Not Off To a Good Start

Wow a year has past. 2010 certainly was an interesting year. Lost a best friend, gained a new best friend, lost a grandparent, new babies (not mine), and I fell in love. With Hawaii and San Francisco that is. All these ups and downs made me want to change myself for the better. I wanted this year to be better than the last but that seemed to have failed. I started the new year with drama which caused never ending drama between me and my coworker and her friend. And also some tension started to build up between my best friend and I since she decided to disappear on me and cancel our trip to San Francisco without any explanation. I started the new year sick, and with my luck caught a nasty flu a couple weeks later. I felt like I was on my deathbed and I'm still fighting this virus after 3 weeks. I've been so medicated that all I do is sleep. And now it's hard for me to come back to society since I have no energy to do anything.

All this alone time got me thinking more, got me wishing more, and well...got me making drastic decisions without thinking it through. I've decided that I was tired of facebook and deactivated it for awhile. I got tired of seeing my coworker's pictures of her and her friends having fun without me. Just because her friend didn't approve of her ex hooking up with me, they just threw me aside and disowned me. I know, I could just block her or delete her, but I was also spending way too much time on that site for nothing. I needed to focus on my career so I decided to just quit it.

And then there's the drinking...which used to be my favorite vice until recently. I was looking back at my December with my coworker and all the drinking we did made me feel so embarrassed of my actions while intoxicated. I've been contemplating on decreasing my alcohol intake and giving it up for lent. Well, last night while hanging out with my friend, she confessed she's giving up alcohol for the year. I jumped on that and said, "I'll do it too!" What have I done?? I said I wanted to limit my drinking, not give it up completely! But hey, I can do this. Right? I just need to avoid situations that call for a cocktail. Great, I need to avoid my family for a year. All I have to do is keep thinking, "I can do this." It'll be okay. I don't need a drink to have fun. Although, last night we went to a bar after our Starbucks session, the first thing I thought of was, "ooo bar! Let's get a drink!" But I came to my senses quick and survived my first bar night...sober. This year will be an interesting year. Hopefully full of changes for the better. Here's to a new year! 2 months late, but hey. I was sick and was still stuck in 2010.