No Means No

My friend Karen tried to set me up with this guy. We talked a few times through facebook and through text/phone for a few days before meeting up. He lives by my house so he came over to hang out. He seemed like a cool guy so on Saturday I asked him to come over after partying with my family. Big mistake. This guy did a 180 on me. He was a total douche bag and didn't take no for an answer. He tried to get me to do stuff I didn't want to do and when I couldn't take it anymore, I kicked him out of my house. But before he left he kissed me, which made me feel really uncomfortable. So after I kicked him out, he calls me asking me if his keys were in my house. Great. I can't believe I have to let him back inside. His keys weren't in the house, and he still tried to kiss me. Are you fucking serious?! I'm trying to figure out what to do with you, and all you're concered right now is kissing me?? I asked if his keys are in his pockets and he said to search him. Guess what I found? A condom in his pocket! I can't believe after just 2 meetings, he really thought I was that type of girl to sleep with him. Idiot. Anyways, after he tried to kiss me again, I tell him to leave. Not more than 5 minutes later, he called me again, but I didn't pick up. He texted me saying he found his keys. They were under his car near the wheel. Yea, like I'm really that stupid to think you didn't put them there.

I call both Karen and Aprille whom are both friends with him and tell them what happened. They were both in shock and disgusted with the guy. They can't believe he would act that way. Karen expressed her disappointment towards him and so said we need to talk. We didn't get to talk til later that night and when I told him how uncomfortable he made me feel that night, he was shocked. Like he didn't realize what an asshole he was. Then he tried to make an excuse for his actions by saying he was just joking around. And I pointed out that he didn't act like he was joking around and he should have known better when a woman says no, she really means no, and she shouldn't have to repeat herself more than twice. He kept appologizing to me, but I really didn't feel he was sincere about it. He later told Karen that he feels he should just drop all his classes and move back to Utah so the three of us will feel comfortable he's gone. I really think he just wants to take the coward's way out now that a girl stood her ground and pointed out what he did wrong. This guy is just really immature and he just need to realize that not all girls are easy and should be treated with respect. He still wants to be friends but I told him we need to cool off for a bit and he still tried to push us being friends. He needs to also learn how to just accept things and stop pushing his opinions on others to make them change their minds. Big turn off!

What Would You Do?

Last night my sister threw a suite party at Caesar's Palace for her birthday. It was pretty fun. I invited 3 of my crazy friends Aprille square and Julia. We were in our own little world. We were pretty loud and hung out at the bar area just drinking our bottle of Hennessy I bought. We pretty much killed that bottle by ourselves and still didn't feel a good buzz going on. At the end of the night, Julia and I retired on the twin bed we put in the hallway away from everyone. We were trying to sleep when two of my sister's friends started fighting really loud. And this went on for a couple of hours about their relationship and in the middle of their argument, the girl screams and yells out "help!" and a door was slammed shut. Julia and I were listening to their conversation in bed trying to see if we should do something. But we decided to just sit back and see where it will go since we knew my sister and her friends were in the same area as the two people. But what would you have done when you hear a girl yell out "help!" and is trying to get away from her boyfriend?? I really wanted to step in but I wasn't sure if it was my place since I didn't know who they were. If this guy is capable of talking to his GIRLFRIEND like she's nothing and lay a hand on her, what will he do to me? And if it gets out of hand and he leaves, what will he do to her when they meet up later and no one is around? So our decision was to let them yell it out unless something actually does happen. But because of that incident, I couldn't sleep the rest of my stay. I ended up taking an hour nap when I got home this afternoon. Throughout the night I was texting ARod telling her some drama is happening and that I couldn't sleep. She would call and text to make sure we're ok until I was able to sleep when I got home. What a great friend and September is surely an exhausting month!

PS. Nessa if you're reading this, don't mention this to my sister. When we were cleaning up this morning, I asked what happened, she seemed like she didn't want to talk about it. Ok. Thanks! :)

2 Person Kickback

Last week, my friend Jeff IMed me on Facebook. I haven't seen him since college but we'd talk every now and then through Facebook. So when he IMed me, I teased him he never invites me to see his new house yet. So he invited me to come over right then and there. I told him I couldn't since I've been working 12 plus hours that night and all I want to do is relax at home. I figured he lived too far anyways. So he said to come over on the weekend. The weekend comes and he texts me asking if I'm still coming over. I thought he was having a few friends over to have a kickback. Nope. It was just him and me hanging out. We ended up watching football for a few minutes with him explaining me some of the rules. I kind of got into it, but not so much where I wanted to watch a whole game. He noticed I was bored so he pointed to a couple of blue rays he borrowed. I ended up picking National Treasure 2 which by the way was kind of boring. It's no wonder I never finished that movie. I think I've tried watching it twice and fell asleep both times. Anyways, while we were watching the movie, he would touch my leg and slowly go towards my hand. It was so cute. But it kind of caught me off guard. He did kiss my hand a few times which REALLY caught me off guard. I started to feel tired since I spent the whole day shopping. Yes, shopping is tiring! So after the movie ended, I got up and said I should go home now. If he liked me, I think I pretty much blew it right there. I should have at least stayed a little bit to see where he wanted to go. But all I thought about was, wow it's late and I have to wake up at 9am for church. Sigh....oh well. I'll get em next time!

I'm Just Not That Into Him

I can go a long time without talking to him. Even thinking about him. I guess I'm just not that into him anymore. And in the beginning when I realized this, I felt bad. Mainly because I thought he was really into me. But I think we've come to a mutual understanding without having the awkward "I like you but not like like you" talk. He doesn't call me anymore. He texts me on the weekends when he's already out. I'm relieved. I think ever since he got sent to jail for DUI, my attraction for him diminished. I wasn't trying to be judgmental because a lot of my friends and I have driven when we shouldn't have. I'm not proud of myself that I can admit to driving while under the influence. I thank God that nothing happened. Ever since PJ passed away last year, I'm more aware as how capable I am of driving after a night of drinking. There were a couple of times where I wasn't able to hold my liqueur but I have great friends to drive me home. It was the fact that this was his second time running in with the law and both times he firmly believed he wasn't in the wrong. When he point blank said the cops should have just let him with a warning turned me off. It showed that he doesn't take responsibilities for his actions and can't admit when he's wrong. So I shall be moving on with the next guy. Who's next in line? Just kidding! I think I'll enjoy singlehood. I like just hanging out with whoever I want and not having to be half there with the company. Everytime I'm dating someone, I'm always busy texting them while I'm hanging out with friends. So for now, my friends can have my full attention.

I'm Dating a Jailbird

All day yesterday I was texting him and was wondering why he didn't text back. He usually texts back within a couple of hours unless he was somewhere he didn't have reception. He left me a voice mail last night while I was getting ready to go to Yard House. He said that he had a story to tell me. I wonder what that story was so I called him while I was getting dressed.

M: Hey. What's up? What's the story?
H: I just got out of jail.
M: What?! Uh. What happened?

Apparently he was partying all night Saturday night and sun rising Sunday he was going home on the 215 driving 5 mph over the speed limit when he got pulled over. The cop asked if he's been drinking and he said yea but the last drink I had was at midnight. So he was asked to step out of the car and was taken to jail. The legal limit is .080 and he blew a .082. He was complaining to me that the cop was overreacting and he should have just let him go since he was near his house. And I had to rationalize it to him that the cop was just doing his job and if he did let him go and something happened it would be the cop's fault. Yea the cop was a bit anal for pulling you over for just going over 5 mph but maybe he saw something else. Maybe you were swerving and you didn't know? I don't understand how people will make mistakes and when a cop turns them in, it's the cop's fault. They're just doing their job! So now he has a DUI on his record. And honestly, it's turning me off a little. Aprille and I were talking last night and we confessed to driving while being really buzzed that once we get home, we wonder how did we get home. But we don't do that anymore. I know my limit, and I will not drive if I can't. And when I drink, I will drive overly responsible. Last night, I had 2 drinks and 2 shots. Driving home, I saw about 5 cops. I drove the speed limit. I signaled for every turn. I didn't switch lanes too much. I got home safe without getting pulled over. And just be smart about it. It's a 3 day weekend, you should know that there will be LOTS of cops out there during the holidays. So maybe CJ was right last night. He was pretty drunk and "Just a Friend" was playing. So he kept singing it to me asking if he is just a friend. Maybe it will be better if he and I just stay friends. But who knows what will happen.

His Status

Not sure what prompted me to go on his facebook, but when I saw that he was signed on in facebook, I felt like I needed to clicked on his profile. I'm pretty sure I'm over him. Actually, I loathe him. I can't believe I ever dated him. But I noticed that he just changed his status to single and he still has our pictures posted in his album. Not sure what I'm feeling at the moment. Yea I hate him, but also I feel sorry for him. What I learned about him, he will never grow up. He will always depend on his parents and probably work in the casino all his life. Deep down I wish that he's hung up on me and regrets he broke up with me. I highly doubt it but that's what everyone things when they get dumped right? Eh whatever. I'm talking to another guy right now. It's a weird feeling dating someone right away. I usually stay single for a long time before actually meeting someone I like. Who knows where this will go. He seems he's really into me. It feels good not to chase a guy for once. Even though I like to chase guys, I've learned from these past few guys I've dated that I SHOULDN'T chase guys. This guy will text or call me without me asking him to. He's the one who invites me to go out all the time. He's also a great singer! The only thing about him is he talks a lot. It's cool that we can hold a conversation, but when I'm tired, I get more tired listening to him talk. Another iffy thing about him is his choice of degree. He wants to study philosophy, which is cool to follow your passion, but seriously. What can you do with that degree? But what I learned about him is that since he served his time in the military, once he gets his degree, he can learn to be a pilot which is what he really wants to do with his life. Maybe I'm just picking at his faults cuz I've been hurt so many times I don't want to fall for another guy and risk getting hurt again. We'll see where this goes.

Bump on the Head

So I'm not sure if I should be alarmed or not, but I've had this massive headache since Monday and I even found a bump on my head. Although, I'm not sure if I've had this bump already or not. And if I didn't have this bump, I don't know how I got it. I don't remember hitting my head. So that's why I'm not sure if I should be frightened or not. I was asking Aprille if I should see a doctor about it since she's a nurse and she asked her boyfriend Rod since he's a doctor. They were supposed to call me last night, but by the time she texted me, I was already sleeping.

I've been sleeping butt early lately. I fell asleep around 9:45pm last night. I wanted to sleep at 9pm, but I forced myself to stay up for 45 minutes and that was a huge struggle. Towards the end, I was pretty much asleep but I woke up at 9:45 just to turn off the tv. I wonder if this headache is from my lack of food intake. Since I've been stressed and depressed lately, I haven't been eating lately. The week I was stressed out about Jason and realized he was going to break up with me, I barely ate. A lot of people will eat when they're stressed, not me. I get nauseous and have no appetite. It was so bad that last weekend, I was down to 95 pounds. Gross huh? Well I've gained a little bit of weight back, but I'm still under 100 pounds. I ate so much on Saturday that I think I gained 5 pounds that day. Not too sure if I like being under 100 pounds. I like how my stomach and arms are skinnier but I don't appreciate my boobs shrinking with the rest of them. So now that I'm back to eating like a normal person, I'm trying to work out to balance it out. But it's hard to work out when you have this headache pounding your head with every little movement you make. I can't wait til I'm back to my normal self. I hate being like this and I'm trying to get over it, but I guess everyone is right. I just need to take it slow.

I'm Not the Same...Yet

I really don't understand how Jason could have this much affect on me. I've been so down lately since the breakup that everyone are noticing that I'm not the bubbly upbeat person anymore. Not everyone at work knows what happened so they'll come up to me and ask me to smile or if I'm ok. Which makes it worst for me cuz I have to put on a smile and say 'yea everything is fine.' I'm trying to be the same person I was before I met Jason and while I was with him, but I can't. I just woke up this morning angry because I had a dream about him where it was like the night we had dinner and he was a total douche bag towards me. I thought I've moved on but I guess I got hurt more than I realized. I have the best friends who will keep me company and ask me how I'm doing and try to cheer me up. I'm greatful for them. Well, it has only been a week since we've broken up so I guess I'm asking too much of myself to get over him already. People keep telling me it takes about half the time we were together to get over someone. So am I supposed to feel crappy for a month and a half? I hate this transition.

Moving on Up

The past few days I've been looking at houses again. At first I was hesitant to look since the main reason I even considered buying a house was so I can move out and have Jason and I be together alone. But since we broke up on Friday, I thought maybe I could just live at home for awhile. But when I started looking, I realized that maybe it is time I move out. I'm almost 25 and I should learn to grow up now. Learn how to balance my expenses, cook, clean, and such. Hell, if it doesn't work out, I can always move back home and just rent out the place. But looking at houses did take my mind off of the loss of my relationship. When I get home though, I think about him and I'd still go on his facebook to see if he changed his status. As of right now, he still hasn't. Which I'm sure he won't for awhile since he's busy with his two jobs and trying to fit in working out. I don't know why I care so much. I'm sure he doesn't think about me. I bet he's relieved he got rid of me so he has more time to be with his friends and do nothing. I need someone who is emotional mature and is going to be with me for the long haul. For now, it is singlehood again. It sucks but I have no choice. Maybe I should take up on Jill's mom's offer of this cute accountant. But I hate getting set up, but you never know.

The Break Up

Thursday night, Angela and Jill both three wayed me and I knew instantly something was up. Apparently my suspicions were correct. Jason told Matt that he was going to break up with me this weekend and Kelly overheard him and told Angela who then told Jill and me. I was told that Jason doesn't want to be serious with me. Which got me confused because he was the one who chased me for 2 weeks and asked me to be his girlfriend right away. I was the one who asked him to slow down because I felt like we were moving too fast. And I was also told that the only reason why he asked me to be his girlfriend right away was so I wouldn't sleep with anyone else. How selfish and immature is that? He wasted my time and played with my emotions. He told me he was a relationship guy and doesn't like to date around. He should just stick to dating casually then. I was so angry and heartbroken when I heard this that after I got off the phone with them, I texted Kelly for more answers. And she told me that he is really selfish and immature and she hates him. She is glad that I won't be dating him anymore.

So Friday comes along, and the plan was to go clubbing at Jet and break it off with Jason right after. Jill and I rode together since I asked if I could spend the night at her house. I thought that I would be too devastated to drive all the way home by myself. So her whole goal was to get me good and drunk that night. But I decided that it would be best for me not to so I won't get too emotional. I had a good time hanging out with everyone. The only reason why I agreed to come out was because Tiff was in town from Hawaii. We decided to go to Ellis Island after clubbing to hang out for a bit and while I was there, Jason keeps texting and calling me. Asking how was the club and that he was going home already. As he texted me, I was asking Kelly what's going on at home. She was telling me when he got home and what he was doing. I decided to not answer him and let him wait. He left me hanging all week by not talking to me, so why talk to him right?

Around 2:30 am, we decided to just get it done with. Jill and Tiff dropped me off and waited outside. I told them I'll only take ten minutes. So I grab my bag with me so he thinks I don't know we're breaking up. I called him to let me in and he said he kept calling me. And I said, yea I know. I was busy talking to my friends. I get in the house and quickly say hi to Matt and Kelly and tell him let's go upstairs.

As we sat in his room, I say we need to talk and he said that I read his mind. Then a few seconds of silence. Then he asked where do I see this relationship going? And I said, well I thought it was going to be for awhile, but I realized that we wouldn't work. He said that he thought he was ready for a relationship, but realized that he wasn't. I told him that I didn't really appreciate him wasting my time and how he treated me this whole week. He was acting really immature and was really rude towards me. He appologized for acting that way and for hurting me. And I accused him of still being in love with his ex girlfriend because he would always talk about her and he confirmed he still has feelings for her but they aren't the type where he would go back to his ex. I told him I realized we wouldn't be able to work because he doesn't know what he really wants in life. I need someone who knows what he wants to do with his life. Someone who I believe will be my future. And he agreed that this is his fault and that I didn't do anything wrong and I agreed I didn't do anything wrong. I told him he needs to get his shit together if he ever wants to be in another relationship. Then he said that asking him to pick me up was so unreasonable because I was so far away. And I told him that when we were dating, he was willing to pick me up. And he said he only did that to show that he really liked me. And then he said that just because we got together doesn't mean he liked me less and then he brought up the money issue. I told him I was willing to come over to his house and I too have bills to pay. I just felt like he was making too many excuses and while we were talking Jill beeped her horn and I immediately texted her almost done. I wrapped it up by grabbing my stuff and giving his stuff too. We hugged goodbye and he said that hopefully when I'm not too angry with him we can still be friends. I told him maybe. Right now, I still miss him at times and I'm still a little angry at him. I am kinda annoyed that he wanted me to come over so he can break up with me. That's fucked up for him to make me drive all the way to his house just to break up with me. But he did treat me well until this past week. Kelly tainted his memory with all the shit he does at home, but in my heart and in my mind, he was a good boyfriend. I just met him at the wrong time. But I'm not sure if I'll be friends with him later. I tend not to keep in touch with ex boyfriends.

3 Month Curse

Wow. What a difference a week can make. Looks like I am single once again. It seems like I can't seem to get past 3 months in a relationship. I blame it on Shawn since he is 2 for 2. The last two boyfriends seem to end within a week or two right after he meets them on his birthday. I will not bring a boyfriend to his birthday next year.

It seems like my relationship with Jason changed so drastically that everyone thought I was pulling an April fools on them when I confided in them my relationship was on the rocks. Mainly because just two weeks ago, we were really affectionate towards each other at Shawn's birthday.

Last Friday, we went out to dinner with a few friends of mine and then we watched a movie at his place after. I made a mistake of telling him that I was falling for him. I didn't mean that I am necessarily in love with him. I just felt like I'm developing stronger feelings for him than I had when we initially started dating. This triggered his unusual behavior towards me.

He was supposed to come over on Sunday since I didn't come over Saturday. When I texted him after work, he said he was at his friend's house moving stuff around and won't be done til later. He will come over after if it's not too late. He texted me at the end of the day saying he's done but since it's late, we'll catch a movie on Monday after work.

So Monday comes, and I text him good morning. He mentioned it's his friend's birthday dinner and asked if I want to come. I said sure and asked for the details which he said he'd give me later. We stopped talking since I was at work. I texted him after work asking for details but no reply. So I called him around 7 and then texted him because I know dinner is at 8 but I don't know where. He texted me a half an hour later the directions and said to be there by 8. I asked him if he could pick me up and he said he couldn't, and he said, "you don't have to go, I'm just letting you know about it." That text caught me off guard. It was so rude. I was waiting in the parking lot for 45 minutes because he was late and he was acting like a jerk to me throughout dinner. I said my goodbyes to everyone and to him and told him to call me tomorrow. He jokingly said no, but he didn't call me. Our only conversation on Tuesday was me initiating the good night text.

We didn't communicate for two days. Then Thursday comes and I texted him good morning. I needed to know if I'm sleeping at his house on Friday. So I asked if he still wants me to sleep over and he said sure. So I'm excited that everything is ok with him. He was just busy. Well I was wrong. Since this is a really long story, I'll "break up" the entries. No pun intended. ;)

Just a Waste of My Time

Last weekend was our JMARCK. Academy party and at the end of the party, everyone knew I liked Leon. He's the first Asian guy I liked in a long time. Julia's whole goal of the night was to get me 'pizza' from Leon. So everyone got the hint that I liked him. The next day, Eddie asked if anything will happen with me and him and I said of course not. I tried to get his attention the whole night and it didn't go anywhere. Towards the end of the night, I was bored with him. He wasn't catching the bait I was using and I know why. He doens't like Asian bait. He's into white girls and that sucks. I feel like a black woman when the black man she likes only likes white women. What's wrong with us Asian women huh? Anyways, everyone keeps telling me you never know. He might go for me even if I'm Asian. Well all I gotta say is he lost his chance, and it's just a waste of time trying to convince him Asian women are just as beautiful as white women. And plus, he's two years younger than me. I need someone who's either almost finished with school, or is already finished. I don't need to babysit a guy. That's what marriage is for right?

Playing Telephone

It's amazing how a story can be misconstrued when so many people are telling the same story to other people. This is my life story of the game called telephone. Remember playing that when you were a kid and how the beginning story is never the same in the end? Well, yesterday my friend Jill told me the some news she heard from our friend Abbie. Remember on my birthday when my friends plotted a birthday present for me? Well, the next day I realized that he and I didn't have anything in common and I was just lusting over his physical features. Yes he's cute, but he's boring as hell. Anyways, back to the subject. Telephone. Yes. Jill told me that Mr. cute but boring told people that I was calling him after my birthday asking for closure and that I was extremely sad that he never called me back. My response? WTF?! CLOSURE?! Why would I need closure? And I've never called him even when I was attracted to him. I was pretty pissed off because I found out he also told people we slept together when we didn't. What are we? In high school? And then he tells people that I'm sad that he didn't call me and I need closure?? With me pissed off, Jill was getting fired up and was ready to beat the crap out of his lying ass. Trying to find out the whole story, Jill called Abbie again to find out more details. Apparently, Abbie heard from our friend Thuy who heard my side of the story of what happened the night of my birthday. What I told Thuy was, yes Chris and I semi-hooked up. Sorry kids, no sex was involved. I'm not one to sleep around but of course other things happened. Just use your imagination. And I told Thuy that I'm disappointed in how ungentleman-like he was acting for not even calling me to make sure I didn't wake up with a hangover or anything. Last year I met my now good friend Shawn the night of my birthday through a friend. The next day of my 22nd birthday, he made sure I was okay by calling me and I didn't know him at the time! But anyways, I'm not sure how she interpreted that story to I kept calling him after my birthday and wanted closure but that's what I get for putting my business out there. Abbie apologized to me for bringing up some drama and told me that Chris never said that. But I did find out that he's avoiding me. I'm sure it's because I didn't sleep with him. What a cowardly creep. Thank goodness for boring guys.

Immature Boys

Ok so maybe not all boys suck, but I think just the boys I seem to attract that suck. As you can tell I didn’t use ‘men’ because it seems that only immature boys do this. If we didn't have sex, don't tell everyone we did! I was not that drunk that I don't remember us having sex. It was actually me sobering up that stopped us from continuing to what would have lead to sex. This isn’t high school where you have to lie about what happened. Eventually everyone will know the truth and now everyone thinks you’re a jackass. Thanks for showing me your true colors and that I can do better then you no matter how hot you are.