haven't really spoken to him in awhile. I went up to him and asked how he was doing. His response? Nothing. He walked right passed me like I wasn't even there. Whaaat the fuck?! Are you pissed at me that I'm leaving the department? Seriously man, grow up. I know people younger and more mature then you. I am so excited to be leaving my department just to get away from him. I've been spending a week in game development full time and they all welcomed me with open arms. People on the OS side would jokingly give me a hard time for leaving them but they all wish me well. They just give me a hard time because they'll miss me. I am counting down the days till I say peace out and never see him again. Well I'll probably still see him, but at least I don't need to interact with him as much.

A Different Side of You

Last night a few of my friends got together to celebrate Angela graduating with a masters in criminal justice. How many people do you know that has a masters degree by the age of 22? We were all so proud of her except for Angela and it showed at the end of the night. As many of you know, alcohol will reveal many feelings you have built up inside and well, it showed a different side of Angela many of us has never seen before, including me. At the end of the night, she disappeared for awhile and no one knew where she was. We were all hanging out in the parking lot of a karaoke place when all of a sudden she started yelling at Nick, her ex boyfriend and started attacking him. Mike got her to calm down and Kathrina took her aside to talk to her. Mallory and I decided it's time to go home and we were saying our goodbyes. When we got to Kathrina, Angela, and Vivian, Angela started talking nonsense. She kept saying how she failed her dead mother because she cannot make a lot of money with a masters in criminal justice. She kept saying it wasn't fair that she didn't have enough time with her mother when she passed away with cancer when she was in the 6th grade. I really felt bad for her because she's never talked about her mom at all and everyone was getting a glimpse of how she's been feeling in her drunken state. We kept reassuring her that her mother is definitely proud of her. Money does not equal success. But it's hard to convince her when she grew up comfortable and is able to buy anything she wants whenever she wants. I know she will be successful in anything she does, I just hope she realizes it. She deserves to be happy. I just feel that not growing up with a mother, she believes she's not allowed to be happy.

Yea, We Were Talking About You.

Last night Kathrina called me to tell me she wasn't going Aprille's house for her BBQ and I already decided that I wasn't going since my ass and back were hurting from the fall. We were talking about spring flicks this weekend and she told me her friend is coming into town and that I should meet him. She said that he was my type and I said I won't do long distance again. Eric and I were pretty much doing long distance since we only saw each other once a week and looking back, I don't want to do that again. Then I told her how Eric and I broke up. After we hung up, she called me again saying that her friend just texted her saying he was in town already. What a coincidence! It was like his ears were ringing and he knew we were talking about him.

Anyways, after we hung up, I went upstairs to watch a movie and I got a text. I thought it was from her again but I didn't understand the text. Then I looked at who it came from and it all made sense. It was from ERIC. We haven't spoken since we broke up 3 weeks ago. Was his ears ringing too? I was just talking about him with Kathrina too! But anyways, while he was texting me, Mallory called so I didn't get to reply till an hour later. We were talking about Wicked and how he's still behind me. It was weird texting him but I've moved on. As the cliché goes, "there are plenty of men out there", and "I deserve better." I truly do believe I deserve better. I need someone who will make time for me, pick me up, and take care of me. Yea at the time, I felt that he could do all that for me. He just needed some time to get back on schedule after a show, but I was just infatuated by him and ignored the fact that he'll never do those for me. I've woken up and I realized I did all the work and got hurt in the end. So good riddance Eric and maybe one day you'll realize you need to change if you ever want to be happy.

Damn You Blue Skates Girl!

So I was minding my own business at the skating rink when all of a sudden I hear a scream and I got knocked down. I go flying up in the air and I landed flat on my ass. I guess it's a good thing I have some extra baggage in the trunk to cushion my fall. As I am holding my lower back rubbing it to ease the pain, I looked at who knocked me down. The first thing I noticed was the blue wheels on her blue skates. Then I looked up to see this teenage girl trying to apologize to me telling me that it was her friend's fault for letting her go. I tell her I'm ok, but I really am not. I wanted to say, "I'm old! I don't recover as fast as you!" But I just got up and skated on my merrily little way while holding onto my back. Yea I totally did the "old person getting back up while rubbing their back" move. I'll be hurting tonight, tomorrow, and the next day. At least I got some exercise today.

Go Green!

Is it me or is going green too trendy? The government has always been urging people to recycle and conserve energy for as long as I can remember. But ever since celebrities have become aware of the benefits of caring for the Earth and their impact on the lives of their fans, it has become too trendy. Everywhere I turn, there's a commercial or a website about going green. I was watching TLC last night and they were talking about having a channel for the sole purpose of helping everyone go green. It's so trendy that it might be getting out of hand. Yes, I care about the Earth. Yes, I want to have clean air and water but it just seems that people are going too far and are capitalizing on something that we've been doing for years just because a celebrity says to do it. So go ahead and go green if you want, but I'll just stick to my own routine of conserving energy, water, and gas and try to recycle whenever I can. You may call it going green, I call it a routine.

Self Curse

I don't know what it is about me. Maybe I don't knock on wood enough. But whenever I say "I never..." or "I don't...", it actually does happen to me. Take for instance, a few years ago, I was talking to a friend and I said, "I've never gotten a speeding ticket." Low and behold, a few days later, I got pulled over for not only speeding, but for running a red light and no seat belt.

Fast forward to Saturday. I'm working with my mom at the park catering my aunt's college reunion when I decided I want to try and get a tan. If you know me, I can barely get a hint of a tan. But I was outdoors for 5 plus hours so I was bound to get some type of color on this pale colored skin of mines. My aunt suggested I wear sun block because she thought I'll get sun burned since I'm so fair skinned. My response? "I don't get sunburned." Yea, I don't get sunburned my ass. After 5 hours outside, I was red as a lobster. And now my shoulders and my chest are kicking me in the ass for cursing myself. I think this is my second sunburn and the first time doesn't even count. It was just my nose and it wasn't this bad. So from now on, I'm not going to say "I never..." or "I don't..." because there isn't enough wood out there for me to knock on to counteract the curse I put on myself.

A New Future?

Last night my cousin called me saying she was in town since her dad wanted to randomly come to Vegas. I told her that I called her dad a few days ago to see if he could do anything about my application for the county. She told me that he was meeting with Janet, his friend who works for county and that's when we both realized that this random trip to Vegas was because of me! He called me this morning saying that Janet can maybe do something since the position is in the IT department. Hopefully I'll be saying adios to my old job and hola to a new job in county. Pray that I get an interview and I wow them with my charm because we all know that I am not that qualified.

Leaving My Comfort Zone

The one thing I learned from Eric was learning to leave my comfort zone. He made me realize that I wasn't that happy with my current monotonous job and life. I haven't been satisfied for quite some time but I chose to stay only because I'm awaiting a promotion this year. But Eric made me realize that even if I get more money and more responsibilities, I'll still be unsatisfied. So I took the first step into leaving this comfortable life. I applied for a job for the county. I've always wanted a job in the government because of the awesome benefits and the chance for early retirement. Even though I wasn't really qualified, it took a lot for me to actually apply. I even called my uncle to see if he could push my application through or anything to give me a little advantage to my disadvantage qualifications. I really hope I do get this job because I'm ready for a change. New job, new life, and possibly a new man. Well not anytime soon of course, but when I'm ready to let go of Eric.

I Don't Need to Know This

When I told Jill that Eric and I were breaking up, the first thing she said was she was sorry. The second thing she said was, I had a feeling it wouldn't last. Then she goes on to tell me that she and our friends were talking about us at a friend's party that I didn't attend. And they were talking about how they didn't like Eric and that they wish I was still with Andrew. Granted, they just want what's best for me but I really didn't appreciate them judging Eric after one meeting or not even meeting him at all. I don't really appreciate that they bring up Andrew to me. Do they not remember what he put me through? Did they forget how immature he was for going through this 6 month relationship and still not wanting to be exclusive. Granted it was partially my fault for sticking through it, but he didn't have the balls to end it when it was going too far. Why date someone for that long if you really don't have any intentions of being exclusive? I had to step up and save my heart from heartbreak. Now I realize what Eric meant. She didn't have to tell me this even if it's the truth. Even though Eric and I aren't together anymore, I defended him to Jill. I don't think she appreciated me being so defensive with Eric since she never responded to my message of how he and I ended our relationship. I think after my relationship with Eric, I can see how I don't want to go back to my old life. I don't want to hang out with my old friends who still party and drink all the time. Is this me growing up? Well, actually Eric helped me keep my New Year's resolution. Just don't tell him that. I don't want him to get a big head.

Officially Single...Unfortunately

So Sunday night I officially became single. Eric called me around 7pm like I asked him to. He was usually good on his word when it comes to calling.
me: Hey
him: Hey
me: so what's going on?
him: nothing.
me: what's on your mind?
him: nothing
me: no. what's on your mind about us?

And that's when it started. He says he feels like it's not working between us. He says it's only been 3 months and he already feels us growing distant. It's not WE who are growing distant, it's you! You're the one who wont drop the argument. Of course, that's his invitation to bring up Jill again. He says that ever since I told him the truth of how Jill felt the first time she saw him, he couldn't move past that feeling of rejection. And then he accuses me of caring about what people think of me. I tell him I could care less of what people think of me. I know a few people who hate me because of the way I look and act, but it doesn't matter to me. Then he goes on about how I don't know when to drop things. He says that I kept asking him to change his relationship status on myspace. I never told him this because I didn't think of it until we hung up, but the reason why I kept asking him to was because he said he was going to change it and I never saw him follow through on it. And then he says I'm too social for him. He says when I hang out with people, I bring a large group of friends. I told him that the only reason there's a large group of us is because it's usually someone's birthday. I rarely hang out with a large group. I'm usually with a few girlfriends doing a girl's night out. Then he says that he feels like I'm showing him off. What does that mean? He says that the one night I took him out, he felt like I was showing him off. First of all, no I wasn't. I wanted him to meet a few of my friends. And second, they were excited to meet him because we've been dating for a couple of months now and have never seen him. He accused me of forcing him to go when he didn't feel like going. Again, I wanted him to follow through on his promise. He told me he'd go and I think it's important to keep your word. I'm not apologizing for that. I told him that his temper and negativity was what made me realize we weren't good for each other. His little outburst the first day of his job scared me. He was lost yes, but I was helping him with the directions already. He didn't have to keep yelling and cursing about how he knew he was going the wrong way but still continued on with the directions he was given. I told him that I've been reevaluating our relationship since then and that this made it easier for me to end it. Then he goes on saying how he's sorry he hurt me and that maybe if I forgive him we can still be friends. And that maybe we can see each other in two weeks when he's here for the day. I told him maybe. He even suggest that if we're friends by then, we can go camping in the summer. I'd rather go camping with my boyfriend. I told him that the one thing I'll miss was our conversations. We had the best conversations and none of them felt forced. We were able to hold conversations for hours everyday and that's rare to find. And he agreed. And that's when it turned around. We admit we still care for each other. And it would be in our best interest just to end it now so neither one of us gets hurt down the line. We civilly ended our relationship and ended up talking for an hour and a half more as friends. We were even laughing. What type of break up was this?? I told him this was the best break up I've ever had. How can we go from arguing and breaking up to just laughing and possibly seeing this turning into a friendship?

I still miss him. I miss his daily calls. His daily texts. His sweet good night texts. But I know this is for the best. Right now I don't mind his late hours and only seeing him once a week. But I know I'll resent him later. This is for the best and I'll be okay. Maybe not right now, but I know I'll be okay eventually. But who knows, maybe once he's established and settled down, our hearts can meet again. He'll always be a part of me because no one ever forgets their first.

Dun Dun Dun

So I'm still up pretty early. I woke up at 4am today then I went back to sleep only to wake up a little before 7 because I can't sleep anymore. The stress of this relationship is taking a toll on my body. I feel a sore throat coming on. My sleep is being interrupted. I text Eric last night before bed asking if he's off on Sunday and there was response. Today is the day we're supposed to talk about us. I have a feeling he's going to take the immature route and not even call me. I have a feeling he's going to either ignore me till next week, or call me at the last second today. He probably doesn't want to call me so he can hear me cry. To know he's the reason I've been crying all week and loosing sleep.

A part of me just wants us to take a break and maybe pick up where we left off when he comes home in May. But another part of me wants to just break it off because he can never give me what I want in a relationship. I'm not a needy girl who needs to see her boyfriend everyday. But I do want to be acknowledged everyday at least through text. I want to know how his day went even if it's just through a few texts everyday. That's why I was okay with his long hours. He would make time to call or text me. But the one thing he can't give me and I'm sure I'll find in a different guy. Being open minded to do new things. Eric is like an old man. He's set in his ways and is not willing to change. Eric is so negative towards everything that I get frustrated even suggesting something. That's the one thing I wont miss about Eric. His negativity and his short temper. I think ever since his birthday outbursts in LA, I was reevaluating our relationship and I think deep down, I knew it wasn't going to work. His short temper reminds me of my dad and it's what I despise in my dad. When my parents were fighting yesterday, all I could think of was Eric and how if we do go on with this relationship, I'll be like my mother, saying he'll never change and threatening to leave him.

So, hurry up Eric and call me. Let's end this relationship. I've already accepted it and mourned all week for the loss of this relationship. I just want to say that it's not me who is being immature, it's you. You're the one who's not open minded enough to accept other people's opinions and not let it affect you. You're the one who doesn't want to drop it. And you're the one who's using this fight as an excuse to break up with me. You're not as mature as you think you are.

You once told me you feel like you're not supposed to be happy. But I think it's because when you feel a hint of happiness, you take a step back and you intentionally ruin it for yourself. I don't think you want to be happy. I think you want to shelter yourself from happiness because you know you can't stay happy forever and you're afraid you'll get hurt. Everyone has a right to be happy and just because you might get hurt, that feeling of happiness is always worth it. I know you were starting to feel happy. I heard it in your voice when I would talk to you. I saw your face light up from time to time. It's just too bad you ruined something so good between us.

If only I'll be brave enough to tell him all these things without getting choked up. I was never one to talk about my feelings without crying. When Mallory came over on Friday, I was okay until she would ask me how I was feeling and then the water works would come with that simple question. I haven't been this emotional in awhile and I hate it.

What I'll Miss

So my body doesn't realize that I'll be single soon. I've been waking up earlier and earlier each day thinking that Eric will give me my usual morning call. It hurts more and more thinking it's finally over. Tomorrow is supposedly the day we're going to break up. As I'm writing this, I can't believe I'm awake before 7am on a Saturday. Eric usually calls me around 6:30am everyday right before he goes to work, even on the weekends. I'm thankful for my friends who keep trying to comfort me in this time in need. A lot of my friends have never seen my emotional side because I try to hide the pain I feel.

What I'll miss the most is the chemistry and the connection Eric and I had. We were complete opposites and yet we were able to hold a conversation for hours on end everyday. It's hard to find a guy who will talk to you for five minutes, let alone a few hours. He and I would talk about anything and everything. I will miss the Friday nights cuddling and massage sessions. Even though he wasn't the best person who gave massages, his efforts were cute. He was just a big dork at heart and I'll miss that. But I realize more that we were never meant to be. I saw him for who he was and it's definitely not what I want in a boyfriend. The second night he was in LA, he got lost and he called me. He was getting furious because his friend gave him the wrong directions so he kept yelling while he was on the phone with me. He wasn't yelling at me, he was just yelling to express how angry he was that he couldn't get home. You know that saying that women date men who are similar to their fathers. His short temper and his desire to not be social is definitely how my father acts. But his strong worth ethics and his do it yourself attitude is what made me see the qualities I enjoy seeing in my father.

Sometimes I feel that I'm okay with the break up and I'll be fine. Then I'll randomly just cry out of nowhere and realize that I'm still in deep like with him. Some people say he's making this fight about judging people as an excuse to just break up with me. It seems like it but I don't want to taint our relationship. Even though it wasn't a long one, it was definitely one for the books. He made the beginning of 2008 memorable for me and that's how I want to remember it.

We Need to Talk

So I get a text from Eric this morning saying "we need to talk." But not now. On his day off. Why not just get it over with. I know he wants to talk because he wants to break up with me. He tells me that we're in different places. He realized this when I told him that the first time Jill saw him at the party we met, she thought he was a bad boy and didn't like him. He says it was immature of me to tell him that. First of all, he brought it up. Second, what was I supposed to do? Lie? I don't lie to people I care about. I don't want this relationship to end. I care for Eric but it's a two way street and I'll just have to accept it. But I won't end it without a fight. I'm going to tell him how I really feel. If he's going to break up with me because of that, that's not very mature of him. He's not as mature as he makes himself out to be. So we've scheduled a day to talk and most likely break up. It'll be Sunday and I'll be a free girl unfortunately. I really don't want to break up but I must keep my dignity.

What a Coinkydink!

I'm tired of writing blogs about depressing stuff going on in my life. I never realized how hard a long distance relationship was until I became in one. I never realized how hard a relationship was period, until I became in one. But anyways, enough about my depressing sob stories. Just pray that it'll get better for me.

I was listening to the radio and they were talking about strange coincidences that seems to unreal to happen in real life. People called in talking about how they met someone randomly and now they are living happily ever after. People called in talking about how they randomly ran into an old friend in a strange place. My strange coincidence happened while I was in college. I usually went to school early and sat in the hallway outside my class to get some last minute studying. I was minding my own business focusing on my notes when I hear, "Are you Monica?" I look up at this girl who seems to recognize me. I blink a few times trying to rack my brain as to who this person was. Nope, no idea who she was. Then she says, "It's me! Thanh!" The only thing that came through my mouth was, "Oh my God." I haven't seen this girl since junior high and we lost touch. We tried keeping in touch our freshman year of high school but that didn't go so well. We had our own lives already and couldn't hold onto our past. We still talk about that incident when we reminisce about our past. Since Thanh has always been an introvert and a homebody, we always seem to loose touch. But when we do find each other, we are always able to pick up where we left off. The last time I saw her was two years ago, and I'm sure I'll see her one day again. We always seem to find each other.

Not April Fools

So I was going to play an April Fools joke on everyone yesterday and make it a fun day. Instead, April Fools wanted to play the joke on me. Instead of it being funny though, I ended up crying. Last night, Eric and I were just irritating the hell out if each other. It all started with me bringing up a good friend of mine. Awhile back I confessed to him that she hated him the first time she saw him at the party we first met because he looked like a bad boy. She was just being protective of me like a good friend and wanted the best for me. He was taken back by the prejudgment that he instantly said he hated her for that. Well last night was the last straw. We got into an argument of judging people and how he hates it when people prejudge you based on what you look like. Honestly, everyone does it. It's the people who act on their judgment and don't give anyone a chance who are pricks. After some disagreements, I didn't want to talk anymore. I was getting frustrated that he wasn't open minded that I gracefully surrendered my feelings towards prejudgment and said I'll just go to bed. We hung up and a second later he texts me asking if I was mad. Of course I was mad. He insulted my friend based on a prejudgment she made a few months ago in which she had confessed was wrong and has taken a liking to him without meeting him. After a few texts, he has agreed to be open minded and to meet her one day. It just seems that this distance between us is taking a toll on our relationship. He needs to come home soon or else the past two months of hard work will be worthless. I'm willing to fight for it but it's a two way street. I can't fight for two people.

Pressure Cruise

The more you pressure me into going, the more I'll say no. My family decided to go on a cruise to Mexico for the summer and it's such a good price too. I'd go in a heart beat if Jill would come with me but her work wouldn't let her take the time off so I'm not going. Now everyone keeps asking me to just go even though she couldn't come. The truth is, I'd never go with them by myself. I have a love/hate relationship with some of my family members. Don't get me wrong, I love them to death, but some of them I just can't stand. Ever since I can remember, some of my cousins think they can walk all over the younger cousins and belittle them just because they are older. And having to be with them for a whole weekend on a ship does not sound like a fun vacation. I'd rather save up my vacation time so I can go somewhere else with people I enjoy.

Abstinence

I was at the Nellis Air Force base with my family doing some grocery shopping. We entered through the food court and I all of a sudden got hungry. My aunt told me to buy something but I told her I can't eat fast food till Easter. And she said, "oh yea you're practicing abstinence." When she said that I thought she meant I'm practicing sexual abstinence. So I said, "oh no I'm not doing that, I gave up fast food."

Am I Selfish?

So I get the worst news a girl gets from her boyfriend today at 5pm. How can someone go from being extremely happy and excited to extremely sad within hours? Eric texted me saying he might be going to LA for a job and will be leaving on Sunday. Talk about bad timing since tomorrow is our one month anniversary and his birthday is next Thursday. He's been talking to people all day since the news so I have no idea what's going on. He says he's waiting for his boss at ufc to give him word that it's ok to go to LA and work. I know he'll be going to LA because he thinks it's a done deal but deep down I want her to tell him no. Am I being selfish that I want my boyfriend to be poor till his next job in May and stay here with me? I'm already crying and moping around preparing myself for two months of loneliness. But the good news is that our friend who introduced us will be in LA with him so at least he can watch over Eric. It's not that I don't trust him. I trust him completely, but just in case you know? Long distance is tough and I do hope everything works out for the best. I'll miss him so much. I hope 2 months passes by as quickly as the two months I've known him has. For now, you can find me in my room crying or maybe at a bar drinking. Either way I'll be counting down the days I see my boyfriend again.

My Wild Turkey Experience

So it was my friend Shawn's birthday on Saturday and I'd like to know what happened. I thought I was done getting drunk but since my lovely boyfriend was my designated driver and he gave me permission to get drunk, I took full advantage as I also did with him when we got to his place. Shawn's favorite drink is wild turkey even though it's the nastiest drink ever made. Well I guess it's not the nastiest, but it's pretty nasty without a chaser and I'm hardcore like that. I bought him a round to prove to him I can take it. Ever since we've met, he's been trying to get me to drink wild turkey and I kept refusing. Finally I gave in and took a shot with him without a chaser. Then I took 3 more shots of other alcohols and I was finished. I asked Eric to take me to his place so I can crash because I'm wasted. Next thing I know is I'm passed out on his bed and I'm trying to take advantage of my exhausted boyfriend. He was waiting hand and foot on me trying to get me water and making sure I won't oversleep while I'm trying to get him sleep with me. Apparently I'm really horny when I'm drunk and now he keeps teasing me about it. It was a pretty wild night and I'd like to remember more of it.

The V Word

Why does every guy run for their life when they hear a girl is a virgin? It's funny how we criticize grown women who are still virgins and are waiting for the one. Then we lie to ourselves on our wedding day and wear white when we all know that the bride is not a virgin. I had this huge crush on this guy last year and when he finally got the courage to kiss me, it was my birthday. He ended up taking me home because we all know the birthday celebrant has to get plastered on their birthday. Well one thing led to another and we ended up hooking up in his car and when it was time to do the deed, I sobered up and realized I was about to have sex with a guy I barely even know. I told him I didn't want to have sex because I'm a virgin and that was the last I heard of him. Now every time I see him at a party, he looks like he wants to say something to me but all I do is ignore him. He doesn't deserve my attention after the way he treated me.

Seems like history is repeating itself once again for me. Things are starting to heat up between me and Eric. We've been fooling around the past two weeks and I think I'm finally ready to have sex but I don't know how to drop the V bomb on him. From my past experiences, guys get freaked out and run for the door when they hear the word 'virgin'. I finally had the courage to tell Eric that I am indeed a virgin through text because the topic of number of partners came up while I was at work. I had to tell him zero. And I asked if he's turned off by it. His response? "Honestly, a little." Beat me down at my most vulnerable state. Then he says, "Well at least I know now not to put down nice sheets." Wow, what an insensitive thing to say. Even though I really wanted to have sex with him over the weekend, I told him let's wait a month before we have sex. He agreed and I told him that I want him to be more comfortable with the fact that I haven't had sex with anyone. After our conversation he went and took a nap and I called him after work. It's not the same anymore. At first I wish I didn't tell him that I was a virgin but at least now I know how he is. If he dumps me because it's too much to handle then he's not the person I thought he was. I told him in all fairness, I've fooled around with 3 guys. Well 4 including him. But at least I know I'm clean. When he had his whole herpes scare a few weeks ago, I stuck by him but he can't even stick by me for being a virgin and clean? How cruel is that. If he does dump me. Let's hope that he's different from the guys I've dated and accept the fact that I am a virgin. I am still the same person you liked yesterday.

Why Didn't He Call?

I was reading an article on MSN on reasons why even though you had a great date a few nights before, your date still hasn't called. It talked about that just because the guy hasn't called yet doesn't mean he's not that into you. He might have gotten tied up with something so don't worry too much about it. It's easier said then done. Women will always wonder why hasn't he called yet and if we're not good enough. It's in our nature.

When I first met Eric, he used to call me every other day until our second date. He didn't call me for almost 5 days and I got worried that he wasn't into me anymore. I panicked and started asking my guy friends advice based on our second date. That night, he texted me saying he was sorry for not calling lately because he's been working crazy hours and have been tired lately. So I was just overreacting but girls need closure. If a guy is not into me, I'd rather him tell me then leave me hanging. I hate all those 'what ifs' and if I'm told you're not into me, I can just move on faster.

The Unfamiliar

On Saturday my friend Rei celebrated his birthday at Lucille's and the default club for locals, the Lobby Club formally known as Whiskey. Everyone kept asking me if my boyfriend was coming and unfortunately I had to say no because he was working on Saturday. My friends were saying that it was weird asking about my boyfriend because they're not used to me having a boyfriend. I am the same way. I'm not used to saying I have a boyfriend. But Eric and I definitely became more comfortable as a couple and we instantly started acting like a couple.

On Friday, his friend was in town so he hung out with her while I was out with my girlfriends. He called me before meeting with his friend telling me where they were going. I texted him around midnight saying I was already home and he called me at 4 in the morning on his way home from his night. When I found out Rei wanted to go to the club after dinner, I asked Eric if he had a problem I was going to a club. His response? "No. Have fun. Just don't drink too much and no dudes ok?" My response? "I'm cutting back on my drinking already and I only dance with my girlfriends." He responded, "Well then, have fun!" I also texted him when I got home from the club. Funny how fast we were able to transition into being a couple.

Bar Food, Vibrators, and Thongs

Last night was the most random night I've had in a long time. I haven't had a girl's night in awhile so a few of my girl friends met up at a bar to have some happy hour cocktails and food. Everyone was gushing over the fact that I have a boyfriend now. You know how it is when you're in a new relationship. All my friends are really excited that I finally met someone after a couple of years of playing the field. Yea, Vegas men suck. It's hard to find a decent man in this city. Anyways, after everyone asking me questions about my relationship with Eric, my friend Mallory dropped some bad news on us. She broke up with her boyfriend of three years last week. She said he needs to grow up and get his life on track before they can be together. It's understandable. He doesn't have a car, he doesn't have that great of a credit, and he's always relying on her. So after dinner she and i were talking and she said she needs to find a rebound guy to have sex with since she's so used to getting laid everyday. But then she said she didn't want any emotional attachment to a guy so she said she wants to shop around to get a vibrator or a dildo. I've never been to a sex shop before so I was quite amazed as to all the varieties of dildos and vibrators they had. We were there for a good 30 minutes until she just bought one that looked nice and wasn't gigantic. After our little escapades at the sex shop we went to the Forums to do some shopping at Victoria's Secret and left with a bag full of panties. At the end of the night I told Mallory that her idea of me has changed now. Every time I see Mallory she says I have a drink but after last night, every time she sees me, she'll think of the night we bought a vibrator and some sexy panties. Talk about a sexy night but neither one of us got lucky. Well maybe one of us and it wasn't me.

How Gay Are You?

According to the Gay Meter, I'm 33% gay where "I'm a straight-laced girlie girl with just a hint of my butch side sometimes popping out." I told Eric to take it and let me know his results. It might change our relationship. Just kidding.

Myspace Status

Why is it that Myspace has become so mainstream that everything that happens has to revolve around Myspace? So my relationship status changed from being single to being in a relationship on Thursday when Eric asked me to go steady with him. I will forever tease him about that. Who says 'steady' nowadays? But that's what attracted me to him anyways. He's so different from a lot of guys out there. Anyways, I'm getting off track. Ever since he and I became a couple, a lot of my friends keep mentioning I must change my status on Myspace from being 'single' to being 'in a relationship'. I keep telling them that I'll change it eventually but I'd rather tell the important people in my life before changing my status. I don't want people resorting to the internet for updates on my life. I'd rather be the one to tell them about the most exciting news that's going on in my life right now then having them read it through the web. Besides no one has met him yet. For all they know, I probably just made him up right? Don't worry, he's very much real.

Late Night Texts Again.

So wondering how Eric asked me to be his girlfriend? Right after our date last week, we made plans to just watch movies at his house next Friday night (yesterday). He likes to make plans for our next date right when the current date is ending. Anyways, so he texts me on Thursday during work while I was watching Lost.

E: Want to go out go out?
M: What do you got in mind? [I'm thinking he wants to do something besides staying at home and watching movies]
E: No go out
M: What? Im confused lol. U asked me if i want to go out go out as in not stayin in ur house? lol can you clarify im having a blonde moment. lol
E: No date
M: Do i want to go out on a date? lol ask me da question again lol [I'm seriously confused]
E: You want to go steady lol
M: Steady as in....lol [At this point, I know where he's going but I want to mess with him and actually ask me to be his girlfriend]
E: Yea we have been talking for like two months if not thats cool
M: R u tryin to ask me to b ur gf? lol
E: I know i always feel weird saying it initially.
M: I was giving u a hard time lol i know wat steady meant lol i just wanted u to say gf lol but you didnt
E: Why u messin with me lol
M: Its fun and cuz ur cute. lol

He told me Friday morning that he knew what I was trying to get him to say that's why he didn't say 'girlfriend' but I made him say it last night when we were watching Princess Bride. He bought Princess Bride so I can watch it since I've never seen it before. Most guys would just rent it but he said it's a romantic movie and wants to own it so we can watch it more then once. And of course I said yes. :)

Story of My Life

Seems like history likes to repeat itself when it comes to my love life. Right when I finally feel happy, God pushes me off a cliff only to fall back to reality. I feel like I'm never meant to be happy. I really thought for the first time I finally found someone, then I wake up and find myself in the same relationship I was in last year. Don't get me wrong, Eric is an awesome guy. He's an awesome guy dealt with the wrong cards. Today he just told me that there was an outbreak at work and can change our relationship. He told me he found a rash on his arm when he work up today and that a few days ago someone got fired for lying about their health. This guy didn't let anyone know he had herpes and had an outbreak while on the job. One of his coworkers tested positive for it and now he has a feeling he has it too. Thanks a lot God. I was really excited when Eric asked me to be his girlfriend yesterday only to be kicked down today with this news. I pray that it's only a rash and we're overreacting. He was really worried when he was telling me and asked if I would break up with him if it was true he has herpes. I told him don't worry about it. Let's think positive thoughts and hope for the best. Please pray that it's just a rash or something not serious of the sort. I really dig this guy and I really think he will get along with everyone who is dear to my heart.

No Alcohol Please

So today is my first day I can drink now. I finally finished my month long bet with Moises where I can't drink at all and guess what? I didn't even feel like it. My friend Angela thought something was wrong with me when I refused to take shots with her. I took one shot of the lychee sake and even though it was really good, I didn't feel like drinking. So maybe there's hope for me in my new year's resolution of cutting back on the alcohol.

Just Another Day

So today is Valentine's day eh? I didn't even know Valentine's day was coming up that fast until my friend told me yesterday. I told her we'll go to the gym on Thursday and we'll have to work hard since we haven't been in awhile. And her response. "On Valentine's day?? Where's the love?" Ok, we'll take a break this week. Valentine's day is just another day for me. I'm usually single on this 'special' day so I don't really care for it. The past two years, my Valentine was a guy I was currently dating though. I guess since I'm usually single on Valentine's day, I don't really care for it even if I'm seeing someone. I guess I'm just not your typical girl who gets excited on this holiday. Maybe one day a guy will come along and change that. But for now, Happy Valentine's Day I guess.

History Repeaing Itself

It feels like I should be used to it by now. The phone rings and it's a relative looking for my mom delivering some bad news. It was exactly one year ago I was preparing to spend almost a week in California for my grandmother's funeral. I remember crying in my boss' office asking if I could go home early for the rest of the day. About a year and a month ago, we got that dreadful phone call that my grandmother had an accident and our phone was constantly ringing with news from relatives. It was about a year ago where I told Andrew I wouldn't be here for Valentine's Day because I'll be in California burying my grandmother. Today, I feel like I'm experiencing deja vu. Our phone constantly ringing. This time it's my grandma's brother. I was told during work by my aunt who was looking for my mom that he had collapsed and is now in critical condition. I instantly thought of the worst when I heard 'critical condition'. I am trying to be hopeful because I am not ready for another funeral. I'm not ready to go back to California dressed in black. I don't want to sound selfish but I don't want to have to tell Eric that I will not be here to celebrate our first Valentine's together. I feel like February is not my family's best month. It seems like Valentine's day isn't a holiday I should be celebrating. I want to be hopeful but 'critical condition' is just so...critical. And I overheard my aunt talking to my mom that he has a breathing tube to breathe for him and the doctors took 30 minutes trying to revive him. It doesn't look too good for my family. My family all felt that 2007 was the worst year of our lives. We lost the matriarch of the family, five years after we lost the patriarch. A lot of my family members are in the real estate business so a lot of them lost their jobs because of the housing market is in a slump. It seems like 2008 is mirroring 2007. This year is supposed to be a great year. It started off great. And I hope it'll stay like that, even just a little while.

Oh My Aching Ear

Earlier this afternoon I had this shooting pain in my ear. It was as if someone was poking the inside of my ear with a needle. Great. I think I have an ear infection. My aunt was at my house a few hours ago and I asked her what the symptoms were for an ear infection.

Ringing ears or clogged hearing. Check.
Headaches. Check.
Ear pains. Check.
Fever. Nope.

I'm hoping I don't have an ear infection. I'm going to California on Saturday and I don't think the high altitudes will agree with an ear infection. Pray for me.

Late Night Texts

E: Who is gonna be your valentine?
M: Hmm. I'm not sure who my valentine will be. No one yet. :(
E: Will you be mine or you got some other guy in mind?
M: Well there is this other guy lol jk ill b ur valentine ;)
E: You sure i dont want to twist your arm
M: lol im sure :) ur way cuter then the other guy anyways lol
E: lol your not so bad yourself

I'm glad we finally got text on our cell phone plan. It's the only time I get to talk to Eric now that he works graveyard. And talking to him more got him to ask me to be his valentine. I hope this year will be better then last year. Andrew was definitely a disappointment.

This Is Not a Facial, it's More Like a Chestial

I went to a spa last night to get a facial and instead the woman was more focused on my chest and neck area. I think she cleansed the skin on my neck and chest more then my face. Then when it came down to my face, she was doing some extractions that hurt like a mother. She was trying to get some of the white heads near my eyes which left me with some red marks like I had just tried popping a zit. Thanks a lot lady, and I have a date tonight. When she finally focused on my face she slathered on some clay mask on my face. A few minutes later, she was washing my face and was putting on some moisturizer. Then she continued to massage my face but with a tapping motion like she was slapping me with her fingers. If I wanted my face to get hit, I'd get in a fight. And then she started massaging my scalp which left me with extremely tangled hair. I left the spa looking like I had sex hair and I wasn't satisfied. Thank goodness that facial was free. I would not pay that much money for that kind of treatment. The last time I was there, I had the most amazing time. The girl was really sensitive to my skin's needs and knew what it needed. Next time, I'll be asking for Amber when I make my next appointment.

Have a Good Day Baby.

I really like being called baby by women who work at gas stations. I go to the same gas stations every week since I've started working at my current job. I alternate which gas station I visit depending on which is 5 cents cheaper. And each gas station leaves me feeling special and welcomed. I notice that the women who work in gas stations will call everyone baby.
"Hi baby, how can I help you?"
"Can I just have 20 bucks on number 2?"
"Alright. Have a great night baby."

Being called 'baby' by a stranger doesn't have to be creepy sometimes. Only when it's coming from a woman at a gas station. Oh yea, and I love it when my waitress calls me 'sweetie' or 'hunny' but they have to only be older women. I think it's cute when women call strangers using pet names. But of course, if a man calls me that then I'd be creeped out.

6 Years.

It's been six years since my grandpa has passed away and I still think about him from time to time. He was my first experience with death and I took it pretty hard. My family is pretty superstitious and believe that when someone passes, they will visit their loved ones for 40 days. A few days after he passed away, I believe he did visit me. I was in my room studying for an exam with the tv turned on in the background. That's how I study. While I was reading my notes, my tv kept turning off. Every time it turned off, I'd turn it back on. There was nothing on top of the remote to make the tv turn off. I ran out of my room to tell my sister. My sister said it was Papang's (what we call my grandpa) way of saying to focus on studying and to turn of the tv. I quickly turned off my tv and just focused on my notes.

Well, two days ago, I believe he visited me again. I was so exhausted from staying up late talking to Eric that I went to bed around 9:30pm on Thursday. I figured Eric wasn't going to call me since his time changed happened on Thursday and he'd be working graveyard now. Around 12:30am, I get a text message. I turned over and reached for my phone to read the text message. It was Eric greeting me good night. After I finished reading the text message, I looked up near my desk and I saw this figure. It looked like a tall man looking at me. I freaked out and turned my back to the dark figure and I closed my eyes. In my head I kept reciting the line, 'there's no one there, there's no one there.' The next day, I realized it might have been my grandpa looking out for me since it was close to his death anniversary. Or maybe he was approving of Eric. :)

In the Stars

So I added this horoscope application on Facebook awhile back and recently I've never been so amused with my horoscopes. It seems like the stars know that I'm dating someone who has some potential. For the first time, I feel optimistic about this guy. I'm trying to avoid admitting to myself that I'm falling for Eric because I'm scared of getting hurt but everyone seems to notice I am falling for him. Anyways, yesterday my horoscope told me

"You are a classic flirt today and you may have to turn the temperature down a notch or two because you'll be hot hot hot! Your energy is well into overload. You'll be sassy, spontaneous and highly attractive and there will be no better time than today for some extra-curricular recreation."

I'm sassy eh? And I'm looking for some extra curricular recreations. I wonder what those extra curricular recreations are.

And then today I logged onto Facebook to see what is in store for me today.

"Romantic energies are highly erratic and interesting today, but there is a monkey-wrench in the mixture. Keyword is "children". If you are a parent and have an amorous moment this evening, lock the door. If you are not a parent and don't want to become one, play safely!"

At least Facebook doesn't mind that everyone doesn't practice abstinence anymore and encourages safe sex. Too bad Eric is working tonight. Can I reuse a horoscope for a different day?

Bad Timing for Us

So at my friend's hotel party on the first Friday of the year, I met this guy. We instantly clicked. My friend thought we were dating at least two weeks when she saw us together. I felt that this guy was probably going to be the first guy to be different from the rest. He is really cute, funny, sweet, and he gives me his undivided attention. But I guess the dating gods like to play tricks on me. Even though I may be jumping the gun and I'm probably just overreacting but I think this weekend will probably be the last time I see Eric. Last night, Eric told me that his work shift is going to change sooner. His shift is 6pm-6am six days a week where my work shift is 8am-5pm. This will be his shift till the UFC season is over in the end of March. How cruel is that. I'm so used to talking to him for a few hours almost every night since we've met. I just wish we met after the season is over or maybe a month earlier. This weekend will be our second official date but it feels like we've been together for at least a month. But you'll never know. It'll be like a long distance relationship. If we really do like each other that much, we'll make it work. Just pray that it does work out. I'm really happy for the first time. Well except now cuz now I'm worried something will ruin my happiness after I waited so long.

Your Ami

I was watching America's Funniest Home Videos and I saw the cutest video ever. This little girl that's around 4 or 5 years old was on a beach and her dad was asking her where she was.
Dad: Sweetie, tell everyone where we are.
Girl: We're in your...ami.
Dad: No, the word is 'Miami'.
Girl: Yeah, we're in your...am..ami.
Dad: Nooo. Ok. We're in your ami.
Girl: Oh ok. We're in Mine ami.

I could just eat her up. It was the cutest thing ever. It makes me want to go to your ami for some sun.