I'm Tired!

September is such a popular month for birthdays! Every week since the beginning of the month there have been at least two people I know who has a birthday to celebrate. And guess what, I'm exhausted! It's been fun, but I'm ready to hibernate for awhile. I know, I know, my twenties are suppose to be the most exciting time of my life where I push my body to its limits and go out and party all the time and waking up the next day in pain from the choices I made from the night before signifies that I had an awesome night. I guess this is why a lot of people don't finish college until they are in their mid 20s since their education takes a back seat to the indulgence of alcohol. I guess I’ve reached my body’s limit and I’ve been feeling exhausted lately. All last week, I was excited to go home to do nothing but watch tv and sleep at 9:30. I guess everyone goes through a homebody phase and just wants to do nothing but hangout at home and watch movies on the couch snuggled up under a warm blanket. My friends say it’s the changing weather, but I know my body. It’s exhausted and I need a break. So for now, after this weekend*, I’m taking a break. If I do go out I'll want to be home by midnight. Something I haven't done in years, but I think it's needed. And it will also help me cut back on my alcohol consumption. I'm trying to decrease my tolerance so I don't need to have 5 drinks just to get a buzz. Shocking how a tiny Asian chick can drink so much huh? Alright nightlife, see you later until my body rejuvenates itself!

* I say after this weekend because I already agreed to have a girl’s night out with my girlfriends. I couldn't say no to free tickets to Beacher’s Madhouse. And plus, I have to end my partying month on a high note, it’s only fair for my body.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

Me: Hi sweetie, what's your name?
Kid: Carla. What's your name?
Me: I'm Monica.
Kid: Where's your hunnie?
Me: Whaaat? I don't have a hunnie.

It's so cute hearing a 5 year old girl ask me where my hunnie is. You don't realize how much kids can pick up just by hearing you talk to your friends in front of them until they use it against you.

You Got Caked!

My sister and I celebrated our birthdays together on Saturday. It was a nice afternoon with lots of food, family, and close friends. What I didn't expect was getting caked. My friends used my own weakness against me, taking pictures. I love getting my picture taken and so my friend JenJen said that she wanted to take a picture of the two birthday girls. She had the camera ready but she paused for a second. Then the countdown began. Oooooone. Twwoooooo. Threeeeee. Then Bam! My sister and I both got cake in our faces and it was all captured on camera. My mom was already use to our friends caking each other that all she did was get the dust pan and cleaned up the cake on the floor like it was nothing. I have to admit, it was a good plan. All the years I've known them, they finally got me. Good job! Just watch out on your birthdays because you know how the saying goes. "Paybacks a bitch!"

Are You Interested?

Sinn: You remember my friend Moses?
Me: Vaguely. Why?
Sinn: He has the hots for you. You interested?
Me: No
Sinn: He's really nice.
Me: No
Sinn: He's really sweet and can treat you really nice, but he kinda has extra baggage.
Me: Hell no

I will never ask my friend to set me up if he thinks I want a guy with extra baggage. I'm not that desperate!

Immature Boys

Ok so maybe not all boys suck, but I think just the boys I seem to attract that suck. As you can tell I didn’t use ‘men’ because it seems that only immature boys do this. If we didn't have sex, don't tell everyone we did! I was not that drunk that I don't remember us having sex. It was actually me sobering up that stopped us from continuing to what would have lead to sex. This isn’t high school where you have to lie about what happened. Eventually everyone will know the truth and now everyone thinks you’re a jackass. Thanks for showing me your true colors and that I can do better then you no matter how hot you are.

Birthday Weekend

Last night a couple of my friends and I decided to celebrate my birthday once more. We went to melting pot and ate some chocolate fondue. It was good but too sweet for me. I drank about 3 glasses of water to cut down the sweetness. Then we went to a nearby bar and we literally went around the building looking for the entrance. We parked right near the entrance but for some reason we missed the gigantic door. I guess we were too busy talking that we weren't paying attention. Or maybe we were distracted by the lamest pick up line. This guy was driving by and yelled 'ay bay bay' at us. We pretty much just walked away and laughed while he kept trying to get our attention. Seriously, are we still in high school? Think before opening your mouth.

Then we were off to a house party for my friend Bailey's 22nd birthday. At first I didn't want to go to the party because I don't know that many people there and I was with my friend Angela and she doesn't know anyone there. I didn't want her to feel awkward with a bunch of strangers. When I walked in, a lot of people looked familiar. I've met a lot of them at least once but I just didn't know their names which was funny because they knew my name. But last night, lots of juicy gossip was being spread around about Andrew, the last guy I dated. That punk ass is a little bitch. He's so whooped that it's amusing to us. He's such a gold digger that he doesn't realize that he's sacrificing his manhood for money. But I guess that works both ways. When women are gold diggers, they do whatever it takes to keep the man happy in order to get whatever she wants. Where are all the decent people in the world nowadays?

Third Times a Charm

Happy Birthday to me! Yesterday I celebrated my 21st birthday for the 3rd time. I can't believe I'm 23 already. And guess what! This time I didn't throw up and I remember everything. 3rd times a charm! I told everyone I wanted to remember this birthday so they helped me get that nice buzz and kept me hydrated. They knew when I had hit my limit and made sure I didn't drink anymore until I started sobering up and then gave me another drink. The only thing I don't remember is how much I drank. My friend Angela said when she saw me, I had about 5 drinks and I know I had a few more before I saw her. My friends are so awesome. And their birthday present for me? They had this guy I was crushing on make out with me. Thanks guys. Planning things behind my back. Buuuuut I'm not complaining.

Promotions Are For Losers

Today was my yearly review at work. Last year I didn't do so well only because I was new to the company and they didn't have much to base the review on. So a year has passed and my boss had a lot to say about me. He believes that even though I'm still a junior engineer, he considers me the leader of our department of 4 people. He says that my personality is really laid back but also professional when I need to be. I'm always calm and I can explain issues thoroughly so everyone can understand how to fix them.

So how did my review go? My average was a 4.05/5 which was pretty good compared to last year, but not good enough for a promotion. My boss said that since there's only 3 of us, he can only promote one person and it's not my year. He assured me that next year will be my year and that he'll fight for a big promotion. Riiiight. I'll believe that when I see my paycheck. He was calculating some random numbers on his calculator and according to his calculations, next year I'll be making 12k more. That doesn't sound right does it? I think he miscalculated from the pressure of doing simple math in front of me. But I better get a raise next year or else I'm quiting! It makes sense though right? You can't be at a company for 3 years and not get promoted. Especially when your boss says you're doing an excellent job. He constantly praises me yet no promotion. So if next year is not my year, I'm sure I can find different job where I can climb the ladder within a year. And if I make 12k more, that would be awesome.

Anonymity

I've decided to remove my picture for now just in case my work finds my blog. I don't want to make my blog private, for that one reader I have out there. But I don't want my work to see that I've been writing during work hours. Hey, I've read that most Americans pretty much slack at work and surf the net during work hours. They were able to find my myspace when I first started work so that's now private. There's no privacy anymore!

A Bad Side of Town

You know you're in the ghetto when you're in the parking lot saying bye to your friends when a helicopter above you is circling the building right next to you with a spotlight focused on God only knows what. My friends and I were leaving a bar and we were just hanging out in the parking lot. You know how it is. Saying goodbye takes a good 30 minutes when you’re with good friends. And those goodbyes also include taking pictures. In the middle of our picture taking session, we hear a helicopter come and we think it’s just passing by. Nope, it stayed near us and started circling Crystal Palace, an indoor skating rink. We hurry up and take our pictures together and said our goodbyes because if there was any type of criminal activity going on, we don’t want to get caught in the middle. The only upside of a criminal activity is we can have our 5 minutes of fame and get on the local news. Other then that, the thought of any crime at night in the middle of the ghetto is not too appealing. When half of my friends leave, the other half and I tried to decide what to do for the rest of the night. Come on, it’s 1:30am and it’s too early to head home. As we’re discussing where to go, a cop in a SUV pulls into the parking lot. To me, a helicopter and a cop in a SUV pretty much means that everyone should leave right away and that’s what we did.

My First Country Bar

My friend Monica celebrated her birthday a few days early last night at Dylan’s, a country bar. Yea we have the same name, and our birthdays are pretty close together. But anyways, when she told me we were going there, I automatically said, ‘I’ve never been to a country bar.’ In her evil voice she said, ‘Nice. We’re going to make you line dance!’ It might be the Asian in me, or I might just be deprived from the country scene, but I asked, ‘What’s line dancing?’ But then I realized that I might know what line dancing was. I confirmed with her that the electric slide is indeed line dancing and that is the only one I know (which they didn’t play!)

We’re sitting at the bar listening to country music and watching people line dance when Monica kept looking at her watch. I asked if she’s checking what time it is so she can leave soon. And she said she’s waiting for midnight because they play hip hop. HIP HOP?! Yea don’t get too excited. They played two hip hop songs which were a few years old. Apparently, if they play hip hop, the DJ gets charged 100 bucks each song he plays. So we head to the dance floor dancing when after the second song, they go back to country with a ‘simple’ line dance. Monica’s friend Judith was teaching me and after awhile I got the hang of it. Off the dance floor Monica felt accomplished to have the Asian girl who’s never stepped in a country bar line dance. Then this one song came on where they tell you what to do. I think it’s like a new version of the electric slide. That was my favorite because I just had to listen to the song. Seeing people try not to pull a muscle while trying to stay on that mechanical bull was quite amusing. Overall, it was a nice experience but I don’t think I’ll be visiting anytime soon. At least I can say I’ve been to a country bar and I've line danced.

The Other Side of Me

It’s funny how everyone will only show certain sides of their personalities to certain people. Last night I was at E-bar with some friends when we were talking about what I do for a living.

Esther: What do you actually do for a living?
Me: I’m a software release engineer, also known as being in cubicle hell.
Esther: I can’t picture you as an engineer. The Monica I know is a drinker and a partier.
Me: I do other things besides drinking and partying, you know!
Esther: I know, but to me, engineering and Monica do not mix.

I guess it’s because a lot of my friends are still in college that it’s hard to believe that I actually have a grown up job. Well, a job that I can probably call a career but I don’t. A career just sounds too grown up for me and I’m everything but that, a grown up. I’m not ready to leave behind my childhood just yet.

Internet Redneck Style

This has got to be the craziest thing ever. Type in a web address and the website translate the whole site in whatever slang you choose. My favorite is the redneck.

Making the internet Redneck friendly

A Date?

So…I think I have a date tomorrow. I met this guy through a friend about a year and a half ago and ever since then, he’s been trying to get my friend to hook us up. After being unsuccessful for about 3 months, he gave up. I was just not attracted to him and I have way too many walls up to give him a chance. We talked every now and then about random stuff through myspace but that’s about it…until last week. He messaged me asking if I wanted to hang out with his friends because it was someone’s birthday. I made an excuse saying I was too tired from my vacation to do anything. Well it wasn’t really an excuse. I was genuinely tired. I barely slept while I was in California. Then he said, one day we are going to have dinner because you’ll run out of excuses. So I felt bad so I said I’ll have dinner with him on Friday if I don’t do overtime at work. I’ve been told that in order to find the right guy, you should give everyone a chance (everyone as in both guys and girls? Not sure if this person knows I only swing one way...towards men). So I figured, why not give him a chance and get free dinner while I’m at it. Awesome deal!

I'm Moving!

I'm moving....not homes, but cubicles. Actually, my cubicle is practically my home. I’ve been working more hours ever since I got back from vacation. Smart move boss! You gave me a vacation to replenish myself from being overworked just to overwork me when I get back from vacation. Nice. I wish I wasn’t salaried so overtime would mean extra money. Anyway, back to moving. My boss told our department that we’re hiring both people we interviewed. Yes, the boring girl and the hot guy. O la la. Now I can actually look forward to going to work. The new girl will take my cube and I’ll be moved to a different cubical with the hot guy near me. Work life can’t get any better then this. Well, maybe less overtime and a raise, but we all can’t get everything we want right?

That's What Family Is For

Me: I hear you're coming down for my birthday!
Karizsa: Yea!
Me: What time will be you in Vegas?
Karizsa: I'll be there late, like 2am late.
Me: I'll be gone by then. Not gone as in leaving the club, I mean I'll be drunk by then.
Karizsa: It's ok, I'll hold back your hair for you while you throw up.
Me: You will?
Karizsa: Duh! That's what family is for.

I love my family. I'm glad my cousins will be in town for my birthday. I'll feel complete.

That's Going To Bruise.

It was dinner time and I felt lazy to wash dishes because I was extremely hot from running around the park. I suggested to my mom that we use paper plates instead of dishes so I don't have to wash the dishes. As I searched the pantry for the paper plates, I overlooked how close I was to the gigantic thermos we use when we go on picnics. It probably holds a gallon of water and it’s pretty big. Next thing I know, I feel excruciating pain shoot up my foot and telling my brain that the thermos just fell on my foot, thus signaling my mouth to yell out loud. As I limp into the kitchen with paper plates in my hand, my mom asked what happened. I told my mom that the thermos fell on my foot and you know what she asked me?

“Did you break it?”

I was expecting some sympathy since it hurt so bad that I was limping. But I didn't even get an, ‘are you ok?’ Nope! She was more concerned about the thermos. Thanks for showing me you cared mother. Pfff! I'm going to have one bruise tomorrow! Now is not a good time to be bruising since my birthday is coming up. Showing off my new tan with bruises is gonna look hot right?!

God Must Be Angry

Remember when you were a kid and a thunderstorm came, your mom would tell you it's because God was angry? Boy was God furious last night! I woke up at 2 in the morning to a deafening sound of God yelling. For a good 30 minutes, I couldn't sleep because of the thunderstorm that paid me a visit. What did I do God?! I was talking to a few coworkers and they said they woke up around that time as well because of the thunderstorm. Well at least he wasn't angry at just me.

Endless Pain

Have you ever had one of those days where you just feel like crap…all day? Man, I woke up with the worst stomach ache ever and it’s still lingering at the end of the day. I don’t know how to cure my ailing stomach. I don’t even know what medicine to take because I don’t know how to describe what I’m feeling. Growing up, I’ve been told that ginger ale or 7up will always cure a stomach ache. I tried that and it didn’t work. Just my luck huh? I start work tomorrow and the night before I have a stomach ache that won’t go away. I hope it’s just a 24 hour bug and will go away soon.

Tan Lines

In less then 2 weeks I'll be turning 23 so yesterday I started my search for the perfect birthday outfit. This outfit has to be complimenting to my curves, be low cut enough to show off my lack of assets on top and be tight enough to compliment my bottom assets. I found a long top that is long enough that I can use it as a dress. It complimented my top assets perfectly until I saw my hard work during my vacation kicking me in the ass. I spent the week in California tanning so I wouldn’t look so pale for my birthday, so when I put on the dress I saw how much darker I got. Well when I put on the dress, my chest was perfectly tanned, but my boobs were white! Talk about random tan lines! I have this lotion that’s a subtle self-tanner that I used last night. It says in a week I’ll have a nice glow. We’ll see.

Curb Talk

Vivian: Is the curb white?
Me: No
Vivian: Oh it's red?
Me: No
Vivian: Oh then it's yellow?
Me: No
Vivian: Uh, then what color is the curb?
Me: :::thinks::: Uh....ceemeent color?
Vivian: What?! (uncontrollable laughter) That means the curb is white!

I'm Monique in California

Growing up, I answered to two names, Monica and Monique. Monica is my given name and Monique is a family nickname that only family members and close family friends can call me. My friend Joyce and I have been friends since birth so she is pretty much family and she calls me Monique. Whenever I visit her in California, Joyce would take me out with her friends and she would always introduce me as 'Monique' which confuses everyone when I introduce myself as 'Monica'. Joyce tried using 'Monica' with me but it just sounded weird for the both of us so we decided that in California, I will use 'Monique' with everyone. Having two names in California reminded me of that one Las Vegas commercial when these two women come down to visit Vegas and one of the girls kept using different names to introduce them. It's fun using a different name and it's easier for me to recognize since I already use the name. I'll update on my summer vacation in California tomorrow. High School Musical 2 starts soon. I didn't get to see it over the weekend since I was out and about with Joyce. And yes, I said High School Musical 2. Got a problem with that?? I'm a kid at heart!

Beach Bum

Today is my last day of work until my vacation starts. I started working at my current job after I graduated college a little over a year ago. I am 22 and yes, this is my first job. Ever since I started this job, I haven’t had a vacation and it’s long over due. Sometimes I feel like my life is on autopilot and I just do the same thing everyday. Get up, go to work, wait for the time to pass, and then go home. It’s an endless cycle I’m excited to break tomorrow. Once in California, I was promised multiple trips to the beach so I can try and not look so pale. So for a month, I’ve been going to the gym to try and get into shape so I can look somewhat decent in a bikini. It’ll be nice to be lying on the beach, trying to get tanned, and not get caught gawking at the hot bodies. I wonder if they’ll notice if I take a picture of them. I love vacations. Even if it’s just for a week, it’s nice to get out of Vegas sometimes. But it makes me loathe Las Vegas more and more.

A Cute New Hire?

We’ve been looking for someone to hire at work for quite some time now. My department is extremely understaffed. There are currently three people in my department and that’s not including my boss. I don’t count him because he doesn’t do any releases that my coworkers and I do. Our first interview was with this new graduate and it looked promising...until she failed her drug test. Come on! If you’re interviewing for a job, there’s bound to be a drug test. Geez! So the next candidate was this cute guy who was from Colorado and had 2 years of experience. I gave him a mediocre score only because I felt like he wouldn’t want to do releases for a long time. I didn’t want to be known as pulling a Rachel Greene and hire him because he was cute. (For those of you who don’t know who Rachel Greene is, you should be ashamed of yourselves!) I was hoping my boss would look pass that and offer him a job. At first he did until we got another resume that surpassed his resume. We interviewed this girl and she seemed very interested, but a bit boring. Anyways, the cute candidate called my boss and asked how the interview went and my boss was straightforward with him. He was asking too much and we felt that he wouldn’t enjoy releasing games as much. He said he’s willing to do anything, even a pay cut! And then the boring candidate called right after saying she’s really interested. My boss is considering hiring both people. Deep down, I’m praying the cute guy gets the job. Even though he might not be happy staying there for so long, who cares! I’ll finally work with someone cute! I’m tired of working with middle aged married men or foreign men where I need a translator to communicate with them.

My List

So I was talking to my good friend Tiff about what I want to do with my life and that I always say I want to do things, but I'm never brave enough to take the initiative to do them. She suggested making a list of things I want to do near and far. So here it is! My list!

1. Visiting Europe has always been my dream. But I don’t just want to visit Europe. I want to live in the UK or in France for a year. Italy or Spain is dangerous for me because Spanish and Italian men are so suave that I might never come back to America.

2. Visit Japan, Australia, and the Philippines.

3. Take a cooking class or go to culinary school and be a certified baker.

4. Learn a different language or fine tune the languages I already know.

5. Skydive! I think it’ll be exhilarating to see the earth from above.

6. Go to NYC during the Christmas season and go ice skating at Rockefeller Center or go to NYC during the fall and actually see autumn.

7. Find a job that I actually love and have awesome benefits.

8. Go to a concert. I know it’s shocking that I’ve never been to a concert. It’s either too expensive or I just don’t have the time.

9. Leave Vegas and start a new life. Ok, this might take awhile. I’ve never been away from home for more then a few days. I’ve relied on the comforts of home and I think my parents made sure I didn’t gain independence from home. If they had it their way, I would live with them till I was old and gray.

10. Have a guy take me to see The Nutcracker. I’ve always wanted to see The Nutcracker and I think it would be amazing to see it in NYC.

11. Go scuba diving and take pictures of the beautiful creatures of the sea. Hopefully there are no sharks though!

12. And of course, settle down and start a family, preferably not in Las Vegas. I don’t think Las Vegas is a good city to raise children and our school system isn’t all that great either.

That’s a mighty long list, but I think I can definitely do it!

A Heart to Heart Talk Got Us Lost

Last night was my friend Vivian’s birthday and she invited a few close friends to come out and celebrate her birthday. On the way home, she decided to drop off her two friends from Reno to their hotel first. When her friends left, she told me how she felt bad she didn’t invite some friends to come out. But at the same time, she thinks that since she moved to Reno and was gone for 4 years, her friendships with these people aren’t the same anymore. We were talking about how the friendships in our lives, and as we transition to adulthood, we will grow apart with each other and it’s just the way of life. Then we realized she was driving towards her home and we had to turn around because I didn’t make any plans to spend the night at her house.

So we drove towards the Las Vegas Strip and we were now talking about relationships and how she still holds a place in her heart for her first love. And even if she’s been with her current boyfriend for a year now and loves him, she still feels hurt how she and her first love couldn’t make it work. They couldn’t even be friends. She never met Andrew and so I told her about my dysfunctional relationship with him. We didn’t understand how the two of us were getting emotional over relationships that we thought were behind us. As the two of us were sitting there with tears rolling down our cheeks, we start laughing not because we were emotional wrecks over stupid boys but because we were lost again. We weren’t paying attention where we were going and the whole time she was driving, I just kept pointing to a street signaling Vivian to turn. We joked around how I’m not meant to go home. A Lesson learned. Never have heart to heart talk while driving. You will get lost!

Ruuuun!

Driving around town, I sometimes forget how lucky I am to have a car in Las Vegas especially in the summer. I realize how grateful I should be with my life when I see a little overweight person running for dear life trying to catch the bus. I wonder if the bus driver sees the person and leaves them behind on purpose. I feel sorry for them because they probably pulled a muscle trying to catch that damn bus only to be left behind. But I don’t feel sorry enough to pick them up to take them to their destination. Come on, they might eat me! Just kidding! But seriously, I would never pick up a stranger on the streets. Well, unless they’re good looking. They can have their way anytime.

Back to the Stone Age

So our email server at work has been down since Tuesday and everyone is at a lost on how to continue with their daily routine without email. It seems people easily forget how people in the corporate world used to work before the internet was invented.

On Tuesday, everyone decided that since the email server was down, they wouldn’t work. So it was a pretty relaxed day. One that was much needed since everyone was being overworked for about 6 months to get a multi-game out the door.

Well, come Wednesday, everyone was freaking out because everyone realized they couldn't just skip another day of work. We’ll loose money! We’ve already lost a few contracts because of this email disaster. So everyone was trying to figure out what needs to be done by visiting people they usually interact through email. Let me tell you, this was interesting. I went over to the game developers department to look for a couple of people I normally email when a game comes to me. The second I entered a room, a man welcomed me with a warm smile and calls out my name. I pretend I know him by smiling back and asking him how he was doing. Let me tell you, if you really don’t know this person, don’t pretend. This has backfired on me so many times and yet I never learn. Anyways, he asks me what I was doing there and I tell him that I’m delivering an ‘email’ notification that I’ve released their game to the testers since the emails are down and that I’m looking for David. Low and behold, I was talking to David! How embarrassing!

We all had to adjust by using alternatives to keep the business running. Everyone had to learn a game has come in by word of mouth. A game developer came over with a post-it that had all the information I needed to release the game. My other coworker created a document so I can fill out to send to hand deliver to testers in another building once a game is ready to be tested.

Let me just say, I think I lost 5 pounds in the 2 days I’ve been walking around. Today was my rest day from the gym because let’s face it. I worked out all day today by walking to everyone delivering our version of release emails.

I'm Back!

Lots of time has passed since I've updated my blog and a lot of things happened in my life. I went through all the spectrums of emotions God has given us to experience from my grandmother passing away earlier this year to finally paying off my car to reuniting with old friends. It's somewhat hard to talk about my grandmother passing away especially since the last time I made a post is about visiting her in the hospital. I never did make it to the hospital after work by myself, but I was at the hospital the night before she passed away. It seems like I'll never be ready for loosing loved ones, but it was a lot easier then loosing my grandpa only because he was my first experience with loosing someone.

I finally got the courage to end the non-relationship I had with Andrew. We were dating from the beginning of November to the end of April and never became an official couple. I never know why I stayed with him that long especially seeing we will never work. Not to sound shallow or anything, but I need a guy who will be able to take care of me financially. Well not necessarily me, since I make enough money to take care of myself. I need a guy who can pay for his bills every month and Andrew was not able to me with provide that. He was always complaining why he never had money. Well my advice to him is to stop drinking everyday. Don't go out everyday and waste your money on frivolous thinigs. Other then him being financially unstable, he had other issues I couldn't get past but I don’t want to put him on blast. So we can leave it at that we were not meant to be and it just took me 5 months to realize it. That time I spent with him were a big waste of 5 months of my life. Just kidding! I never regret.

i just can't do it.

So my grandma is in the hospital because a few weeks ago, she fell trying to pick up the newspaper outside my aunt’s house. She was in a lot of pain so they kept her in the hospital to keep her comfortable. Well the hospital she is staying at is located near my work and my mom keeps insisting that I visit her after work. I seriously have a phobia of hospitals and going there by myself.

I hate the idea of hospitals ever since I saw my grandpa in the hospital months on end laying there helpless and then finally dying. Whenever I go to hospitals, I think of my grandpa and then I think the worst and that the person will never get better.

When she first arrived to the hospital, it took me a week to finally visit her. She was sleeping and I seriously saw my grandpa in her. I couldn’t help but think, is this it? Is this where it ends? Just thinking of that made me so scared I’ll loose her and that this family will fall apart. My grandma is the glue that holds this family together. I’m not ready to say goodbye again.

I just can’t do it. I just can’t get the courage to walk in that hospital without anyone with me. And when I do go, I can barely stay in the room for so long. And while everyone is comfortable sitting on the bed with her, I can’t even be near her. I am the one that’s closer to the door looking in. For now, I will have to watch on the side lines.

a common face

Is my face really that common? I had a conversation with a friend about how everyone has at least one person who looks like them, related or not. But with me, it seems like everyone I meet knows someone who looks like me. The other day, I met my friend's boyfriend and he asked me about a recent event that he went to. And I told him that I just met him that day. He was convinced that we met in January because I looked like someone he's met before.

Is it because everyone thinks all Asians look alike and since I'm Asian, they don't see any major differences in my facial features and is just convinced I look like an Asian that they know too? I seriously don't know. But I would love to meet these 'twins' people say I have. I want to meet these people who look like me. Let's compare our facial features and see if we can fool people into thinking we are really twins. That could be fun.

filipino time

It's a well known fact that most Filipinos arrive fashionably late to any event. You tell a Filipino to come at 4, most likely they'll get there around 5. I'll admit it, I've been plagued by this disease since the day I learned what it meant to try to arrive on time. No matter how hard I try, I’ve been at least 10 minutes late to my destination. But my Filipino time is nothing compared to my family. My aunt and two cousins are the worst when it comes to Filipino time and it is starting to become annoying.
Today we were supposed to meet for lunch at 2 pm for my cousin M’s birthday. 2:30 rolls around and M and her family were no where in sight. My family hasn’t eaten anything because we were told we were going to meet at 1pm but later got extended to 2 instead. We should have known not to go to the restaurant at 2 but we thought it would be different this time. But nope, still the same ol’ Filipino time making its way to prove you can’t train an old dog a new trick. This family is known within the entire family that if they say they will arrive at 4, they will be there at 6. Yes, that bad. At 2:15, my sister called M to ask where they were. She said she was 10 minutes away. What time did she arrive? 3pm.
I joke about the term Filipino time because Filipinos are known to being late. But do we really want to be known as being inconsiderate to not even trying to be on time? I’ve been working on my tardiness, but as long as it’s not as bad as my cousins, I think I’m good. There are rare occasions where I am an hour late, but I’m usually at most 10 minutes late, and that is because of traffic. One day I'll be on time all the time, but for now, guess you can collect your thoughts for 10 minutes until I arrive.

my epiphany

I've finally come to realized I really need to change my lifestyle. Partying once a week on the weekends has given me the reputation of a party girl and I don't want that. And when I meet guys, they see me as a party girl and think that they can treat me like one. Treat me like I'm disposable. Call me only when there's a party. I was like the party hub. I always knew where all the parties were at and would take these guys to these various parties and never see them again until there was another party to bring them to.
I'm a good girl but by looking at my pictures, no one can tell that I am one. And I am ready to settle down with one guy. Casual dating is kind of getting old now. I'll probably still date multiple guys, but this time sorting through them to find THE ONE. Go out with them and do other things then drink and party. I want to be able to go out with a guy to dinner and a movie. You know, like old fashion dating. I'm an old fashion girl might as well date like one.
I believe that if I can settle down myself, I will find that one person that I can settle down with too. I believe God is telling me that since I'm partying so much, I'm not ready to be in a relationship because partying might take priority over my boyfriend. I remember when I was dating R, I would pick a party over him. And I don't want a guy to feel like he's second best to my social life.
Another thing is that the party scene is getting old. One night of partying requires me about two days to recover. When I drink, my insomnia kicks in and I tend to only get about 3-4 hours of sleep. So the next night I have to sleep early just to catch up on sleep. Then the rest of the week, I'm exhausted at work.
The past two and a half months have been great. I've made great friends and was able to finally let loose. I appreciate my parents for being patient with me in my partying stage. Now, I would much rather go to the movies, go bowling, go out to dinner, or have a night in with some friends. Let's have a board game night or have karaoke contests. Less drinking though. 2 months of drinking takes a toll on a girl's body. It's time to hang the party shoes indefinately.

just a little dream… (really long!)

So I’ve been having strange dreams lately and what’s surprising is that I remember them too! At the sight of a new day, I rarely remember what my unconscious self thought during the night. It all started two days ago when I woke up reminiscing on the sleeping thoughts I just received. From what I can remember, it was about me, my friends J, S, and C. We were in a car looking for something to do. We were bored out of our minds and were looking for something to occupy ourselves. Today, I decided to consult a dream dictionary.

Car
To dream that you are driving a car, denotes your ambition, your drive and your ability to navigate from one stage of your life to another. Consider how smooth or rough the car ride is. Whether you are driving the car or a passenger, is indicative of your active role or passive role in your life. If you are in the backseat of the car, then it indicates that you are putting yourself down and are allowing others to take over. This may be a result of low self-esteem or low self-confidence. Overall, this dream symbol is an indication of your dependence and degree of control you have on your life.

Friends
Signify aspects of your personality that have been developing and making you grow as a person. The relationships you have with those around you are important in learning about yourself, so look to the friends you dreamed about for signals of personality traits they have that you desire in yourself, and work on those things. Additionally, dreaming of friends sometimes foretells that you will hear happy news from them.

And like with many dreams, they are never constant. The next script that came to me during my sleep was that I was pregnant. I thought maybe I had this dream was because a lot of people around me are getting pregnant. My friend A just had a baby, my coworker is pregnant, and my friend K just found out she’s pregnant. But what was weird about this dream was that I was supposedly 9 months pregnant and about to pop but my stomach was not that big. Was I having a midget baby? I will never know because I woke up right when my water broke in the dream.

Pregnant
To dream that you are pregnant, symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. You may not be ready to talk about it or act on it. This may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal.

Birth
The birth of a human child is a universal symbol for good news, happiness, and/or a whole new life. The birth of twins or triplets indicates wealth. If the birth involved friendly animals such as dogs, cats, horses or dolphins, then allies who will be of great assistance to you soon surround you. The birth of scary animals, however, such as predators of all kinds, indicates the opposite: Your adversaries are gaining ground and you need to strengthen your resources.

So from the interpretation of my dreams, I’ll be getting good news and maybe developing a new idea? It doesn’t stop there.

Last night I had just as weird of a dream then the night before. From what I can remember, I woke up and got a phone call from my friend E to come with her to deliver a pillow to her friend. I told her that I have to be home early because I have a test at 10 am. She gets me home at 9:30 and I still had to shower. I take a quick shower and race out of my house. The road turns to sand and I see people playing around the sand. I get out of my car and pick it up like it’s a toy car. Then a small bridge appears and I try to cross it, but I’m a giant compared to the bridge and it crumbles sending me falling towards the water. Before I know it, my alarm signals me to wake up from this bizarre dream.

Pillow
If you see a pillow in your dream, it represents comfort, relaxation and luxury. It may indicate laziness or, conversely, a need to take it easy on yourself.

Late
To dream that you are late for something represents your fear of change and your anxiety about seizing an opportunity. You may feel unready or unworthy in your current circumstances. You may also be conflicted over decisions about your future.

Bridge
Bridges often signify travel and transitions. Dreaming of a bridge over water suggests that you could be conflicted in your emotions. If the bridge was unstable or collapsing, it could mean problems in a friendship or love relationship.

Giant
To dream that you turn into a giant, indicates feelings of inferiority.

Test
If you miss a test in a dream, you are worried that you don't have what it takes to accomplish something expected of you in real life.

From this interpretation, I have a fear of change and failure and also feel inferior and lazy. Also a friendship or a relationship will fail soon. These are extremely opposite dreams in two days. One night I dream I’ll be expecting good news, the next night I’ll be expecting a friendship to fail. What’s crazy was that in each night, every symbol in the dream tied together with each other. The first night, everything in the dream symbolizes something positive might happen, whereas last night everything symbolizes something negative might happen. It’s funny how dreams can be interpreted.

board games can be fun

Who knew that playing board games can be fun when we are adults? I think I had more fun playing twister, taboo, and pictionary at 22 then when I was a teenager. Granted that the night included alcohol, but we were sober enough to have fun without thinking of drinking more. Friday was my friend R’s 21^st birthday but I wasn’t able to attend for I was having a fun time with Mr. T himself at Pure. So in order for me to make it up to him, he demanded I come to game night at our friend A’s ghetto storage home. Her parents own this home in the ghetto to store supplies for her dad’s business. It’s so ghetto that when I arrived, my friends told me to hurry my ass up because they don’t want to stay outside any longer for fear of a drive by. No one was allowed to go outside by themselves for fear of one’s own safety. We tried to convince my friend D that A dropped out of school and is working two jobs to afford the shack of a house. The story wasn’t as funny, but it was funnier when she believed us.

Anyway, so game night was on Sunday and we started the night off with pictionary because I’ve never played it before. I’ve always wanted to play pictionary because I see people on tv having fun drawing little pictures and yelling random words trying to figure out a Picasso like picture. When we opened the box, I was a bit shocked. I always pictured playing pictionary with a gigantic pad of paper on a tripod. Nope. We got tiny pads of paper. Did you know pictionary comes with a board? I always thought that you are just given cards and you just draw what the words on the card say. Well we ended up playing like that because we couldn’t figure out how to use the dice with the weird pictures on it. Yes, we are adults and can’t figure out a simple game. We had fun regardless of playing the game correctly or not. My team lost by 1 point, but the other team didn’t have “white men can’t jump!” Tell me how the hell do you draw “white men can’t jump?”

Twister was fun as well, but we cannot play that with 6 people anymore. We were only able to fit 4 people on that mat. My friend said that it’s because of my booty that we all couldn’t fit. It’s not my fault that I’ve got a booty that goes miles on ends. No, I’m just kidding, it’s not that big. But I do have a big booty and he likes to point it out. It was really fun and I want a rematch from Ro. He lost his balance and knocked me and D down with him. Cheater.

But let’s not play taboo again. That game is hard. I had “actor” and I had to explain actor without using certain words. Well R and his friend Ro are both aspiring actors. Actually, you can see Ro in the movie Gridiron Gang as a football player. So I tried to use them to describe actor. I said, “What they are!” And of course, my friend Al asked, “Gay?” With this group of friends, everything is fair game. We make fun of each other knowing that feelings won’t be hurt no matter how hurtful it sounds. From the outside looking in, it does sound like we are extremely mean towards one another, but we just show how much we love each other in our own special way. It was an eventful night where I’m glad I was forced to come. Just being able to laugh all night and relive our childhood was memorable. I want another board game night!

we are fighting

Dear Alcohol,
Why must you leave me in a euphoric state for a couple of hours just to leave me hanging as an insomniac later that night? I know we have lots of fun for those couple of hours with lots of laughing, dancing, and meeting new people, but why can’t you let me sleep like you do with other people? The past two days you only let me have a grand total of 8 hours of sleep. People are suppose to get 8 hours of sleep a DAY not 8 hours for TWO DAYS. I even struggled for those precious 8 hours. It took me an hour each night just to catch the bus to dreamland.
Also, when we spend time together, I get hungry. I feel hungry. But when food is placed in front of me, you chase my appetite away. Why?! I want to be a normal person around you. I want to be able to eat till my stomach is satisfied with the yummy goodness of artery clogging foods.
Next week, I’m taking a break from you. This week, I will catch up on my ZzZz and come October, we will reunite like old friends. Like old friends, we see change among each other and I want to see something changed with you. Ok? Till then, good luck and I’ll see you in two weeks.

Love,
M

an unexpected friend

Growing up, my sister had her set of friends and I had mine and they were never intertwined. Whenever her friends would come over, our vocabulary amongst each other didn't span more then the hello's and the how are you's. A couple of years ago, that all changed. You see, my sister went through this rebellious phase where she dropped everyone, all for a boy. A deadbeat. All her friends turned to me for updates on what was going on with her and of course I didn't know either for I was in the dark with them. Who knew that all her friends and I would become so close while my sister isolated herself from them.

The one relationship that surprised me the most was the one with X (had to use a different letter just incase). She and I would never have guessed we would be so close. But for some reason, she was easy to talk to and vice versa. I would tell her everything that was going on in my life especially about guys. She is the only one that knows everything about me. A few days ago, my guy friend J whom I’ve known since he was about 3 years old and I was 9, said we should share personal stories. And I told him I don't share stories like that. And X interrupted us and yells out, 'she shares with me!' We find it funny that of all the people we are close to, we share our deepest darkest secrets with each other. I think why I tell her everything is because she doesn’t know a lot of my friends so she has an unbiased opinion.

A few months ago we were talking on AIM where I noticed something was wrong. She kept saying random things and every time I ask what was wrong, she would avoid the question. Then she confessed to me that she's confused and she thinks she has a crush on a girl. I told her that lots of girls like to experiment these days and not to worry. She said she’s worried to tell everyone and how judgmental they might become. I reassured her that if her friends were real friends, they won’t care if she’s straight, gay, bi, or whatever. She informs me that I’m the first one she's told. She hasn't even told N, her best friend, a best friend she considers her sister. I felt special to know that she can confide in me something as important as this. What’s funny is that N was the second to last to know. And she said, "Of all the people, you tell Monica first?!" And as for my sister, she just found out last night, a week after N.

It’s funny how the detours of life can sometimes turn out to be scenery to die for. Now that my sister is slowly coming back into society and trying to patch up old wounds, I would never have seen my sister, me, and all our friends together in a room bonding. Even though I’ll never have the same bond my sister has with her friends, I consider them great people and I’m glad life turned out this way.

but we aren't twins

Growing up my mom always wanted twins. I would hear the excitement in her voice when she sees twins running around in identical outfits. Twin kids of course. In college I saw two different set of twin guys who dressed alike with their other twin. That is bizarre beyond compare. Anyways, her desire to have twins was so intense that she dressed my sister and me in identical clothes growing up. I thought those years were long gone until last weekend. For my sister’s birthday, we had dinner with our friends. Our friends D and S were the last to arrive and were seated on the opposite end of the table from me. When they arrived all I heard were giggles from them. I couldn’t ask them what was so funny since they were on the other side of the table, and it was extremely noisy in the restaurant.

At the end of dinner I realized what they were laughing at. You see, D and S chipped in together to buy each of us a present. S handed me a gift bag. Laughing hysterically she forcibly said, “I hope you like your present.”

I thought it was a gag gift since she was laughing so hard. As I took a peek into the bag I saw something familiar. It took awhile for my memory to adjust to this familiar pattern. Then I looked up and focused on the patterns of my sister’s tank top. Of course, it’s the top my sister was wearing at that very moment! They didn’t even plan that because my sister had just bought that top for her birthday. They said we can be twins now! Oh no, the nightmares came rushing back that I thought were long forgotten. We haven’t dressed the same since we were single digit aged and we are not going to start again.

streaking, lap dances, drinking, and kissing

Yesterday was my sister’s 20^th birthday and we decided to go bowling since there’s nothing else to do in Vegas when you’re 20. I invited some friends so we can bowl under the influence. I threw the ball a few times before my friend A came and it was off to the bar. I decided to hang at the bar instead of the bowling lanes. I saw my friend M whom I haven’t seen in about 4 months and she decided to buy me kryptonite since she said I wasn’t drunk enough in my birthday pictures. Keep in mind that I’ve already had 3 other drinks before this. A Washington apple shot, jagger bomb, and a mai tai. She’s satisfied that I took the shot and I was pretty tipsy. I started trippin’ out on the cash register because it looked blurry to me. My friends reassured me that it was blurry for them, so I knew I wasn’t that drunk.

Fast forward and my sister and her friends decided to go home early. I wanted to drink more and T wanted to go sing karaoke. My friend J got off work and asked if we were still at the bowling alley and if we wanted to go to a house party and sing karaoke. We couldn’t pass up the offer because free drinks and karaoke? Life couldn’t be any better. Her boyfriend gave us shitty directions and it took us an hour to get to the house which could have been done in 15 minutes. A, T, and I don’t know too many people and it was more like a kick back then a party. But after 15 minutes we all headed out to another house but A ended up going home early.

More drinking happened. The guys decided to play pool where J and I got to pick what the loser had to do. I chose a lap dance because hello, T lost and he’s hot. J chose the loser gives the winner a lap dance. How funny is having a guy give another guy a lap dance? Not that funny. It was boring. They weren’t into it as T was with me. Then we did couples game and C got to choose what the losers had to do. Little did we know, we were all losers. I told him that I will not under any circumstances take off any clothes and J agreed. The guys, not so much.

T and I won the pool game but the feeling of victory was short-lived when he said that the girls had to either streak or French kiss each other and the guys had to do the same. But I won! Why do I have to participate in this when I won? The guys played another game while J and I tried to con our way out of it. Didn’t work. The guys finished playing and all 4 of them dropped all their clothes and went streaking outside in the cold night. And all I saw were their white asses because I refused to see anything else. Especially C, because he is all hairy and that’s gross. When they were running back, T's hands were over his head. Damn I wish I had 20/20 vision, because I couldn’t see anything.

Since the guys did their bet, they all hovered over J and me to go through our bet. We tried to convince them that we will do a peck on the lips. They said French kiss. We tried to convince them a longer kiss on the lips without tongue. They said French kiss. So we did a peck on the lips and they booed. It took us about 8 minutes to finally go through with it. How do I know 8 minutes? Because C video taped the whole thing on his digital camera! Pervert! Anyways, we kissed without tongue! They don’t know that. But they were satisfied. We kissed for about 5 seconds and J’s boyfriend got mad because we were only supposed to kiss for 4 seconds. He counted out loud and yelled out FOUR. Guess he’s not into the whole lesbian action. J and I were joking around before the actual kiss on who is going to make the move. We both wanted to initiate it while the other girl just stood there with her eyes close. We both wanted to be the dominant one and I ended up being the guy and took the lead. And she showed her boyfriend how I kissed and he’s like, now I feel like I’ve kissed Monica. I’ve only known J for a few months and we joke around now that this just made us a little more closer. We vowed to never speak of this incident outside of the house, so don’t ask me who is who, because I won’t tell. I like to tease you. But I learned to never make bets with C because no matter what, you’ll end up doing something even if you won.

bad luck contagious?

Everyone says that bad things come in threes. Have you heard of three people who had a streak of two bad incidents each happening to them? It seems like bad luck is contagious among people I know. It all started a couple of months ago when my friend T came back from California for a friend’s 21^st birthday. The next day I invited her to lunch but she ended up telling me some bad news. She was stuck in Barstow with her boyfriend with a flat tire and needs to replace all 4 tires, which costs about $300! I asked if she needed me to wire her some money because it’s Barstow. There’s nothing there and it’s kind of scary. I send her some money and they are able to buy spankin’ new tires for J’s spankin’ new Scion Box car. You would think that everything is better, but it gets worse. A couple of days later, they were driving in J’s hometown when some dumbass runs a red light and hits J’s car. New tires and all were totaled. You would think that the Scion Box was too square to roll, but it rolled. It rolled real good. It’s a good thing no one was seriously hurt, but the car! The tires! All that time and effort to scrap the $300 to buy 4 new tires went down the drain. Well, there’s more bad luck.

The next streak of bad luck happened to me. If you read in the previous posts you already know my bad luck. It all happened when I over withdrew from the wrong bank account accumulating massive charges that would be more useful on say food or gas. Then the next bad luck was my speeding/running a red light/no seatbelt ticket. Oh the horror of hearing those charges! In my defense, I was wearing a seatbelt. I was so nervous and didn’t know what to do so I took it off and looked for my paperwork. Judgment day is on October 23^rd, so pray that I have a reduced charge.

The third streak of double bad luck happened to my parents. In my house, we have two garage doors where my mom and my sister share a two car garage and I have my own one car garage. A week ago my dad noticed that the two car garage was sounding louder then usual. It would make a big bang at the end when it opened. It ended up breaking and they had to buy a new garage door opener. Good thing for me was they bought me one for my garage door also. But the bad luck doesn’t stop there. Yesterday, on their way home, I get a phone call that they’re going to be late because they got into a car accident. A few cars were giving this truck a chance to make a left turn when my dad wasn’t able to see him. So the truck swerved and hit a pole and my dad hits the back tire. The cops say it’s my dad’s fault and gives him two tickets. The court house will have a wonderful time having father and daughter in the court house next month.

Do you think it’s a coincidence that all three of us had a double streak of bad luck? Do you think it will end with my parents? Hopefully it ends there, but isn't it interesting how they all kind of revolved around cars? I need some good luck to come my way.

where were you 5 years ago?

Today commemorates the 5 year anniversary of what America experienced as the annihilation of the World Trade Center. Every year on this day, I always look back on the day it happened. It was my senior year of high school and I was doing my daily routine of watching the morning news for any current events to bring up for Government class. And every channel was focused on one thing, the Twin Towers.
I didn’t want to go to class worried I would miss them falling. As I walked through the halls everyone was gathered in their cliques talking about the biggest event of our generation. No one wanted to be in class. Everyone wanted to sit with their loved ones and glue themselves to the tv.
When the first period bell rang signaling to get to class, we convinced our teacher to let us watch the news. For that one day, everything and everyone stopped and was fixated around the television. Teachers didn’t mind if students were absent or late. They didn’t mind that we didn’t have our homework done in time. It was all about what was on the television and nothing else mattered.
By fourth period, an announcement was made that teachers were to turn off the television for fear students would become scared witnessing this horrifying event. By this time, we already saw the second tower fall and all was silent during the halls. I remember teachers explaining how every generation has a life altering event and that this is our generation’s event. This is the event that would forever be permanently written in our mind. Everyone knows that I have an awful memory, but it’s amazing how this incident is able to let me remember even the smallest detail of that day. They say when people are struck with an ordeal that is life altering; they remember every detail of that day. This day is one of them, and I’ll never forget it.

endless shot night

My 22^nd birthday has come and gone and I didn't even learn my lesson from the previous year. I partied like it was my 21^st birthday by reliving it. I was living in parallel with the previous year. After dinner, we headed to the bar to meet my friends and the first thing people asked me was, "Can I buy you a shot?" I would like to call this night, the endless shot night. Shot after shot, I was pretty drunk in about 20 minutes and was only asking for water after that.
After the last friend arrived at the bar, we headed to the club where I lost track of what happened. A friend of mine has pictures of me on the stripper pole and told me I danced on it twice. In between asking for water, I was rushing to the bathroom to throw up. Last year, I never made it to the bathroom. I had to throw up in the casino trash cans.
When I'm drunk, I become very friendly. I was told that I kept hugging people and telling everyone how much I loved each and every one of them. I also have a tendency to keep introducing myself to people I don't know when I'm drunk and my friend J said that I introduced myself about 10 times to her boyfriend. And what made it more funny was that he introduced himself using his real name and his nickname. So I kept telling J that I'm more confused since he's using two names.
I was so wasted Friday night that when I woke up on Saturday I was still drunk. But the one thing that shocked me was when I was browsing through my camera, there was a picture of my friend Laura and me in the bathroom. She and I have the same birthday so she was probably at the club celebrating her birthday too. I haven't seen her since high school and of all the places, I see her at the club and I don't even remember it.
After the club, I needed something in my stomach to stop throwing up so we went to Fatburger and like my 21st birthday I ordered fries. Which of course, I couldn't eat anything. The lack of appetite was from throwing up so many times. After a few fries I pretty much passed out on the table. Seems like every birthday from now on I’ll pass out at restaurants. The one thing that was a big difference was that I didn’t throw up at the restaurant. I was able to make it to the bathroom this time. I’m improving each year! But overall, I had a great time and everyone said they had a great time as well. I’m glad everyone was able to make it even though a lot of my friends had to leave early due to early rising obligations. Maybe next year I won’t take a 2 week break from drinking and won't turn into a lightweight. I might have left a few things out from that night only because I don't remember. I saw a few pictures already and I don't remember them being taken. Without those pictures, I wouldn't be able to piece together the whole night. Thanks everyone! You are the best! And of course, I love you!

a year older, a year wiser

Well today I turn the big 2-2 and I realized that the year flew by very quickly. They say that happens after you turn 21. Well in the past year, I had a grand time and I learned a lot. I am a little wiser from all that has happened to me this past year.

I learned that no matter how long you’ve been friends with someone, they can still stab you in the back over and over again and not feel any remorse. I learned that even though we’ve been friend since jr. high, it’s time to let that friendship go and go our separate ways. I don’t regret any of it. I learned to forgive. But of course I won't forget what she did.

I love how I meet people I went to school with in high school but don’t meet them until after we graduate. I’ve met awesome people this past year that went to my high school, but I never saw them during my 4 years of schooling. And also I love how I loose touch with friends from jr. high and high school, but this past year, I reconnected with quite a few of them. Mostly thanks to myspace.

I learned that I have an addictive personality. I tend to get addicted to things and it’s not pretty. I gave up myspace for 40 days to fix this addiction. It only made it worse. After 40 days, I needed a fix and now I’m on there almost all day.

I learned that with good friends, time passes by faster then a speeding bullet while you are together, but among each other it feels like it stood still. I am so blessed to have great friends that I love sharing my rapidly passing time with them.

I love how whenever I get together with my God Sister, whom I’ve known all my life, we always reminisce about the past. And the one memory that we always share is when we were growing up we would jump on the bed and my sister would always end up falling off the bed. My sister hates that memory, but we love reliving that memory in our heads. I love how my sister would get mad about sharing that memory that she would share a bad memory of each of us.

I learned that Marilyn Monroe’s quote “If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything” is true. I was once head over heels over a guy that I didn’t realize I was neglecting my girlfriends. And I’m so impressed how mature they handled it that they were easily forgiving when we ended our fun. And I learned my lesson to never let a guy come between my friends and me, no matter what. Unless he’s super hot. No I’m just kidding.

I learned that I can burn and also get a tan. I got my first sun burn this past year. I was shocked! But I deserve it, since I was out in the sun for 6 hours without any sun block.

I learned that blood does run thicker then water. To everyone, I only have one sister, but to me, I have over 30 brothers and sisters. My cousins mean the world to me. We all grew up together and saw each other many times a year. Going through many guy problems this year, my cousins were my rock. Especially my cousin K, who experienced the same break up as I did. So in conclusion, guys suck! No I’m just kidding. Just the one’s I meet.

I learned that hard work does pay off. How many 21 year olds can say they have a bachelor’s degree? Even though I hated my major more then I enjoyed it, I am glad I stuck with it and was able to graduate at 21.

And one thing I learned since turning 21, never mix your drinks. I learned that the hard way. It makes me more nauseous then a pregnant woman. And my memory is worse then an Alzheimer’s patient. And to also have enough food in your stomach before you drink. Nothing is worse then throwing up stomach acid.

I’ve experience so much this year and through each experience I learned valuable lessons along the way. Life is all about lessons where you learn from them and I did learn a lot. I’m very grateful for the loves of my life for helping me through everything and for sticking with me. I know I can be a handful, especially when I’m drunk. But I am only 22 and the night is young. So let’s go celebrate and maybe I’ll learn something new.

best pre-birthday gift ever

While I was at work, I realized I needed a few essentials for Friday’s big bash so I went to Target during my lunch break. I got back from Target in 45 minutes so I ate my lunch that I brought. Eating some spaghetti and surfing the web, my boss comes in my cube. I didn't want to get caught myspaceing so I close my browser like there's no tomorrow. It wouldn't matter if he saw me myspaceing, I was on my lunch. And plus, he's a cool boss because you know why? He gave me the best birthday present ever. A day off on my birthday! You don't understand how awesome this is. I've only been working for 3 months and he gives me a day off. Most people have to wait an eternity (6 months) to get a sick day off, and I was able to get off within 3 months! He just told me to email him saying I feel sick and that would be it. He is awesome! And so is my aunt. She gave me a $100 check. My boss and my aunt have set the bar pretty high for everyone else on gift givings. I'm just kidding. It is the thought that counts in a gift and I will appreciate all my gifts. I can't wait for Friday. Having dinner with good friends and then drinking and dancing with lots of awesome friends. I'll be sure to post pictures from my bday.
For now, here are some pictures from dinner.

Eww. Major tan lineage going on there. I need to start tanning in the nude. At least I can say I'm not that white. I'm able to tan and there's proof!

my sister's adventure with a dress

I love long weekends. It represents a time to go and splurge on everything from shopping to eating, my two favorite past times. And of course, with holiday weekends comes sales. I went to the mall with the intentions of buying clothes that were on sale. As I browsed through all the clothes, of course I fell in love with practically all the ones that weren’t on sale. And to top it all off, my whole purpose of going to the mall was to buy a hot outfit to look hot on my special day. Instead, the majority of the clothes I bought were for work. I did buy a dress, but that is reserved for the week after my special day for a semi-formal gathering to celebrate a wonderful woman’s 80^th birthday, my cousin’s grandmother. I was ecstatic when I saw the dress because it was 75% off and it looked hot. Too bad my hotness will be wasted on a family party. I’ll be sure to take lots of pictures to showcase them on myspace.

While I was looking for a dress, I ended up picking out a stunning dress for my sister and prayed that it fit her. I wanted her buy it so I can borrow the dress when in that rare case I gain enough weight to move up a size. If some of you know my sister, she is a going through that transition from being a tomboy to a minimal girly girl. She will wear fitted jeans, but not a skirt. She will wear baby tees but not a spaghetti strap. So 5 minutes in the dressing room I yell out if everything is ok. She yells out in frustration that it doesn’t fit. So then I get excited and yell out, ‘maybe it runs small and it might fit me!’ She quickly changes and comes out of the dressing room signaling me to try it on.

Excited, I enter the dressing room and see the dress sprawled on the chair as if my sister was so pissed off that it didn’t fit that in her frustrations, she threw it there to teach it a lesson. I picked up the dress and to my surprise the zipper was still intact. I yell out to my sister and ask if she unzipped the dress.

My sister asks, “What? There’s a zipper?”
Me laughing hysterically, I forcibly say, “Uh yea! Maybe that’s why it didn’t fit!”

I tried on the dress and unsurprisingly it was too big. So I exit the dressing room and tell my sister to unzip it this time and to try it on. When she came out, it fitted perfectly. Although she said it’s a little tight it's not noticeable. She ended up buying the dress and I’ll be sure to take a picture of her in the dress, only because that occasion is rare and I need evidence to show people that she wears dresses on special occasions.

are you a mom?

My sweet tooth has been deprived for almost a month now of those chewy and soft chocolate chip cookies. A guilty pleasure, that is only to be eaten on special occasions. So what’s the special occasion you ask? I’ve been craving cookies for a few weeks and that is a world record. So to celebrate the world record, today was that day I finally gave in and decided to buy the ingredients. With the shopping list in one hand and the other navigating the uncooperative cart, I searched for various foods. While I was in the section where you wouldn’t find a vegetarian in sight, yes the meat aisle, I parked my cart on the side. As I contemplated on what meat to buy, I have this conversation with a boy of 10 years old.

Little boy: “Excuse me, are you a mom?”
Me: Shocked at the question I crack a smile and say, “Uh no.”
LB: With a big smile on his face he asks, “Oh, then can I have your number?”
ME: Even more surprised by his question, I laugh hysterically and said, “Uh no thank you.” And I walked away pretending to look busy.

Is that the new pick up line going around these days? When I was in the aisle of heaven, yes the ice cream aisle, he ran into me again and said with a huge smile, “Heeeeyyyyy there! I’m back!”

He’s such a persistent little boy. All I can do is laugh because I’ve never been asked if I was a mom to be used as a pick up line. I wasn’t even with a little kid, unless you count my younger sister who is only 2 years younger than me. I should have said, “Yes I am a mom,” and point to my sister and said, “And that is my daughter.” That would have been hilarious just to see what his expression would be. I thought I’ve heard every pick up line there is, I was wrong.