You Think You're Better Than Me?

I was telling my friend that I did some damage to my bank account over the weekend on both me and my friends. Her response? "I'm glad my friends and I are not materialistic like that where we have to give each other gifts." What?! Um, I'm sorry that your friends don't care enough for you to show how much they love and appreciate you. I told her that I'm a giving person, and she says that she gives to charity where it'll be much more appreciated. Someone isn't humble at all is she? I just think, why question someone for giving a gift. Does it matter if it's going to someone who they know or not? Does that make the person beneath you since you give to strangers? From what I remembered, she was gloating to everyone that she bought her brother a plane ticket from Hawaii to Vegas this past Christmas. Granted that's her brother, but it just seems hypocritical that she bought a huge present for someone where it could've gone to charity. She just wanted to look like a saint in front of everyone. Little do they know, she's just a bitch that disapprove of other people giving gifts. Someone needs to check themselves and realize you're not a saint after all.

Stage 4

"Stage 4." That's probably a phrase you don't ever want to hear, unless you're at Universal Stuidos looking for stage 4. But unfortunately, I was not at Universal Studios. I was eating dinner, feeling depressed for canceling my San Fransisco trip because I was sick when my mom told me that my aunt has lung cancer. I was in complete shock. It made my problem seem so minuscule all of a sudden. It didn't make any sense to me because she worked out, ate healthy, and didn't smoke. But I guess cancer didn't care about that, that sneaky little bastard.

We all had lunch at my aunt's house today and that's when I found out....it's stage 4 and it has spread to her liver. My heart is breaking right now after I saw her. She's already been affected by the cancer. She's not as bubbly and upbeat as she used to be. But we're all staying strong and hopeful. Even though it's stage 4, we will do whatever it takes to fight this. Please pray for my aunt and my family.

Not Off To a Good Start

Wow a year has past. 2010 certainly was an interesting year. Lost a best friend, gained a new best friend, lost a grandparent, new babies (not mine), and I fell in love. With Hawaii and San Francisco that is. All these ups and downs made me want to change myself for the better. I wanted this year to be better than the last but that seemed to have failed. I started the new year with drama which caused never ending drama between me and my coworker and her friend. And also some tension started to build up between my best friend and I since she decided to disappear on me and cancel our trip to San Francisco without any explanation. I started the new year sick, and with my luck caught a nasty flu a couple weeks later. I felt like I was on my deathbed and I'm still fighting this virus after 3 weeks. I've been so medicated that all I do is sleep. And now it's hard for me to come back to society since I have no energy to do anything.

All this alone time got me thinking more, got me wishing more, and well...got me making drastic decisions without thinking it through. I've decided that I was tired of facebook and deactivated it for awhile. I got tired of seeing my coworker's pictures of her and her friends having fun without me. Just because her friend didn't approve of her ex hooking up with me, they just threw me aside and disowned me. I know, I could just block her or delete her, but I was also spending way too much time on that site for nothing. I needed to focus on my career so I decided to just quit it.

And then there's the drinking...which used to be my favorite vice until recently. I was looking back at my December with my coworker and all the drinking we did made me feel so embarrassed of my actions while intoxicated. I've been contemplating on decreasing my alcohol intake and giving it up for lent. Well, last night while hanging out with my friend, she confessed she's giving up alcohol for the year. I jumped on that and said, "I'll do it too!" What have I done?? I said I wanted to limit my drinking, not give it up completely! But hey, I can do this. Right? I just need to avoid situations that call for a cocktail. Great, I need to avoid my family for a year. All I have to do is keep thinking, "I can do this." It'll be okay. I don't need a drink to have fun. Although, last night we went to a bar after our Starbucks session, the first thing I thought of was, "ooo bar! Let's get a drink!" But I came to my senses quick and survived my first bar night...sober. This year will be an interesting year. Hopefully full of changes for the better. Here's to a new year! 2 months late, but hey. I was sick and was still stuck in 2010.

Let Me Whisper to You

So I lost my voice after my friend Jill's party on Friday. I had a sore throat already, so I guess yelling the whole night to talk to people would cause me to loose my voice. So last night, I just wanted a chilled night so I went to her "twin's" birthday dinner at Firefly's. I guess I shouldn't have talked throughout the night. So now all i can do is whisper when I have to talk. I seriously have no voice at all! It sucks, but I had a wonderful weekend. Tomorrow is time for p90x!

New Year, Old Immune System

It's a new year, a new decade, but guess what? I am sick! Nothing new about that. Come to think of it, I think in 1999, I was sick coming into the new decade too. It sucks being sick, especially when I was doing so well with my working out. I had to take a week off from working out which is so discouraging. I feel like it's another setback for me and I'm just making an excuse to not working out. Even though my coworker told me to just work out, it's very difficult just standing up. My head was pounding so hard that all I could do was lay in bed and sleep. I'm praying I'll be better on Monday to start again. Aprille and I have been talking about Hawaii and I really need to get in shape for that. Cuz come one, it's Hawaii! Can't wait!

Week 1

So I decided it's time to start over with p90x. I know it's the worst time to start working out with the holidays around the corner, but I'm tired of making excuses. I'm tired of seeing parts of my body and wishing I can improve them. The only way they'll improve is if I do something about it, and that's what I'm doing. The first 3 days were extremely hard! I was so sore, that just sneezing or laughing was a huge task. But after that hurdle, it got easier. Can't wait to see how week 2 will feel. Today was actually my rest day, but I'm home alone and bored. So I ended up doing a half an hour on the treadmill. After like 15 minutes, I was getting bored so I decided instead of running I'd set the treadmill on jog and bump up the music. I ended up dance jogging on the treadmill. How the hell do you dance jog?! Well, just pretend you see someone hot across the dance floor in a club. You need to get to them, but your favorite song is playing. You wanna dance, but you wanna get to this person, so you dance towards them but add like a hop for each step you take towards them. On the treadmill of course, not on the dance floor. Unless that's how you dance. Yea, I probably looked retarded, but it was a good work out! Plus, I was at home, not at the gym. And it was definitely more fun than just running and staring at the wall. Can't wait to see results. Last time I did p90x, I started seeing results after week 5.

On another note, I can't believe Brittany Murphy is dead! Every time I saw an interview with her, she was always smiling and being all cute. I always think of her role from Clueless and her line "rollin with the homies". It's just sad to hear someone dying so young. But she is in a better place now.

My Sister's Keeper, Tear Taker

I was warned before popping in the dvd that My Sister's Keeper was such a tear jerker, but I didn't care. I wanted to stay in tonight and watch the dvd. And within minutes of it starting I was already crying. What. The. Eff!? This movie was so sad that I don't think my eyes were ever dry throughout the film. It was good though, just sad. I don't think I can watch it again. It was so emotional that I picked the wrong night to watch it. I've been experiencing massive headaches, barely sleeping through the night, and moodiness all week. I think this week took a toll on me and I'm just stressing myself out. So after having a crazy week, I watch this very emotional movie, my head is about to explode! I can't wait to relax but I don't think that will happen til February. I'm in need of a vacation, I think that's why I've been so moody lately and been cutting myself off from everyone. The past 2 vacations I took didn't even feel like vacations. After camping, I came back very sick and had deadlines to finish at work. Before and after my New York vacation, I was working tons of hours. I sometimes wish I had a regular job where we didn't do any overtime at all and I don't have to 'take home' work. Yes, my work never comes home with me, but that doesn't mean I don't think about work at home. It's really difficult to turn off my mind when I get home from a stressful day at work. I'll keep thinking about it til I sleep and then do everything over again the next day.

5k Santa Run

On Saturday was the 5k Santa Run and let me just say, it was freeeezing! And what sucked about it? We got there at 7am thinking the run was at 8am, but it was really at 10am! We all decided to go to the bookstore to warm up. So 10am comes and we're all set to run. Wow was there a lot of Santas. When were running, Veronica decided to try and hold onto Aprille's shoulders cuz we were running too fast. She ended up tripping 2 minutes after we started. Can you believe that?! We just started and we already got an injury. Anyways, we ended up walking more than running because Aprille was afraid of loosing Veronica. We ended up finishing the race at 36:52 which next year we'll beat for sure! I think next year, I'm going to dress up as Santa Waldo. I think it'll be fun dressing up as Waldo with a bunch of Santas. It just calls for a live Where's Waldo game. I can't wait til next year!