Ho Ho Ho

It's official! Aprille, Veronica, Melody, and I just signed up for the 5k Santa Run. I'm so excited and at the same time nervous. I've never ran more than one mile before so this will be a little hard but will be a great experience. I've always wanted to do a marathon, so this will be a preview to one. I've been training this week and guess what. My allergies to grass had decided to come back. Bad timing! After every run, my allergies will kick in for the next 2 days. It sucks ass!!! How the hell can I train when I can even run?? This sucks. I might end up just running on the treadmill, but that's so boring. Anywho, next weekend, we pick up our santa suits. I really can't wait!

Mean Girls

Apparently the Aprilles and I get mean when we're drunk. And when I say mean, I don't mean like picking on people mean. We were at the club XS on Friday with 2 of their guy friends while Julia was sleeping in the room. And I guess Steve witnessed me and Aprille C. push people whenever they bump into us. In our defense, we're both tiny! We get stepped on a lot cuz no one sees us so we have to defend and stick up for ourselves! I just find it funny that he said we were mean for pushing people. Like little ol' us can do any damage. And it's always the little ones that think they can do the most damage huh? But other than pushing people, we're pretty much happy go lucky drunks. Before heading to XS, we were in the room talking about how we are drunk. None of us can use fake names or phone numbers cuz it's really hard to think of something fake when we can just say the truth. And then I said, yea and I always say yes when I'm drunk. My friends turned to the guys and told them to take notes. It's not my fault it's easier to just say yes than no.

Corn "Maze"

Last night I went to a corn maze out in Moapa Valley with Karen, her boyfriend Ryan, and his coworker Ty whom they were trying to set me up with. Karen doesn't know me very well. She does not know my type at all! Oh well. I agreed to go only to see this corn maze. When we got there, Ryan ran into some of his friends. Random huh? So we all went through the maze together in mini groups. Karen and I were holding flashlights and decided to flash the creepers before they get to us by yelling "headshot!" I felt so bad when I flashed a guy in the face. I didn't mean to but he ran right into the light. This corn maze wasn't even a maze at all! There was only one way to get out. It was pretty lame, but Karen and I were able entertain ourselves by "headshooting" people. The other fun party was watching one of Ryan's friends scream bloody murder with fright. After the corn maze, we decided to go to Pahrump and hang out in the desert and tell ghost stories with Ryan's friends. We saw a few shooting stars and the whole night we kept trying to scare Shaun. It's so cute to see guys scared of these things. Even though the guy and I didn't hit it off, I still had fun.

Pizza Talk

We thought we were so sly using "pizza" to mean getting laid. Funny how a little inside joke turns into something we use all the time now. Last night people started picking up on it pretty quickly. Especially when we said Julia had pizza last night and is on number 2 now. We have no shame and will talk about anything and everything anywhere. After a night of dancing and drinking, we retired to Grand Luxe at the Venetian to eat. I brought my friend Shene with me to eat and we ended up talking about Julia's latest adventure in front of him. He said we were all cool for being really open in front of him. He said not a lot of girls talk about "pizza" especially in public. We're just different I guess.

What Would You Do?

Last night my sister threw a suite party at Caesar's Palace for her birthday. It was pretty fun. I invited 3 of my crazy friends Aprille square and Julia. We were in our own little world. We were pretty loud and hung out at the bar area just drinking our bottle of Hennessy I bought. We pretty much killed that bottle by ourselves and still didn't feel a good buzz going on. At the end of the night, Julia and I retired on the twin bed we put in the hallway away from everyone. We were trying to sleep when two of my sister's friends started fighting really loud. And this went on for a couple of hours about their relationship and in the middle of their argument, the girl screams and yells out "help!" and a door was slammed shut. Julia and I were listening to their conversation in bed trying to see if we should do something. But we decided to just sit back and see where it will go since we knew my sister and her friends were in the same area as the two people. But what would you have done when you hear a girl yell out "help!" and is trying to get away from her boyfriend?? I really wanted to step in but I wasn't sure if it was my place since I didn't know who they were. If this guy is capable of talking to his GIRLFRIEND like she's nothing and lay a hand on her, what will he do to me? And if it gets out of hand and he leaves, what will he do to her when they meet up later and no one is around? So our decision was to let them yell it out unless something actually does happen. But because of that incident, I couldn't sleep the rest of my stay. I ended up taking an hour nap when I got home this afternoon. Throughout the night I was texting ARod telling her some drama is happening and that I couldn't sleep. She would call and text to make sure we're ok until I was able to sleep when I got home. What a great friend and September is surely an exhausting month!

PS. Nessa if you're reading this, don't mention this to my sister. When we were cleaning up this morning, I asked what happened, she seemed like she didn't want to talk about it. Ok. Thanks! :)

NY Trip in a Nutshell

Delayed flight going to New York by 30 minutes. Broke a light bulb cover in the New Yorker Hotel. May flushing her phone in the toilet, 130 dollars to ship to NY the next day. I lost my metro card, another $27. Missed flight and having to cancel birthday party, $419 for a new ticket for May. Knowing the ex boyfriend was at the party. Worth it.

Okay, so that's just all the bad luck that happened to us. But the whole trip was worth all the bad luck. We were able to see almost everything New York has to offer. The first day we went around Time Square and Grand Central Station. Walked around Manhattan trying to take in everything and realizing we were actually in New York.

The second day we went to the Natural History Museum and saw Wicked! Oh my God! I LOVE Wicked! I think the actress who played the good witch Glinda made the show better. She was just so crazy and hilarious. We even visited St. Patrick's Cathedral. That church is so beautiful and gothic. The architecture in New York was really something. It was nice to see different types of buildings unlike here in Vegas, where everything is new. Later that night, we ended up bar hopping because we wanted to go dancing. I was sad it was the only time we partied but then again, we were in New York to be tourists. After walking all day, all you want to do at night is relax and not walk.

The third day, Shawn's sister Vahlen took us around Lower Manhattan. I hated this day because of all the walking we did. We barely rested but if we wanted to see everything, we couldn't rest. She took us around Soho, the village, the Meatpacking District, and the Brooklyn Bridge. We saw the Statue of Liberty from afar at night. I was sad we didn't get to see her up close and personal but that just means I have to come back.

The fourth day, we went to the MET, Central Park, and lots of Gossip Girl sites. My friend Rei is obsessed with Gossip Girl so we went to a lot of their sites. But Central Park is so beautiful. We rowed a boat in the lake. It was very nerve racking because that water was nasty and May kept moving. But it was fun! While Rei and I watched West Side Story later that night, May went to a tanning salon and laid out.

Our last night, we all woke up around 5am to pack our stuff and check out by 7am. We wanted to get a head start on our last day in New York. We left our luggage in the hotel storage and went to Lower Manhattan to do some shopping and went to MoMA. By the time we got to the hotel, we had to rush to the subway so we can get to the airport. What we didn't know was, some subway routes were closed for repairs so EVERYONE and their mama were at this particular subway. And to top it all off, it took 30 minutes for a subway to get to us and it stopped at every stop. By the time we get to the airport, they are boarding already. We couldn't board since we had baggage and they wouldn't let us check it in anymore. May had work the next day, so she went to JetBlue and bought another ticket to go home an hour later. Rei and I decided to check in our luggage at the airport storage and cruise around New York one last time. What we didn't realize was, we couldn't really do anything since lots of places close early. So we ate and wandered around all of New York through the subway. We ended up people watching at Time Square til 5am and ended up at the Tick Tock Diner and tried to stay awake. I later found out my sister and two good friends were partying without me at the place I was going to throw my party. It made me sad. That and watching people roll in the diner all dressed up after partying craving greasy food after a night of drinking. We ended up going back to the airport around 7am and we tried to take a nap on the benches in the airport. But I think I ended up sleeping for a half an hour. What an adventure right? It was. It made for a good story, but the best part of it was, I was in New York. Next adventure? Who knows. Aprille wants to go to Hawaii next year. We shall see.

Our postcard from the Brooklyn Bridge. Isn't it beautiful. "Wish you were here!"

2 Person Kickback

Last week, my friend Jeff IMed me on Facebook. I haven't seen him since college but we'd talk every now and then through Facebook. So when he IMed me, I teased him he never invites me to see his new house yet. So he invited me to come over right then and there. I told him I couldn't since I've been working 12 plus hours that night and all I want to do is relax at home. I figured he lived too far anyways. So he said to come over on the weekend. The weekend comes and he texts me asking if I'm still coming over. I thought he was having a few friends over to have a kickback. Nope. It was just him and me hanging out. We ended up watching football for a few minutes with him explaining me some of the rules. I kind of got into it, but not so much where I wanted to watch a whole game. He noticed I was bored so he pointed to a couple of blue rays he borrowed. I ended up picking National Treasure 2 which by the way was kind of boring. It's no wonder I never finished that movie. I think I've tried watching it twice and fell asleep both times. Anyways, while we were watching the movie, he would touch my leg and slowly go towards my hand. It was so cute. But it kind of caught me off guard. He did kiss my hand a few times which REALLY caught me off guard. I started to feel tired since I spent the whole day shopping. Yes, shopping is tiring! So after the movie ended, I got up and said I should go home now. If he liked me, I think I pretty much blew it right there. I should have at least stayed a little bit to see where he wanted to go. But all I thought about was, wow it's late and I have to wake up at 9am for church. Sigh....oh well. I'll get em next time!

Early Bday Present

I turned 25 a few weeks early. Last Saturday, my friend Jill threw me a surprise birthday scavenger hunt around Town Square and a surprise dinner with some close friends. And everyone was in on it. About a month ago, she asked if we can have a jmarck. dinner before Rei and I leave for New York. I was wondering why she wanted to have dinner with us as if we were never coming back. So on Saturday, she asked me to come early so we can go shopping before dinner. I meet her and Abbie and she hands me a birthday card with a piece of paper included.

After reading the paper, the first thing that came out of my mouth was. "What?! We're not eating?? I'm hungry!" I was seriously sad we weren't eating, but then I realized what was going on and agreed to go on the scavenger hunt.

Rei: Clue #1 - I obviously luv movies, and I’m sure u do too. So take a pic of the current movie most appealing to u.

Friend #2 helps those who heal, yet shes always sick, even more than you?!

Aprille: Clue #2 – Ur next destination is where we party at the most. Go there and take a pic of one of the hosts. OR U can shop at a particular store that carries all ur SECRETS and a lil bit more ;)
Friend #3 is our friend from afar and she knows how to party it up like a ROCK STAR!

Angela: Law school sucks that’s the clue. JK! Clue #3 – Ur next picture reminds me of alcohol. Care for a wild turkey or vodka redBULL? I def need a drink! All these law BOOKS r driving me crazy! Wanna help me read one?
Friend #4 is a huge BITCH SLUT!! But we love her anyway =]

Ann: Clue #4-Hey Tiny Tanks! U must have the smallest bladder in the world! I bet u need to go right now, dont u? BATHROOM PIC! OR Use some of that $ and buy urself an outfit at one of ur fav Euro stores
Friend #5 is ur coolest and prettiest friend ever!!! =]

Jill: Clue #5 – Your last task is to take a pic of one of my favorite animals. I luv them so much, I have TWO! OR Use the rest of ur $ and buy urself ur first bday shot on me!

Wasting time til I get the next clue at the LV sign. This is my first time here..crazy huh?

Next clue:
Jill: In this city full of sin u will magically find a place close to paradise, full of tropical DRINKS and plenty of food and the entertainers will put u in a good mood. But first u must travel to a place filled w crooks and wenches…right in ur field. Tell rei ur answer and he will take u there if ur right =] off to TI!

Kathrina: Now that you’re in TI, take a photo by the place where the sirens sing in front of your face.
Before I met up with Jill, Rei and I were outside TI getting a drink. He bought me a drink cuz he said it'll be more fun if I was more loose and buzzed. I got nervous thinking what's going to happen next. What is Jill going to have me do?? And he reassured me it was nothing bad. We meet up with Jill at Starbucks and she walks me to Kahunaville.

SURPRISE! Everyone was waiting for me at Kahunaville.

What a surprise! Everyone was waiting for me to finish my scavenger hunt so they can get me drunk. And boy did they. But at least I was able to eat first. The food was good and the company was the best. I have the greatest friends. Especially these.

Truth Be Told

I grew tired a long time ago. Tired of asking you two to hang out all the time and then flaking on me. Glad Rei finally realized that you two aren't that great at all. Friendships are just like relationships. They are a two way street and if you are not going out of your way to stay friends with us, then why should we keep trying? Friends don't constantly flake on friends. We used to be called jmarck. because we all had a few things in common and we all liked to hang out with each other. We'd have jmarck. themed parties and all our friends would look forward to them. Now it's more like jmar. I was talking to Eddie the other night and we were talking about how Kathrina has been acting different lately. I hated hearing him say that Kathrina would say how she doesn't need to hang out with us cuz you can still make 'jmarck.' without the 'k'. It's not about making the word 'jmarck.', it was about hanging out! That just pissed me off. And you know what? We don't need you if you don't want to be around us. It was so awkward seeing Carla the other night at Rei's house. She barely even said hi to me. I used to cut her lots of slack but I'm just tired of trying and actually I think everyone is. It's ok, they say as you grow older, your circle of friends grows smaller because you learn who to trust and who were just not a true friend. So I'm not mourning our friendships' demise because truth be told, we really weren't friends, we were just really good aquaintances and now we're just moving on with our lives to the next person we meet.

She Loves Me

I have the bestest friend ever. Last night was my friend Abbie's birthday. After drinking and dancing the night away. We felt we were getting old because we were tired at 2am so we decided to start up our end of the night tradition of clubbing. We ate steak and eggs at Terrible's Casino. We all drove our own cars and while I was talking to Ann on the phone at a stop light, I got freaked out and screamed when someone started knocking at my window. After focusing on who it was, I was relieved it was Jill. She put her car on park behind me while waiting for the light and ran to my car to give me water. She said "I thought you'd be thirsty even though we're minutes away from getting food." She knows I'm always thirsty and thought she'd bring me some water in the street. Even though her feet was hurting, she took the time to run to my car and give me water. Isn't that awesome?? She's the greatest and I love her.

New York Here I Come!

I'm super excited! I booked my flight tickets and hotel for my birthday trip to New York. I'm leaving September 1st and coming back September 5th. 5 days and 4 nights for less than 600 bucks in Manhattan. That's a freaking steal! I still wish I went to the Bahamas but I've always wanted to go to New York so I'm still excited. I'm watching Cash Cab right now and I secretly hope I get into a cab with this guy. It looks so fun! I'm going to NYC with Rei and May. I don't know May that well but I'm sure it'll be fun either way. When I went to Mexico with Aprille and Julia, we weren't close friends. But after the trip, we all became great friends and travel buddies. I have so many places I want to see and do, so hopefully I get to see and do them. So for 2 months, I'll just have to look at this picture and wait to take my own. And it'll go by really fast since I'll be really busy at work doing over time. I have a September 1st deadline. So once I submit my game, I'm gone. I told my boss that if anything goes wrong, I'll be on vacation.

You Didn't Go to Mine, So Why Do I Have to Go to Yours?

I've created a monster 3 years ago. 3 years ago, my friend from junior high broke up with her boyfriend of like 5 years. I felt bad for Bobby because he was so depressed. So 3 years ago, I was all about clubbing all the time. Every weekend, I was dancing and drinking the night away. I brought Bobby with me a few times since he never went clubbing before. He fell in love with both clubbing and me, and only one of us returned their love. Can you guess it wasn't me? And from then on, he's been clubbing EVERYDAY. I have no idea how he does it. I'm told he still has his pharmacy tech job. How does he have the energy and money to still be clubbing this much? And since then, he's been all about partying. His birthday is no exception. Every year, he's been celebrating his birthday for a whole week. Who does that?! Who has the time to do that? Anyways, he keeps advertising it on facebook, myspace, and through texts. It's so annoying. He wants us to come and celebrate his birthday all week, but Jill and I realized on Friday that he never comes to our birthdays. How fair is that?? So on Friday, we were all trying to decide what to do after dinner, and none of us wanted to go clubbing with him. He just doesn't make it appealing anymore. With all the constant updates and reminders, it just sounds more like a chore then a celebration. Oh well. Happy birthday anyways Bobby.

I'm Just Not That Into Him

I can go a long time without talking to him. Even thinking about him. I guess I'm just not that into him anymore. And in the beginning when I realized this, I felt bad. Mainly because I thought he was really into me. But I think we've come to a mutual understanding without having the awkward "I like you but not like like you" talk. He doesn't call me anymore. He texts me on the weekends when he's already out. I'm relieved. I think ever since he got sent to jail for DUI, my attraction for him diminished. I wasn't trying to be judgmental because a lot of my friends and I have driven when we shouldn't have. I'm not proud of myself that I can admit to driving while under the influence. I thank God that nothing happened. Ever since PJ passed away last year, I'm more aware as how capable I am of driving after a night of drinking. There were a couple of times where I wasn't able to hold my liqueur but I have great friends to drive me home. It was the fact that this was his second time running in with the law and both times he firmly believed he wasn't in the wrong. When he point blank said the cops should have just let him with a warning turned me off. It showed that he doesn't take responsibilities for his actions and can't admit when he's wrong. So I shall be moving on with the next guy. Who's next in line? Just kidding! I think I'll enjoy singlehood. I like just hanging out with whoever I want and not having to be half there with the company. Everytime I'm dating someone, I'm always busy texting them while I'm hanging out with friends. So for now, my friends can have my full attention.

Bridal Shower Ideas

What do you buy a bride who is extremely conservative and religious? My friend from college is getting married and I got an invitation from her sister to attend her bridal shower. I want to go but at the same time, I'll feel so out of place. First of all, we have different beliefs. So while I'm over there, I'll have to pray with them. I won't really know anyone. The friend(s) that will be there, I don't talk to anymore. So not sure what I'll do. Maybe I'll just go to the wedding. It's not like we're close anymore. I haven't really seen her in years. I think the last time I saw her, she was leaving Vegas for Berkley.

I'm Dating a Jailbird

All day yesterday I was texting him and was wondering why he didn't text back. He usually texts back within a couple of hours unless he was somewhere he didn't have reception. He left me a voice mail last night while I was getting ready to go to Yard House. He said that he had a story to tell me. I wonder what that story was so I called him while I was getting dressed.

M: Hey. What's up? What's the story?
H: I just got out of jail.
M: What?! Uh. What happened?

Apparently he was partying all night Saturday night and sun rising Sunday he was going home on the 215 driving 5 mph over the speed limit when he got pulled over. The cop asked if he's been drinking and he said yea but the last drink I had was at midnight. So he was asked to step out of the car and was taken to jail. The legal limit is .080 and he blew a .082. He was complaining to me that the cop was overreacting and he should have just let him go since he was near his house. And I had to rationalize it to him that the cop was just doing his job and if he did let him go and something happened it would be the cop's fault. Yea the cop was a bit anal for pulling you over for just going over 5 mph but maybe he saw something else. Maybe you were swerving and you didn't know? I don't understand how people will make mistakes and when a cop turns them in, it's the cop's fault. They're just doing their job! So now he has a DUI on his record. And honestly, it's turning me off a little. Aprille and I were talking last night and we confessed to driving while being really buzzed that once we get home, we wonder how did we get home. But we don't do that anymore. I know my limit, and I will not drive if I can't. And when I drink, I will drive overly responsible. Last night, I had 2 drinks and 2 shots. Driving home, I saw about 5 cops. I drove the speed limit. I signaled for every turn. I didn't switch lanes too much. I got home safe without getting pulled over. And just be smart about it. It's a 3 day weekend, you should know that there will be LOTS of cops out there during the holidays. So maybe CJ was right last night. He was pretty drunk and "Just a Friend" was playing. So he kept singing it to me asking if he is just a friend. Maybe it will be better if he and I just stay friends. But who knows what will happen.

Our First Fight

Well, technically it wasn't really a fight. It was more of Jill's annoyance with me. She asked me if I wanted to go to the San Gennaro Feast with her and our friends. I told her no since I'll be going with Keoni on Friday. And she was like, wow when did this happened? And I told her that I've been hanging out with him since Sunday and she got mad that I never told her. She said I always do that. I always tell her important things late and she felt that she's not that important for me to tell her as soon as things happen. I felt so bad because I realized that I do tell her important things after I see the effects. I appoligized but reassured her that she is the first person I tell things. I just tell her later because I'm in my own little world that I like to soak in what just happened before telling people. I told her I'm going to work on that because she is important to me and she always tells me everything as soon as possible when things happen to her. Friendships and relationships are a two way street and I should start stepping up and do my part.

On another note. I don't understand why some people don't let me catch a break. Why is it that people are allowed to say no to me, but when I say no, they give me grief for it and try to make me feel guilty? I understand when people say they can't come out at night because of work, but when I say I have work, I'm told that they won't go out with me the next time I invite them out. There have been many times where people will either tell me know they can't go or they'll say they'll go and just not show up. What do I do? I forgive them and just say we'll catch up next time. You try sitting in front of a computer for 9 hours a day and you'll know why I need my sleep. It sucks being a grown up but everyone's gotta do it. I just had to do it sooner than everyone else.

Conspicuously Flirting

Jill sent me a text today saying her friend Keoni is now single! I told her awhile back that I thought he was cute based on his picture on his facebook. But she told me he was on and off with his girlfriend. And I told her that I wasn't looking for a relationship since I just got out of one. I just thought he was cute. I finally met him on Saturday for my friend's birthday and we instantly started a conversation about tennis since he and Jill play tennis once in awhile. I told Jill that we were talking at Risque for a little bit, but I was more focused on hanging out with Steve. And she said that she wished she went to Risque to watch me flirt with Keoni because she finds it amusing how I'm so obvious when I flirt. She told me that she and Ann had fun watching me obviously flirt with Steve the weekend before. I should work on being inconspicuous with my flirting ways. But what sometimes gets me is when I'm not flirting, I come off as being a flirt. It's just the way I talk to people. I get into the conversation sometimes that I tend to touch the person whom I'm talking to. But there was no flirting with Keoni that night. Just making conversation with him and I found him a really nice and funny guy. So who knows what will happen.

I'm Not the Same...Yet

I really don't understand how Jason could have this much affect on me. I've been so down lately since the breakup that everyone are noticing that I'm not the bubbly upbeat person anymore. Not everyone at work knows what happened so they'll come up to me and ask me to smile or if I'm ok. Which makes it worst for me cuz I have to put on a smile and say 'yea everything is fine.' I'm trying to be the same person I was before I met Jason and while I was with him, but I can't. I just woke up this morning angry because I had a dream about him where it was like the night we had dinner and he was a total douche bag towards me. I thought I've moved on but I guess I got hurt more than I realized. I have the best friends who will keep me company and ask me how I'm doing and try to cheer me up. I'm greatful for them. Well, it has only been a week since we've broken up so I guess I'm asking too much of myself to get over him already. People keep telling me it takes about half the time we were together to get over someone. So am I supposed to feel crappy for a month and a half? I hate this transition.

It's a No Go

So I decided to cancel my offer for the house. Jill told me the day I was going to sign the papers she couldn't be my roommate anymore. She talked to her mom and her mom begged her to stay at home. Her mom is going through empty nest syndrome and I don't blame her. But sometimes it's best to just let go. I know my parents were getting sad when I said I wanted to move out, but they were really supportive. I still could have moved out, but I didn't feel like living for my house. Living by myself meant I wouldn't be keeping my lifestyle. No more taking vacations whenever I want to. No more splurging on myself whenever I feel like it. I felt so bad too for having to cancel the offer because Amy had came in the office early to fill out my paperwork. She was so nice and patient with me that I felt so bad telling her 2 hours before meeting her I couldn't take the house. This house was perfect for me. It wasn't my first choice but my first choice was made for me with my future family. My first house with my family, I'll definitely have a casita. But this house, it was perfect for a single young woman. It was 1600 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms and 1 den. It had upgraded flooring to tiles and had surround sound speakers built in. Oh well. It's a sign that I just still need to save up. I still need some traveling to do and meet the one. Maybe he'll buy me my first house. Just being hopeful.

The Break Up

Thursday night, Angela and Jill both three wayed me and I knew instantly something was up. Apparently my suspicions were correct. Jason told Matt that he was going to break up with me this weekend and Kelly overheard him and told Angela who then told Jill and me. I was told that Jason doesn't want to be serious with me. Which got me confused because he was the one who chased me for 2 weeks and asked me to be his girlfriend right away. I was the one who asked him to slow down because I felt like we were moving too fast. And I was also told that the only reason why he asked me to be his girlfriend right away was so I wouldn't sleep with anyone else. How selfish and immature is that? He wasted my time and played with my emotions. He told me he was a relationship guy and doesn't like to date around. He should just stick to dating casually then. I was so angry and heartbroken when I heard this that after I got off the phone with them, I texted Kelly for more answers. And she told me that he is really selfish and immature and she hates him. She is glad that I won't be dating him anymore.

So Friday comes along, and the plan was to go clubbing at Jet and break it off with Jason right after. Jill and I rode together since I asked if I could spend the night at her house. I thought that I would be too devastated to drive all the way home by myself. So her whole goal was to get me good and drunk that night. But I decided that it would be best for me not to so I won't get too emotional. I had a good time hanging out with everyone. The only reason why I agreed to come out was because Tiff was in town from Hawaii. We decided to go to Ellis Island after clubbing to hang out for a bit and while I was there, Jason keeps texting and calling me. Asking how was the club and that he was going home already. As he texted me, I was asking Kelly what's going on at home. She was telling me when he got home and what he was doing. I decided to not answer him and let him wait. He left me hanging all week by not talking to me, so why talk to him right?

Around 2:30 am, we decided to just get it done with. Jill and Tiff dropped me off and waited outside. I told them I'll only take ten minutes. So I grab my bag with me so he thinks I don't know we're breaking up. I called him to let me in and he said he kept calling me. And I said, yea I know. I was busy talking to my friends. I get in the house and quickly say hi to Matt and Kelly and tell him let's go upstairs.

As we sat in his room, I say we need to talk and he said that I read his mind. Then a few seconds of silence. Then he asked where do I see this relationship going? And I said, well I thought it was going to be for awhile, but I realized that we wouldn't work. He said that he thought he was ready for a relationship, but realized that he wasn't. I told him that I didn't really appreciate him wasting my time and how he treated me this whole week. He was acting really immature and was really rude towards me. He appologized for acting that way and for hurting me. And I accused him of still being in love with his ex girlfriend because he would always talk about her and he confirmed he still has feelings for her but they aren't the type where he would go back to his ex. I told him I realized we wouldn't be able to work because he doesn't know what he really wants in life. I need someone who knows what he wants to do with his life. Someone who I believe will be my future. And he agreed that this is his fault and that I didn't do anything wrong and I agreed I didn't do anything wrong. I told him he needs to get his shit together if he ever wants to be in another relationship. Then he said that asking him to pick me up was so unreasonable because I was so far away. And I told him that when we were dating, he was willing to pick me up. And he said he only did that to show that he really liked me. And then he said that just because we got together doesn't mean he liked me less and then he brought up the money issue. I told him I was willing to come over to his house and I too have bills to pay. I just felt like he was making too many excuses and while we were talking Jill beeped her horn and I immediately texted her almost done. I wrapped it up by grabbing my stuff and giving his stuff too. We hugged goodbye and he said that hopefully when I'm not too angry with him we can still be friends. I told him maybe. Right now, I still miss him at times and I'm still a little angry at him. I am kinda annoyed that he wanted me to come over so he can break up with me. That's fucked up for him to make me drive all the way to his house just to break up with me. But he did treat me well until this past week. Kelly tainted his memory with all the shit he does at home, but in my heart and in my mind, he was a good boyfriend. I just met him at the wrong time. But I'm not sure if I'll be friends with him later. I tend not to keep in touch with ex boyfriends.