2 Weeks

Two more weeks to go til I'm off to Mexico. I have so many things to take care of and yet I'm procrastinating. I have to find some clothes to wear to the cruise. I have to buy some stuff to take with me. And I have to clean my room since the weekend I get back, my family will be staying at my house for the weekend. I enjoy having my family visit me but not when they stay at my house because they come in pacts of 15. So imagine about 20 people in one house with just two bathrooms. I have to stay in my parents' room and I have to lock up everything in my room. A few years ago, I found out my cousin was a kleptomaniac and likes to also destroy people's property. She cut a hole in my leather chair and she stole my diamond earrings. I couldn't prove it was her but who else would do it? My sister said she was the only one in my room while everyone was downstairs. So from now on, I carefully watch her. I remember when I was in California staying at her house, I saw that my contacts were ripped in half! At first I thought I accidentally ripped them the night before but whenever I rip my contacts they don't rip in half. So the next two weeks will be stressful but it will be all worth it. Relaxing on the cruise with some good friends.

Today Will Never Be the Same

Today has always been a unique day. Today is my aunt's and my two cousins' birthday. But it will never be the same anymore because today is PJ's birthday. He would have been 25 years old. I remember last year today I was in California with my cousin Christene celebrating her birthday with my cousins and we called PJ to greet him happy birthday. He has always been the light of the party in our family. But even though he's gone, he still makes us laugh. We talk about him all the time as if he's still with us. He was the greatest person I've ever met. Happy birthday PJ and I love you!

Kinda Bitter

Ever since my close friends turned down my birthday cruise, I've never felt more rejected in my life. I understand that they can't go because of money reasons but they didn't have to tell me they are going and then last minute tell me they can't afford it. I gave everyone 2 months to raise 300 dollars. I'd think that you would know by then if you can afford it or not. I was really excited that they were going to come along with me and then getting my hopes up makes me feel want to distant myself from them. This Saturday is Kathrina's late graduation party. I'm proud she finally graduated but I kinda feel bitter towards her for telling me she'd go on the cruise until the day before we were buying the tickets to tell me she can't afford it. It sounds childish to say that I won't go to her party since she isn't going to mine but that's what I feel like right now. I feel like I don't want to associate with my friends right now even though two of my friends are still going with me. It's all about the principle of sticking to your word and being responsible enough to just say no ahead of time. I graciously told her that I might not make it because I have some stuff to do this weekend which is true. It's PJ's and Christene's birthday tomorrow and Christene will be in town this weekend. And in honor of PJ's memory, I'd rather spend this time with my family.

One Month to Go

It's crazy to think that another year has past. Time does fly when you are older. And growing up is really hard to do. I've experienced so many things in a year, both good and bad. So this year I'll be turning the big TWO-FOUR. I'm tired of the same old way of celebrating my birthday. All we do is go clubbing for birthdays. So this year, I've decided to change it up a bit. I've decided not to celebrate my birthday in Las Vegas. I'm going on a cruise to Mexico with a couple of friends. Through this trip, I've come to learn that some people are not as reliable as they seemed. I wanted to celebrate my birthday with a few close girlfriends. I trust these girls with my life. I gave everyone two months to decided if they can come or not. Everyone seemed very interested and excited which got me excited. Well it's a month before my birthday and everyone bailed out on me. Everyone except for two friends. One is a friend whom I only see on special occasions and the other is one I've met only once. I'm not complaining because they are awesome, but I wish that people would tell me straight up they couldn't afford it or they can't go because of work. It's hurtful getting me excited by telling me they'll go on the trip and bailing out last minute. But you know what, it'll be a blast. They will just miss out. Everyone is saying that their are sorry and are saying they'll make it up to me. Honestly, I don't want their pitty for not making it. And I'm not about to do another celebration when I get back so they can "make it up". I sometimes want to just not go to their birthdays just to show how hurtful I feel for them backing out last minute. But I'm never one to be that spiteful. So here is to year the 24.

High Expectations

When I was in SCM, it was our job to reject products that didn't follow policy in order to make every release consistent. We needed to whip people in shape into following directions. It was out job to point out what went wrong and how to correct it. The main culprits were game developers. They never followed the rules. Their main goal was to get their products out as fast as possible even if it didn't follow policy. When I transfered to game dev, everyone has high expectations of me. Everyone expects me to have my games perfect since I know the rules, since I enforced the rules. I was talking to a director and he joked around saying he can't wait for SCM to reject my game. It's so hard to live up to those expectations but it's all in good fun. We all know that everyone makes mistakes. I've even publicly acknowledged my mistakes when I realized them when I was in SCM.
In other news, I really love my new position. My new coworkers were so accepting of me and really helpful. Everyone I interact with are around my age so we have a lot in common. Kyle was right. People make me happy, not the job. I like interacting with people and in game dev, I'm constantly interacting with many people. People will stop by my cube to talk to me every so often. It's nice to find a job that I truly enjoy. For now. ;) lol The plus is that I don't have to see Ed anymore.

You're the Only One

Of all the people I've loved and lost, you're the only one I constantly think about. You're the only one who I dream about. And you're the only one who makes me want to make something of myself because I now realize we never know when our time is up. I had a dream about you last night. It was like in the movies when someone passes away, the movie will replay the person's life and show how happy the person was throughout their lifetime. That's what played in my dream. I saw the good times we had growing up together and right before I woke up, the "video" type dream showed you laughing and smiling in slow motion as a finale of the film. It was bittersweet waking up to that. Maybe it's you telling me you are in a happy place now. Since you've passed, I've been contemplating more about life and I will definitely start living life and not take it for granted. You're my inspiration.

Too Little, Too Late

"It's just too little too late
A little too wrong
And I can't wait
Boy you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
To be real, it doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)"
- Jojo

While I was in California, Andrew texted me twice back to back.
"Hey! I hear you're still mad at me. Just wanted to see how you are doing. It was never my intention to hurt you. I hope you are doing ok. If I don't hear from you, I understand"
"Hey! I ran into Shawn last night and I just wanted to see how you are doing. Hope you are doing ok!"

I didn't want to text him back. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction that I am all right and he can clear his conscious of how he treated me. It's been a year and a half which means it's too late to apologize. He just wants to hear that I'm doing alright so he can sleep at night. But I think the stress of my cousin passing away and lack of sleep made me reply 5 hours later, "I'm fine. Thanks." He was shocked that I replied and asked why it took so long so I told him I was in California for my cousin and he sent his condolences. And I said goodnight. Today he asked how I was doing and I didn't reply this time. I really don't want to be friends with him. He had to go through Shawn to finally text me? I know he asks about me sometimes through Jill but why now? What does he want? I don't have time for little boys and I don't appreciate him texting me like he cares. If you don't intend on hurting the girls you date, then don't play them! A player will not care if they hurt someone or not. So don't tell me you're intentions were never to hurt me because I don't believe you! I'm not bitter. I just wont get fooled twice. I was also a bit annoyed that Shawn and Andrew were talking about me. I politely asked Shawn to never talk about me with Andrew if he runs into him again. It annoys me that Shawn loves Andrew so much that he compares every guy I date to him but I can't make him forget Andrew. Just don't rub it in my face because I know the real Andrew and if you're really my friend, you'd take my side.

Not Taking Any Chances

My mom says it was meant to be. I call it a coincidence. Whatever you call it, I'm not taking any chances. Two weeks ago for Memorial Day weekend I went to California to see the new additions to dad's side of the family. I was there all weekend and enjoyed my stay since I haven't seen them since my grandma's 1 year death anniversary. When I got back home, I was too lazy to unpack my bag and it stayed on my floor for a week. Little did I know that I'll be using the contents of that bag a week later. Interesting enough, what was left in my bag were two black shirts. My mom said it was meant to be that I go back to California for PJ's funeral. I got back into town yesterday morning and I am not taking any chances. I unpacked my bags, put away my clean clothes, and placed the bag in the closet. This is one sign I don't want to repeat the results. We are trying to break our bad luck. It seems that every time something good happens in our lives, the complete opposite happens. We didn't wear black for his funeral. We celebrated his life and we are hoping this will be the last time we say good bye to a loved one for a long time. Rest in peace dear cousin.

You Got Your Three

You know the saying, "people die in threes?" Well God, you got your three, so please leave my family alone for awhile. I can't believe in 16 months, we've lost 3 people in my family. First you take our matriarch and her brother, but you had to take my cousin. He was only 24 years old. No I am not mad at you. I know you have a plan for all of us. I'm just shocked that it happened. He was the first cousin to die but looking at all the people who came to my aunt's house and his viewing, he was very well loved. Everyone showed my family their condolences and expressed how much PJ made an impact in their lives. He was such a caring guy that was able to relate to everyone, young and old. I rarely see grown men cry but the guys I saw crying over my cousin were guys you'd probably be scared of if you've seen them out in the streets.
I just want to say that I love you PJ and we will see each other again. Every time I eat sinigang, I'll think of when we were young and we used to fight over the vegetables. And I'll always remember that face you make whenever you try to make me remember "step step bow." You always made me smile and I'm glad you are now in a better place. I'll miss you forever. Tell Mamang and Papang I said Hi and I miss them too.

It's Official

June 16th is when I start my new job as a game developer. I signed the paperwork and handed it to HR today and I'm mighty excited. I love my coworkers already. We all got the office communicator so we can IM each other all day and we already have a blast talking to one another. I love having girl coworkers who are my age and I have someone I can relate to. What's crazy is that the intern who is closer to my age lives really close to me. We are planning to carpool when she gets back from vacation for the rest of the summer.
I just can't believe how poorly Ed is taking the situation. He won't even talk to me. He sent an email to the whole group to see if we could access a shared drive. Andrew and I were having problems and he didn't even come and help me. He asked Aaron if he had a problem too. He's such an immature dick that I'm excited that I won't be working with him anymore. No matter how hard I try to be civil with him, he's still rude to me. He thinks he's better than everyone just because he's been there longer but people like him need to wise up. Oh well. I don't care. 2 more weeks and I'm out of there. I'll definitely miss the people I interact with. I'll miss my administrative rights. But hey, I got a huge raise so I'm not complaining. I just hope I'm able to live up to Leif's legend. He set the bar pretty high and I hope I'll be able to catch on fast.

You're So Classy

On Monday, my coworkers and I heard some awful news that there was a death in Ed's family and that he'd be gone for a few days and be back today. Ed is the coworker who always gives me a hard time and thinks he's better then everyone. There was a time where we got into an argument in my cube while I was training the new employees. The tension was so thick, you could probably cut through it with a knife.
Anyways, today I was talking to a coworker and I saw him moving some computers and I decided to see how he was doing. I wanted to send my condolences since I haven't really spoken to him in awhile. I went up to him and asked how he was doing. His response? Nothing. He walked right passed me like I wasn't even there. Whaaat the fuck?! Are you pissed at me that I'm leaving the department? Seriously man, grow up. I know people younger and more mature then you. I am so excited to be leaving my department just to get away from him. I've been spending a week in game development full time and they all welcomed me with open arms. People on the OS side would jokingly give me a hard time for leaving them but they all wish me well. They just give me a hard time because they'll miss me. I am counting down the days till I say peace out and never see him again. Well I'll probably still see him, but at least I don't need to interact with him as much.

A Different Side of You

Last night a few of my friends got together to celebrate Angela graduating with a masters in criminal justice. How many people do you know that has a masters degree by the age of 22? We were all so proud of her except for Angela and it showed at the end of the night. As many of you know, alcohol will reveal many feelings you have built up inside and well, it showed a different side of Angela many of us has never seen before, including me. At the end of the night, she disappeared for awhile and no one knew where she was. We were all hanging out in the parking lot of a karaoke place when all of a sudden she started yelling at Nick, her ex boyfriend and started attacking him. Mike got her to calm down and Kathrina took her aside to talk to her. Mallory and I decided it's time to go home and we were saying our goodbyes. When we got to Kathrina, Angela, and Vivian, Angela started talking nonsense. She kept saying how she failed her dead mother because she cannot make a lot of money with a masters in criminal justice. She kept saying it wasn't fair that she didn't have enough time with her mother when she passed away with cancer when she was in the 6th grade. I really felt bad for her because she's never talked about her mom at all and everyone was getting a glimpse of how she's been feeling in her drunken state. We kept reassuring her that her mother is definitely proud of her. Money does not equal success. But it's hard to convince her when she grew up comfortable and is able to buy anything she wants whenever she wants. I know she will be successful in anything she does, I just hope she realizes it. She deserves to be happy. I just feel that not growing up with a mother, she believes she's not allowed to be happy.

Yea, We Were Talking About You.

Last night Kathrina called me to tell me she wasn't going Aprille's house for her BBQ and I already decided that I wasn't going since my ass and back were hurting from the fall. We were talking about spring flicks this weekend and she told me her friend is coming into town and that I should meet him. She said that he was my type and I said I won't do long distance again. Eric and I were pretty much doing long distance since we only saw each other once a week and looking back, I don't want to do that again. Then I told her how Eric and I broke up. After we hung up, she called me again saying that her friend just texted her saying he was in town already. What a coincidence! It was like his ears were ringing and he knew we were talking about him.

Anyways, after we hung up, I went upstairs to watch a movie and I got a text. I thought it was from her again but I didn't understand the text. Then I looked at who it came from and it all made sense. It was from ERIC. We haven't spoken since we broke up 3 weeks ago. Was his ears ringing too? I was just talking about him with Kathrina too! But anyways, while he was texting me, Mallory called so I didn't get to reply till an hour later. We were talking about Wicked and how he's still behind me. It was weird texting him but I've moved on. As the cliché goes, "there are plenty of men out there", and "I deserve better." I truly do believe I deserve better. I need someone who will make time for me, pick me up, and take care of me. Yea at the time, I felt that he could do all that for me. He just needed some time to get back on schedule after a show, but I was just infatuated by him and ignored the fact that he'll never do those for me. I've woken up and I realized I did all the work and got hurt in the end. So good riddance Eric and maybe one day you'll realize you need to change if you ever want to be happy.

Damn You Blue Skates Girl!

So I was minding my own business at the skating rink when all of a sudden I hear a scream and I got knocked down. I go flying up in the air and I landed flat on my ass. I guess it's a good thing I have some extra baggage in the trunk to cushion my fall. As I am holding my lower back rubbing it to ease the pain, I looked at who knocked me down. The first thing I noticed was the blue wheels on her blue skates. Then I looked up to see this teenage girl trying to apologize to me telling me that it was her friend's fault for letting her go. I tell her I'm ok, but I really am not. I wanted to say, "I'm old! I don't recover as fast as you!" But I just got up and skated on my merrily little way while holding onto my back. Yea I totally did the "old person getting back up while rubbing their back" move. I'll be hurting tonight, tomorrow, and the next day. At least I got some exercise today.

Go Green!

Is it me or is going green too trendy? The government has always been urging people to recycle and conserve energy for as long as I can remember. But ever since celebrities have become aware of the benefits of caring for the Earth and their impact on the lives of their fans, it has become too trendy. Everywhere I turn, there's a commercial or a website about going green. I was watching TLC last night and they were talking about having a channel for the sole purpose of helping everyone go green. It's so trendy that it might be getting out of hand. Yes, I care about the Earth. Yes, I want to have clean air and water but it just seems that people are going too far and are capitalizing on something that we've been doing for years just because a celebrity says to do it. So go ahead and go green if you want, but I'll just stick to my own routine of conserving energy, water, and gas and try to recycle whenever I can. You may call it going green, I call it a routine.

Self Curse

I don't know what it is about me. Maybe I don't knock on wood enough. But whenever I say "I never..." or "I don't...", it actually does happen to me. Take for instance, a few years ago, I was talking to a friend and I said, "I've never gotten a speeding ticket." Low and behold, a few days later, I got pulled over for not only speeding, but for running a red light and no seat belt.

Fast forward to Saturday. I'm working with my mom at the park catering my aunt's college reunion when I decided I want to try and get a tan. If you know me, I can barely get a hint of a tan. But I was outdoors for 5 plus hours so I was bound to get some type of color on this pale colored skin of mines. My aunt suggested I wear sun block because she thought I'll get sun burned since I'm so fair skinned. My response? "I don't get sunburned." Yea, I don't get sunburned my ass. After 5 hours outside, I was red as a lobster. And now my shoulders and my chest are kicking me in the ass for cursing myself. I think this is my second sunburn and the first time doesn't even count. It was just my nose and it wasn't this bad. So from now on, I'm not going to say "I never..." or "I don't..." because there isn't enough wood out there for me to knock on to counteract the curse I put on myself.

A New Future?

Last night my cousin called me saying she was in town since her dad wanted to randomly come to Vegas. I told her that I called her dad a few days ago to see if he could do anything about my application for the county. She told me that he was meeting with Janet, his friend who works for county and that's when we both realized that this random trip to Vegas was because of me! He called me this morning saying that Janet can maybe do something since the position is in the IT department. Hopefully I'll be saying adios to my old job and hola to a new job in county. Pray that I get an interview and I wow them with my charm because we all know that I am not that qualified.

Leaving My Comfort Zone

The one thing I learned from Eric was learning to leave my comfort zone. He made me realize that I wasn't that happy with my current monotonous job and life. I haven't been satisfied for quite some time but I chose to stay only because I'm awaiting a promotion this year. But Eric made me realize that even if I get more money and more responsibilities, I'll still be unsatisfied. So I took the first step into leaving this comfortable life. I applied for a job for the county. I've always wanted a job in the government because of the awesome benefits and the chance for early retirement. Even though I wasn't really qualified, it took a lot for me to actually apply. I even called my uncle to see if he could push my application through or anything to give me a little advantage to my disadvantage qualifications. I really hope I do get this job because I'm ready for a change. New job, new life, and possibly a new man. Well not anytime soon of course, but when I'm ready to let go of Eric.

I Don't Need to Know This

When I told Jill that Eric and I were breaking up, the first thing she said was she was sorry. The second thing she said was, I had a feeling it wouldn't last. Then she goes on to tell me that she and our friends were talking about us at a friend's party that I didn't attend. And they were talking about how they didn't like Eric and that they wish I was still with Andrew. Granted, they just want what's best for me but I really didn't appreciate them judging Eric after one meeting or not even meeting him at all. I don't really appreciate that they bring up Andrew to me. Do they not remember what he put me through? Did they forget how immature he was for going through this 6 month relationship and still not wanting to be exclusive. Granted it was partially my fault for sticking through it, but he didn't have the balls to end it when it was going too far. Why date someone for that long if you really don't have any intentions of being exclusive? I had to step up and save my heart from heartbreak. Now I realize what Eric meant. She didn't have to tell me this even if it's the truth. Even though Eric and I aren't together anymore, I defended him to Jill. I don't think she appreciated me being so defensive with Eric since she never responded to my message of how he and I ended our relationship. I think after my relationship with Eric, I can see how I don't want to go back to my old life. I don't want to hang out with my old friends who still party and drink all the time. Is this me growing up? Well, actually Eric helped me keep my New Year's resolution. Just don't tell him that. I don't want him to get a big head.

Officially Single...Unfortunately

So Sunday night I officially became single. Eric called me around 7pm like I asked him to. He was usually good on his word when it comes to calling.
me: Hey
him: Hey
me: so what's going on?
him: nothing.
me: what's on your mind?
him: nothing
me: no. what's on your mind about us?

And that's when it started. He says he feels like it's not working between us. He says it's only been 3 months and he already feels us growing distant. It's not WE who are growing distant, it's you! You're the one who wont drop the argument. Of course, that's his invitation to bring up Jill again. He says that ever since I told him the truth of how Jill felt the first time she saw him, he couldn't move past that feeling of rejection. And then he accuses me of caring about what people think of me. I tell him I could care less of what people think of me. I know a few people who hate me because of the way I look and act, but it doesn't matter to me. Then he goes on about how I don't know when to drop things. He says that I kept asking him to change his relationship status on myspace. I never told him this because I didn't think of it until we hung up, but the reason why I kept asking him to was because he said he was going to change it and I never saw him follow through on it. And then he says I'm too social for him. He says when I hang out with people, I bring a large group of friends. I told him that the only reason there's a large group of us is because it's usually someone's birthday. I rarely hang out with a large group. I'm usually with a few girlfriends doing a girl's night out. Then he says that he feels like I'm showing him off. What does that mean? He says that the one night I took him out, he felt like I was showing him off. First of all, no I wasn't. I wanted him to meet a few of my friends. And second, they were excited to meet him because we've been dating for a couple of months now and have never seen him. He accused me of forcing him to go when he didn't feel like going. Again, I wanted him to follow through on his promise. He told me he'd go and I think it's important to keep your word. I'm not apologizing for that. I told him that his temper and negativity was what made me realize we weren't good for each other. His little outburst the first day of his job scared me. He was lost yes, but I was helping him with the directions already. He didn't have to keep yelling and cursing about how he knew he was going the wrong way but still continued on with the directions he was given. I told him that I've been reevaluating our relationship since then and that this made it easier for me to end it. Then he goes on saying how he's sorry he hurt me and that maybe if I forgive him we can still be friends. And that maybe we can see each other in two weeks when he's here for the day. I told him maybe. He even suggest that if we're friends by then, we can go camping in the summer. I'd rather go camping with my boyfriend. I told him that the one thing I'll miss was our conversations. We had the best conversations and none of them felt forced. We were able to hold conversations for hours everyday and that's rare to find. And he agreed. And that's when it turned around. We admit we still care for each other. And it would be in our best interest just to end it now so neither one of us gets hurt down the line. We civilly ended our relationship and ended up talking for an hour and a half more as friends. We were even laughing. What type of break up was this?? I told him this was the best break up I've ever had. How can we go from arguing and breaking up to just laughing and possibly seeing this turning into a friendship?

I still miss him. I miss his daily calls. His daily texts. His sweet good night texts. But I know this is for the best. Right now I don't mind his late hours and only seeing him once a week. But I know I'll resent him later. This is for the best and I'll be okay. Maybe not right now, but I know I'll be okay eventually. But who knows, maybe once he's established and settled down, our hearts can meet again. He'll always be a part of me because no one ever forgets their first.

Dun Dun Dun

So I'm still up pretty early. I woke up at 4am today then I went back to sleep only to wake up a little before 7 because I can't sleep anymore. The stress of this relationship is taking a toll on my body. I feel a sore throat coming on. My sleep is being interrupted. I text Eric last night before bed asking if he's off on Sunday and there was response. Today is the day we're supposed to talk about us. I have a feeling he's going to take the immature route and not even call me. I have a feeling he's going to either ignore me till next week, or call me at the last second today. He probably doesn't want to call me so he can hear me cry. To know he's the reason I've been crying all week and loosing sleep.

A part of me just wants us to take a break and maybe pick up where we left off when he comes home in May. But another part of me wants to just break it off because he can never give me what I want in a relationship. I'm not a needy girl who needs to see her boyfriend everyday. But I do want to be acknowledged everyday at least through text. I want to know how his day went even if it's just through a few texts everyday. That's why I was okay with his long hours. He would make time to call or text me. But the one thing he can't give me and I'm sure I'll find in a different guy. Being open minded to do new things. Eric is like an old man. He's set in his ways and is not willing to change. Eric is so negative towards everything that I get frustrated even suggesting something. That's the one thing I wont miss about Eric. His negativity and his short temper. I think ever since his birthday outbursts in LA, I was reevaluating our relationship and I think deep down, I knew it wasn't going to work. His short temper reminds me of my dad and it's what I despise in my dad. When my parents were fighting yesterday, all I could think of was Eric and how if we do go on with this relationship, I'll be like my mother, saying he'll never change and threatening to leave him.

So, hurry up Eric and call me. Let's end this relationship. I've already accepted it and mourned all week for the loss of this relationship. I just want to say that it's not me who is being immature, it's you. You're the one who's not open minded enough to accept other people's opinions and not let it affect you. You're the one who doesn't want to drop it. And you're the one who's using this fight as an excuse to break up with me. You're not as mature as you think you are.

You once told me you feel like you're not supposed to be happy. But I think it's because when you feel a hint of happiness, you take a step back and you intentionally ruin it for yourself. I don't think you want to be happy. I think you want to shelter yourself from happiness because you know you can't stay happy forever and you're afraid you'll get hurt. Everyone has a right to be happy and just because you might get hurt, that feeling of happiness is always worth it. I know you were starting to feel happy. I heard it in your voice when I would talk to you. I saw your face light up from time to time. It's just too bad you ruined something so good between us.

If only I'll be brave enough to tell him all these things without getting choked up. I was never one to talk about my feelings without crying. When Mallory came over on Friday, I was okay until she would ask me how I was feeling and then the water works would come with that simple question. I haven't been this emotional in awhile and I hate it.

What I'll Miss

So my body doesn't realize that I'll be single soon. I've been waking up earlier and earlier each day thinking that Eric will give me my usual morning call. It hurts more and more thinking it's finally over. Tomorrow is supposedly the day we're going to break up. As I'm writing this, I can't believe I'm awake before 7am on a Saturday. Eric usually calls me around 6:30am everyday right before he goes to work, even on the weekends. I'm thankful for my friends who keep trying to comfort me in this time in need. A lot of my friends have never seen my emotional side because I try to hide the pain I feel.

What I'll miss the most is the chemistry and the connection Eric and I had. We were complete opposites and yet we were able to hold a conversation for hours on end everyday. It's hard to find a guy who will talk to you for five minutes, let alone a few hours. He and I would talk about anything and everything. I will miss the Friday nights cuddling and massage sessions. Even though he wasn't the best person who gave massages, his efforts were cute. He was just a big dork at heart and I'll miss that. But I realize more that we were never meant to be. I saw him for who he was and it's definitely not what I want in a boyfriend. The second night he was in LA, he got lost and he called me. He was getting furious because his friend gave him the wrong directions so he kept yelling while he was on the phone with me. He wasn't yelling at me, he was just yelling to express how angry he was that he couldn't get home. You know that saying that women date men who are similar to their fathers. His short temper and his desire to not be social is definitely how my father acts. But his strong worth ethics and his do it yourself attitude is what made me see the qualities I enjoy seeing in my father.

Sometimes I feel that I'm okay with the break up and I'll be fine. Then I'll randomly just cry out of nowhere and realize that I'm still in deep like with him. Some people say he's making this fight about judging people as an excuse to just break up with me. It seems like it but I don't want to taint our relationship. Even though it wasn't a long one, it was definitely one for the books. He made the beginning of 2008 memorable for me and that's how I want to remember it.

We Need to Talk

So I get a text from Eric this morning saying "we need to talk." But not now. On his day off. Why not just get it over with. I know he wants to talk because he wants to break up with me. He tells me that we're in different places. He realized this when I told him that the first time Jill saw him at the party we met, she thought he was a bad boy and didn't like him. He says it was immature of me to tell him that. First of all, he brought it up. Second, what was I supposed to do? Lie? I don't lie to people I care about. I don't want this relationship to end. I care for Eric but it's a two way street and I'll just have to accept it. But I won't end it without a fight. I'm going to tell him how I really feel. If he's going to break up with me because of that, that's not very mature of him. He's not as mature as he makes himself out to be. So we've scheduled a day to talk and most likely break up. It'll be Sunday and I'll be a free girl unfortunately. I really don't want to break up but I must keep my dignity.

What a Coinkydink!

I'm tired of writing blogs about depressing stuff going on in my life. I never realized how hard a long distance relationship was until I became in one. I never realized how hard a relationship was period, until I became in one. But anyways, enough about my depressing sob stories. Just pray that it'll get better for me.

I was listening to the radio and they were talking about strange coincidences that seems to unreal to happen in real life. People called in talking about how they met someone randomly and now they are living happily ever after. People called in talking about how they randomly ran into an old friend in a strange place. My strange coincidence happened while I was in college. I usually went to school early and sat in the hallway outside my class to get some last minute studying. I was minding my own business focusing on my notes when I hear, "Are you Monica?" I look up at this girl who seems to recognize me. I blink a few times trying to rack my brain as to who this person was. Nope, no idea who she was. Then she says, "It's me! Thanh!" The only thing that came through my mouth was, "Oh my God." I haven't seen this girl since junior high and we lost touch. We tried keeping in touch our freshman year of high school but that didn't go so well. We had our own lives already and couldn't hold onto our past. We still talk about that incident when we reminisce about our past. Since Thanh has always been an introvert and a homebody, we always seem to loose touch. But when we do find each other, we are always able to pick up where we left off. The last time I saw her was two years ago, and I'm sure I'll see her one day again. We always seem to find each other.

Not April Fools

So I was going to play an April Fools joke on everyone yesterday and make it a fun day. Instead, April Fools wanted to play the joke on me. Instead of it being funny though, I ended up crying. Last night, Eric and I were just irritating the hell out if each other. It all started with me bringing up a good friend of mine. Awhile back I confessed to him that she hated him the first time she saw him at the party we first met because he looked like a bad boy. She was just being protective of me like a good friend and wanted the best for me. He was taken back by the prejudgment that he instantly said he hated her for that. Well last night was the last straw. We got into an argument of judging people and how he hates it when people prejudge you based on what you look like. Honestly, everyone does it. It's the people who act on their judgment and don't give anyone a chance who are pricks. After some disagreements, I didn't want to talk anymore. I was getting frustrated that he wasn't open minded that I gracefully surrendered my feelings towards prejudgment and said I'll just go to bed. We hung up and a second later he texts me asking if I was mad. Of course I was mad. He insulted my friend based on a prejudgment she made a few months ago in which she had confessed was wrong and has taken a liking to him without meeting him. After a few texts, he has agreed to be open minded and to meet her one day. It just seems that this distance between us is taking a toll on our relationship. He needs to come home soon or else the past two months of hard work will be worthless. I'm willing to fight for it but it's a two way street. I can't fight for two people.

Pressure Cruise

The more you pressure me into going, the more I'll say no. My family decided to go on a cruise to Mexico for the summer and it's such a good price too. I'd go in a heart beat if Jill would come with me but her work wouldn't let her take the time off so I'm not going. Now everyone keeps asking me to just go even though she couldn't come. The truth is, I'd never go with them by myself. I have a love/hate relationship with some of my family members. Don't get me wrong, I love them to death, but some of them I just can't stand. Ever since I can remember, some of my cousins think they can walk all over the younger cousins and belittle them just because they are older. And having to be with them for a whole weekend on a ship does not sound like a fun vacation. I'd rather save up my vacation time so I can go somewhere else with people I enjoy.

Abstinence

I was at the Nellis Air Force base with my family doing some grocery shopping. We entered through the food court and I all of a sudden got hungry. My aunt told me to buy something but I told her I can't eat fast food till Easter. And she said, "oh yea you're practicing abstinence." When she said that I thought she meant I'm practicing sexual abstinence. So I said, "oh no I'm not doing that, I gave up fast food."

Am I Selfish?

So I get the worst news a girl gets from her boyfriend today at 5pm. How can someone go from being extremely happy and excited to extremely sad within hours? Eric texted me saying he might be going to LA for a job and will be leaving on Sunday. Talk about bad timing since tomorrow is our one month anniversary and his birthday is next Thursday. He's been talking to people all day since the news so I have no idea what's going on. He says he's waiting for his boss at ufc to give him word that it's ok to go to LA and work. I know he'll be going to LA because he thinks it's a done deal but deep down I want her to tell him no. Am I being selfish that I want my boyfriend to be poor till his next job in May and stay here with me? I'm already crying and moping around preparing myself for two months of loneliness. But the good news is that our friend who introduced us will be in LA with him so at least he can watch over Eric. It's not that I don't trust him. I trust him completely, but just in case you know? Long distance is tough and I do hope everything works out for the best. I'll miss him so much. I hope 2 months passes by as quickly as the two months I've known him has. For now, you can find me in my room crying or maybe at a bar drinking. Either way I'll be counting down the days I see my boyfriend again.

My Wild Turkey Experience

So it was my friend Shawn's birthday on Saturday and I'd like to know what happened. I thought I was done getting drunk but since my lovely boyfriend was my designated driver and he gave me permission to get drunk, I took full advantage as I also did with him when we got to his place. Shawn's favorite drink is wild turkey even though it's the nastiest drink ever made. Well I guess it's not the nastiest, but it's pretty nasty without a chaser and I'm hardcore like that. I bought him a round to prove to him I can take it. Ever since we've met, he's been trying to get me to drink wild turkey and I kept refusing. Finally I gave in and took a shot with him without a chaser. Then I took 3 more shots of other alcohols and I was finished. I asked Eric to take me to his place so I can crash because I'm wasted. Next thing I know is I'm passed out on his bed and I'm trying to take advantage of my exhausted boyfriend. He was waiting hand and foot on me trying to get me water and making sure I won't oversleep while I'm trying to get him sleep with me. Apparently I'm really horny when I'm drunk and now he keeps teasing me about it. It was a pretty wild night and I'd like to remember more of it.

The V Word

Why does every guy run for their life when they hear a girl is a virgin? It's funny how we criticize grown women who are still virgins and are waiting for the one. Then we lie to ourselves on our wedding day and wear white when we all know that the bride is not a virgin. I had this huge crush on this guy last year and when he finally got the courage to kiss me, it was my birthday. He ended up taking me home because we all know the birthday celebrant has to get plastered on their birthday. Well one thing led to another and we ended up hooking up in his car and when it was time to do the deed, I sobered up and realized I was about to have sex with a guy I barely even know. I told him I didn't want to have sex because I'm a virgin and that was the last I heard of him. Now every time I see him at a party, he looks like he wants to say something to me but all I do is ignore him. He doesn't deserve my attention after the way he treated me.

Seems like history is repeating itself once again for me. Things are starting to heat up between me and Eric. We've been fooling around the past two weeks and I think I'm finally ready to have sex but I don't know how to drop the V bomb on him. From my past experiences, guys get freaked out and run for the door when they hear the word 'virgin'. I finally had the courage to tell Eric that I am indeed a virgin through text because the topic of number of partners came up while I was at work. I had to tell him zero. And I asked if he's turned off by it. His response? "Honestly, a little." Beat me down at my most vulnerable state. Then he says, "Well at least I know now not to put down nice sheets." Wow, what an insensitive thing to say. Even though I really wanted to have sex with him over the weekend, I told him let's wait a month before we have sex. He agreed and I told him that I want him to be more comfortable with the fact that I haven't had sex with anyone. After our conversation he went and took a nap and I called him after work. It's not the same anymore. At first I wish I didn't tell him that I was a virgin but at least now I know how he is. If he dumps me because it's too much to handle then he's not the person I thought he was. I told him in all fairness, I've fooled around with 3 guys. Well 4 including him. But at least I know I'm clean. When he had his whole herpes scare a few weeks ago, I stuck by him but he can't even stick by me for being a virgin and clean? How cruel is that. If he does dump me. Let's hope that he's different from the guys I've dated and accept the fact that I am a virgin. I am still the same person you liked yesterday.

Why Didn't He Call?

I was reading an article on MSN on reasons why even though you had a great date a few nights before, your date still hasn't called. It talked about that just because the guy hasn't called yet doesn't mean he's not that into you. He might have gotten tied up with something so don't worry too much about it. It's easier said then done. Women will always wonder why hasn't he called yet and if we're not good enough. It's in our nature.

When I first met Eric, he used to call me every other day until our second date. He didn't call me for almost 5 days and I got worried that he wasn't into me anymore. I panicked and started asking my guy friends advice based on our second date. That night, he texted me saying he was sorry for not calling lately because he's been working crazy hours and have been tired lately. So I was just overreacting but girls need closure. If a guy is not into me, I'd rather him tell me then leave me hanging. I hate all those 'what ifs' and if I'm told you're not into me, I can just move on faster.

The Unfamiliar

On Saturday my friend Rei celebrated his birthday at Lucille's and the default club for locals, the Lobby Club formally known as Whiskey. Everyone kept asking me if my boyfriend was coming and unfortunately I had to say no because he was working on Saturday. My friends were saying that it was weird asking about my boyfriend because they're not used to me having a boyfriend. I am the same way. I'm not used to saying I have a boyfriend. But Eric and I definitely became more comfortable as a couple and we instantly started acting like a couple.

On Friday, his friend was in town so he hung out with her while I was out with my girlfriends. He called me before meeting with his friend telling me where they were going. I texted him around midnight saying I was already home and he called me at 4 in the morning on his way home from his night. When I found out Rei wanted to go to the club after dinner, I asked Eric if he had a problem I was going to a club. His response? "No. Have fun. Just don't drink too much and no dudes ok?" My response? "I'm cutting back on my drinking already and I only dance with my girlfriends." He responded, "Well then, have fun!" I also texted him when I got home from the club. Funny how fast we were able to transition into being a couple.

Bar Food, Vibrators, and Thongs

Last night was the most random night I've had in a long time. I haven't had a girl's night in awhile so a few of my girl friends met up at a bar to have some happy hour cocktails and food. Everyone was gushing over the fact that I have a boyfriend now. You know how it is when you're in a new relationship. All my friends are really excited that I finally met someone after a couple of years of playing the field. Yea, Vegas men suck. It's hard to find a decent man in this city. Anyways, after everyone asking me questions about my relationship with Eric, my friend Mallory dropped some bad news on us. She broke up with her boyfriend of three years last week. She said he needs to grow up and get his life on track before they can be together. It's understandable. He doesn't have a car, he doesn't have that great of a credit, and he's always relying on her. So after dinner she and i were talking and she said she needs to find a rebound guy to have sex with since she's so used to getting laid everyday. But then she said she didn't want any emotional attachment to a guy so she said she wants to shop around to get a vibrator or a dildo. I've never been to a sex shop before so I was quite amazed as to all the varieties of dildos and vibrators they had. We were there for a good 30 minutes until she just bought one that looked nice and wasn't gigantic. After our little escapades at the sex shop we went to the Forums to do some shopping at Victoria's Secret and left with a bag full of panties. At the end of the night I told Mallory that her idea of me has changed now. Every time I see Mallory she says I have a drink but after last night, every time she sees me, she'll think of the night we bought a vibrator and some sexy panties. Talk about a sexy night but neither one of us got lucky. Well maybe one of us and it wasn't me.

How Gay Are You?

According to the Gay Meter, I'm 33% gay where "I'm a straight-laced girlie girl with just a hint of my butch side sometimes popping out." I told Eric to take it and let me know his results. It might change our relationship. Just kidding.

Myspace Status

Why is it that Myspace has become so mainstream that everything that happens has to revolve around Myspace? So my relationship status changed from being single to being in a relationship on Thursday when Eric asked me to go steady with him. I will forever tease him about that. Who says 'steady' nowadays? But that's what attracted me to him anyways. He's so different from a lot of guys out there. Anyways, I'm getting off track. Ever since he and I became a couple, a lot of my friends keep mentioning I must change my status on Myspace from being 'single' to being 'in a relationship'. I keep telling them that I'll change it eventually but I'd rather tell the important people in my life before changing my status. I don't want people resorting to the internet for updates on my life. I'd rather be the one to tell them about the most exciting news that's going on in my life right now then having them read it through the web. Besides no one has met him yet. For all they know, I probably just made him up right? Don't worry, he's very much real.

Late Night Texts Again.

So wondering how Eric asked me to be his girlfriend? Right after our date last week, we made plans to just watch movies at his house next Friday night (yesterday). He likes to make plans for our next date right when the current date is ending. Anyways, so he texts me on Thursday during work while I was watching Lost.

E: Want to go out go out?
M: What do you got in mind? [I'm thinking he wants to do something besides staying at home and watching movies]
E: No go out
M: What? Im confused lol. U asked me if i want to go out go out as in not stayin in ur house? lol can you clarify im having a blonde moment. lol
E: No date
M: Do i want to go out on a date? lol ask me da question again lol [I'm seriously confused]
E: You want to go steady lol
M: Steady as in....lol [At this point, I know where he's going but I want to mess with him and actually ask me to be his girlfriend]
E: Yea we have been talking for like two months if not thats cool
M: R u tryin to ask me to b ur gf? lol
E: I know i always feel weird saying it initially.
M: I was giving u a hard time lol i know wat steady meant lol i just wanted u to say gf lol but you didnt
E: Why u messin with me lol
M: Its fun and cuz ur cute. lol

He told me Friday morning that he knew what I was trying to get him to say that's why he didn't say 'girlfriend' but I made him say it last night when we were watching Princess Bride. He bought Princess Bride so I can watch it since I've never seen it before. Most guys would just rent it but he said it's a romantic movie and wants to own it so we can watch it more then once. And of course I said yes. :)

Story of My Life

Seems like history likes to repeat itself when it comes to my love life. Right when I finally feel happy, God pushes me off a cliff only to fall back to reality. I feel like I'm never meant to be happy. I really thought for the first time I finally found someone, then I wake up and find myself in the same relationship I was in last year. Don't get me wrong, Eric is an awesome guy. He's an awesome guy dealt with the wrong cards. Today he just told me that there was an outbreak at work and can change our relationship. He told me he found a rash on his arm when he work up today and that a few days ago someone got fired for lying about their health. This guy didn't let anyone know he had herpes and had an outbreak while on the job. One of his coworkers tested positive for it and now he has a feeling he has it too. Thanks a lot God. I was really excited when Eric asked me to be his girlfriend yesterday only to be kicked down today with this news. I pray that it's only a rash and we're overreacting. He was really worried when he was telling me and asked if I would break up with him if it was true he has herpes. I told him don't worry about it. Let's think positive thoughts and hope for the best. Please pray that it's just a rash or something not serious of the sort. I really dig this guy and I really think he will get along with everyone who is dear to my heart.

No Alcohol Please

So today is my first day I can drink now. I finally finished my month long bet with Moises where I can't drink at all and guess what? I didn't even feel like it. My friend Angela thought something was wrong with me when I refused to take shots with her. I took one shot of the lychee sake and even though it was really good, I didn't feel like drinking. So maybe there's hope for me in my new year's resolution of cutting back on the alcohol.

Just Another Day

So today is Valentine's day eh? I didn't even know Valentine's day was coming up that fast until my friend told me yesterday. I told her we'll go to the gym on Thursday and we'll have to work hard since we haven't been in awhile. And her response. "On Valentine's day?? Where's the love?" Ok, we'll take a break this week. Valentine's day is just another day for me. I'm usually single on this 'special' day so I don't really care for it. The past two years, my Valentine was a guy I was currently dating though. I guess since I'm usually single on Valentine's day, I don't really care for it even if I'm seeing someone. I guess I'm just not your typical girl who gets excited on this holiday. Maybe one day a guy will come along and change that. But for now, Happy Valentine's Day I guess.

History Repeaing Itself

It feels like I should be used to it by now. The phone rings and it's a relative looking for my mom delivering some bad news. It was exactly one year ago I was preparing to spend almost a week in California for my grandmother's funeral. I remember crying in my boss' office asking if I could go home early for the rest of the day. About a year and a month ago, we got that dreadful phone call that my grandmother had an accident and our phone was constantly ringing with news from relatives. It was about a year ago where I told Andrew I wouldn't be here for Valentine's Day because I'll be in California burying my grandmother. Today, I feel like I'm experiencing deja vu. Our phone constantly ringing. This time it's my grandma's brother. I was told during work by my aunt who was looking for my mom that he had collapsed and is now in critical condition. I instantly thought of the worst when I heard 'critical condition'. I am trying to be hopeful because I am not ready for another funeral. I'm not ready to go back to California dressed in black. I don't want to sound selfish but I don't want to have to tell Eric that I will not be here to celebrate our first Valentine's together. I feel like February is not my family's best month. It seems like Valentine's day isn't a holiday I should be celebrating. I want to be hopeful but 'critical condition' is just so...critical. And I overheard my aunt talking to my mom that he has a breathing tube to breathe for him and the doctors took 30 minutes trying to revive him. It doesn't look too good for my family. My family all felt that 2007 was the worst year of our lives. We lost the matriarch of the family, five years after we lost the patriarch. A lot of my family members are in the real estate business so a lot of them lost their jobs because of the housing market is in a slump. It seems like 2008 is mirroring 2007. This year is supposed to be a great year. It started off great. And I hope it'll stay like that, even just a little while.

Oh My Aching Ear

Earlier this afternoon I had this shooting pain in my ear. It was as if someone was poking the inside of my ear with a needle. Great. I think I have an ear infection. My aunt was at my house a few hours ago and I asked her what the symptoms were for an ear infection.

Ringing ears or clogged hearing. Check.
Headaches. Check.
Ear pains. Check.
Fever. Nope.

I'm hoping I don't have an ear infection. I'm going to California on Saturday and I don't think the high altitudes will agree with an ear infection. Pray for me.

Late Night Texts

E: Who is gonna be your valentine?
M: Hmm. I'm not sure who my valentine will be. No one yet. :(
E: Will you be mine or you got some other guy in mind?
M: Well there is this other guy lol jk ill b ur valentine ;)
E: You sure i dont want to twist your arm
M: lol im sure :) ur way cuter then the other guy anyways lol
E: lol your not so bad yourself

I'm glad we finally got text on our cell phone plan. It's the only time I get to talk to Eric now that he works graveyard. And talking to him more got him to ask me to be his valentine. I hope this year will be better then last year. Andrew was definitely a disappointment.

This Is Not a Facial, it's More Like a Chestial

I went to a spa last night to get a facial and instead the woman was more focused on my chest and neck area. I think she cleansed the skin on my neck and chest more then my face. Then when it came down to my face, she was doing some extractions that hurt like a mother. She was trying to get some of the white heads near my eyes which left me with some red marks like I had just tried popping a zit. Thanks a lot lady, and I have a date tonight. When she finally focused on my face she slathered on some clay mask on my face. A few minutes later, she was washing my face and was putting on some moisturizer. Then she continued to massage my face but with a tapping motion like she was slapping me with her fingers. If I wanted my face to get hit, I'd get in a fight. And then she started massaging my scalp which left me with extremely tangled hair. I left the spa looking like I had sex hair and I wasn't satisfied. Thank goodness that facial was free. I would not pay that much money for that kind of treatment. The last time I was there, I had the most amazing time. The girl was really sensitive to my skin's needs and knew what it needed. Next time, I'll be asking for Amber when I make my next appointment.

Have a Good Day Baby.

I really like being called baby by women who work at gas stations. I go to the same gas stations every week since I've started working at my current job. I alternate which gas station I visit depending on which is 5 cents cheaper. And each gas station leaves me feeling special and welcomed. I notice that the women who work in gas stations will call everyone baby.
"Hi baby, how can I help you?"
"Can I just have 20 bucks on number 2?"
"Alright. Have a great night baby."

Being called 'baby' by a stranger doesn't have to be creepy sometimes. Only when it's coming from a woman at a gas station. Oh yea, and I love it when my waitress calls me 'sweetie' or 'hunny' but they have to only be older women. I think it's cute when women call strangers using pet names. But of course, if a man calls me that then I'd be creeped out.

6 Years.

It's been six years since my grandpa has passed away and I still think about him from time to time. He was my first experience with death and I took it pretty hard. My family is pretty superstitious and believe that when someone passes, they will visit their loved ones for 40 days. A few days after he passed away, I believe he did visit me. I was in my room studying for an exam with the tv turned on in the background. That's how I study. While I was reading my notes, my tv kept turning off. Every time it turned off, I'd turn it back on. There was nothing on top of the remote to make the tv turn off. I ran out of my room to tell my sister. My sister said it was Papang's (what we call my grandpa) way of saying to focus on studying and to turn of the tv. I quickly turned off my tv and just focused on my notes.

Well, two days ago, I believe he visited me again. I was so exhausted from staying up late talking to Eric that I went to bed around 9:30pm on Thursday. I figured Eric wasn't going to call me since his time changed happened on Thursday and he'd be working graveyard now. Around 12:30am, I get a text message. I turned over and reached for my phone to read the text message. It was Eric greeting me good night. After I finished reading the text message, I looked up near my desk and I saw this figure. It looked like a tall man looking at me. I freaked out and turned my back to the dark figure and I closed my eyes. In my head I kept reciting the line, 'there's no one there, there's no one there.' The next day, I realized it might have been my grandpa looking out for me since it was close to his death anniversary. Or maybe he was approving of Eric. :)

In the Stars

So I added this horoscope application on Facebook awhile back and recently I've never been so amused with my horoscopes. It seems like the stars know that I'm dating someone who has some potential. For the first time, I feel optimistic about this guy. I'm trying to avoid admitting to myself that I'm falling for Eric because I'm scared of getting hurt but everyone seems to notice I am falling for him. Anyways, yesterday my horoscope told me

"You are a classic flirt today and you may have to turn the temperature down a notch or two because you'll be hot hot hot! Your energy is well into overload. You'll be sassy, spontaneous and highly attractive and there will be no better time than today for some extra-curricular recreation."

I'm sassy eh? And I'm looking for some extra curricular recreations. I wonder what those extra curricular recreations are.

And then today I logged onto Facebook to see what is in store for me today.

"Romantic energies are highly erratic and interesting today, but there is a monkey-wrench in the mixture. Keyword is "children". If you are a parent and have an amorous moment this evening, lock the door. If you are not a parent and don't want to become one, play safely!"

At least Facebook doesn't mind that everyone doesn't practice abstinence anymore and encourages safe sex. Too bad Eric is working tonight. Can I reuse a horoscope for a different day?

Bad Timing for Us

So at my friend's hotel party on the first Friday of the year, I met this guy. We instantly clicked. My friend thought we were dating at least two weeks when she saw us together. I felt that this guy was probably going to be the first guy to be different from the rest. He is really cute, funny, sweet, and he gives me his undivided attention. But I guess the dating gods like to play tricks on me. Even though I may be jumping the gun and I'm probably just overreacting but I think this weekend will probably be the last time I see Eric. Last night, Eric told me that his work shift is going to change sooner. His shift is 6pm-6am six days a week where my work shift is 8am-5pm. This will be his shift till the UFC season is over in the end of March. How cruel is that. I'm so used to talking to him for a few hours almost every night since we've met. I just wish we met after the season is over or maybe a month earlier. This weekend will be our second official date but it feels like we've been together for at least a month. But you'll never know. It'll be like a long distance relationship. If we really do like each other that much, we'll make it work. Just pray that it does work out. I'm really happy for the first time. Well except now cuz now I'm worried something will ruin my happiness after I waited so long.

Your Ami

I was watching America's Funniest Home Videos and I saw the cutest video ever. This little girl that's around 4 or 5 years old was on a beach and her dad was asking her where she was.
Dad: Sweetie, tell everyone where we are.
Girl: We're in your...ami.
Dad: No, the word is 'Miami'.
Girl: Yeah, we're in your...am..ami.
Dad: Nooo. Ok. We're in your ami.
Girl: Oh ok. We're in Mine ami.

I could just eat her up. It was the cutest thing ever. It makes me want to go to your ami for some sun.

GHETTO

So last night my friend Angela threw a suite party at Mandalay Bay. Oh man, this suite was like a condo. It was huge! The alcohol flowing. The music bumping. Seeing everyone you haven't seen in awhile. It was a great party until security came knocking at the door. Apparently there was about 27 complaints that we were too loud. After everyone left, Angela saw that some people stole things from the mini bar. Talk about ghetto with a capital G. There was so much alcohol in the bar and people stole the mini alcohol. So not only did Angela pay for the alcohol, room, and food, but she now has to pay for the overpriced alcohol someone stole. It's so hard to trust people these days.

My Plan For 2008

It's only been two days into the new year and my plan for this year is to survive. I want to be able to see 2009. Two days into this new year, I've had about four really close car accidents. But with my quick reflexes I was able to avoid them. There are so many stupid drivers out there, including me. So far I was able to avoid the following car accidents.

- January 1st, 3am. Driving home with a friend of mine talking about where to make a quick food run before getting home. As I am approaching the intersection with a green light ahead, I see at the corner of my eyes a car whose light is clearly red will not slow down. He was surely going at least 45mph and was probably too drunk to notice the red light.
- January 1st, 3:15am. Still driving home while talking to my friend about the car who just drove through a red light and looking for Jack in the Crack [Box]. Distracted I drive through a red light. So maybe the previous driver wasn't really drunk and was doing a food run as well.
- January 2nd, 5:30pm. Driving home from work, I switch lanes to the far left while a car in the outer right turning lane decides to switch to the same lane. I'm swerving between both lanes trying to gain control of my car since I was going about 40 mph.
- January 2nd, 6:30pm. Driving on the freeway to Henderson to a casino for diner. On the far left lane when the car next to me decides he doesn't want to exit and goes straight trying to get into my lane causing me to quickly break to avoid him.

I sure hope that 2008 isn't my year for a car accident. I've never been in a car accident and I sure don't want it to be anytime soon. Pray that I survive 2008 guys!

And Who's House is This?

My dad's friend from the Philippines stayed at my house last year because her sons wanted to find a better job in America then they can get in the Philippines. At first I didn't mind because I'm sure they would do the same thing for us if we visit the Philippines. But just because you stay in our house for a month doesn't mean it's actually your house. A few weeks ago, they came back and stayed in my house again. The last time they were here, her sons weren't successful at finding a job and ran out of time. Their temporary visa expired and they were sent back to the Philippines. So the woman, one of her sons, and a friend from California came to stay at my house for a couple of days. The moment Vickie stepped in my house, she pretty much felt at home. She was going through our cabinets and made herself coffee. She was making herself food and left a lot of mess for us to clean up. One day, my cousin came over real quick to drop something off and she offered him hopia that my mom made and always gave away every Christmas. The way she offered it appeared as if she was the one who made them. After three days, I think my mom got so irritated that my dad took them to our other house to stay at.

I think the icing on the cake was when Vickie's friend Evelyn thought she could do the same thing and act as if she lived in our house. We just met the woman a few weeks ago when Vickie came back to Las Vegas. A couple of days ago, Evelyn and Vickie came over and were talking downstairs with my mom while my mom was making dinner. When all of a sudden Evelyn gets up and goes upstairs without asking my mom. My mom didn't even know she was going upstairs until Vickie asked where she was going. Evelyn's response. 'I'm going upstairs to use the internet. I want to check my tickets online.' My mom was shocked to hear this woman whom we barely even know is going upstairs without asking permission. My mom wanted to slap her. But my mother is a classy woman and would never do such a thing but I can't say the same thing for myself. When I heard she didn't even ask my mom if she could come upstairs made me furious. Who does that? These people need to learn some respect for other people's homes.

Same Resolution As Always

So it's that time of year when everyone prepares to make their typical New Year's resolution. You know, the 'I'll get fit', the 'I'll stop smoking', etc types of resolutions. Well my resolution is pretty much the same thing. I believe 2008 will be a great year. I definitely learned a lot about myself in 2007. I've been through a roller coaster of emotions and I think I've grown up a bit this year. So my New Year's resolution for 2008 is:

- Get fit & healthy. I always say I'm going on a diet, but this year, I'm not calling it a diet. I will be getting healthy.
- Fix skin. I haven't had clear skin since puberty and I'm tired of it. Lots of people still have acne after their teen years but my skin seems to be more severe then others. I'm tired of touching up my pictures but the positive part is I'm getting better at photoshop. I'm going to a dermatologist or maybe a medspa to get it cleared. I just hope it works.
- Find love. I want to prove that there are decent guys out there in Las Vegas. I don't want some random hook up. I don't want to date around. I want just one guy out there to prove to me he's not like any other guy in Las Vegas. I think I'll try and give most guys a chance this year instead of being so picky.
- Travel. I want to at least travel out of the country once this coming year. Even if it's Mexico. I learned that a vacation really does wonders.
- Love my job. I want to be able to love my job even if it's not my current job. If an opportunity knocks at my door, I will consider it instead of saying yes then backing out. I did that a lot this year and I'm sure I missed out on a lot of great opportunities.
- Less drinking. Okay, maybe this one will be harder especially when a lot of my friends strongly disagree on this topic. I think instead I'll say, I'll drink less then I usually do when I do drink. Instead of drinking 5 shots, I'll drink 3 shots. This will help my liver too.
- Private life. I've been known to never being able to keep things a secret either if it's my personal life or other lives. If there's drama in my life, I tell everyone. So here's to keeping my mouth shut in 2008. I don't need to tell everyone about my personal life. Only the selected few.

I'll let you know next New Year if I succeeded in any of these resolutions. I'll see you next year!

Not Our Typical Christmas

So this year was the first Christmas without my grandparents and is officially the first year we broke our Christmas tradition. Ever since I could remember, my whole family on my mom's side would spend Christmas together under one roof. And it takes a big roof to house us too. My mom had nine brothers and sisters and each sibling has at least two children. So you do the math. Christmas was never quiet. Even though we all weren't together this year, it was still a loud Christmas. While 90% of my family members were in California celebrating Christmas, the few that were left behind in Las Vegas came over to my house. And if you know my family, the holiday was spent gambling, eating, and singing. It would have included alcohol but the majority of the people at my house were under aged. Instead my cousin brought over a bingo game and we gambled instead. I even walked away with five bucks. Everyone had a singing contest to see who could get the highest point on the magic mic. You are not Filipino if you don't have a magic mic. But the best part was watching my godson Angelo open up his presents. I bought him this K'nex building set and he was so excited that he opened it up right away. The cutest part was that while he was building away with his hands, his foot was holding the manual open. My godson is only six years old and he was able to build all sorts of stuff.

Not So Subtle

My friends and I concluded our party hopping night at Griffins which is a local bar in downtown. Everyone was in the back of the bar sitting and socializing with the birthday girl and her graduate boyfriend. My friends and I wanted to hang out by the bar for easy access to the alcohol. As you can tell my friends and I love our alcohol. We have to be near it at all times. But anyways, seven girls near the bar can sure attract some attention. This drunk guy came stumbling towards our group and started talking to us.

Kathrina: Hey what's your name?
Drunk guy: My name is Robert. Yours?
Kathrina: [points at me] Her name is Monica. [grabs our friend Angela] Ok, we have to go.
Me: Ohhh my gaaawwd.
Drunk guy: Why did she do that? Does she think I'm cute?
Me: She wants me to get some action.

At the end of the night, Angela ended up hanging out with Robert more then me and I ended up hanging out with Robert's friend Nick. And none of us got any action which is okay with me because I'm not like that. I wait till the second meeting for some action. I'm just kidding!

He Looks Gay With His White Buttons Anyways.

So my sister and I were baking gingerbread men when we couldn't figure out how to store them. Their frostings haven't dried yet so we decided to just lay them in a tupperware. We had one more man left and couldn't find a place where to put him. We called this lone man Afro man because he was the only one we made with an afro. We don't discriminate here man. There was only one place to put Afro man. On top of another man. And my sister yelled out, 'No not Afro man! He's not gay! Here take him. He looks gay with his white buttons anyways.' Oh my God. I thought I was going to die laughing. I was on the floor laughing. Ladies and gentlemen....here is the lovely couple hiding in the corner.

Flip Cup

Drinking games suck! They are so fun but in the end, you will lose. Last night a friend of Kathrina's was throwing a house party and she said that it will be a little reunion for us. So we decided to go to the party. A lot of the people there were at a Halloween party we went to back in October. I didn't remember a lot of their names so I ended up just calling them by what their costumes were. After reintroducing ourselves, the fun began when someone mentioned flip cup. Flip cup is the best game ever! But you get wasted so fast. Everyone was using beer for the game and since I hate beer, one of the guys I met before made me a Pepsi and vodka concoction. About 4 games in, I ran out of alcohol so he gave me orange juice and vodka. By game 7, everyone was buzzed and I was feeling good. And of course my team won. But don't you just hate when alcohol just creeps up on you and you suddenly get really drunk really fast? Well that's what happened to me and Kathrina had to help me in the bathroom while I threw up. Not once, but multiple times. And I think by the fourth time, I asked her if we could leave. Since she was the driver, we ended up at her house and I passed out on her bed for two hours. And now I have this lingering headache that's a reminder of last night's festivities. This is the price I pay for having people make me my drinks without me watching them. I don't know how much alcohol was in those drinks but it must have been a lot because just last week I was playing king's cup and I had a lot of vodka without any consequences. Whoever invented drinking games, I hate you! Okay, I'm just kidding. Maybe.

I met this guy last night who was able to finish the rubik's cube in mere minutes! I was really amazed or maybe I was just really drunk that it looked cool at the time.

What Do You Really Want To Do?

Is there really anyone out there who really loves their job? I mean, really LOVE their job. My friend Apple and I had a conversation about careers and school and why we're in situations where we're not happy. She's currently going to school majoring in Biology but doesn't really want to go into the medical field. I finished college with a degree in computer science and don't see myself working in this industry for the rest of my life. So then I told her my dream was to go back to school, preferably culinary school. My dream is to be a pastry chef and make all these creations you can only imagine. The foodnetwork is constantly playing in my room while I mentally take notes on the various techniques the chefs show us. I told my parents my dream of being a pastry chef and they just ignored it and convinced me to just finish school with a degree. Apple understood why I finished school with a degree I didn't want to have. Growing up in a traditional Filipino family, school is very important and you need to finish with a practical degree. That's why she's finishing school in Biology with her dream on the back burner. I wonder how many people give up their dreams for the practical route. One day I'll definitely go back. I'm thinking fall semester I'll take a class or two. It'll also be nice to meet new people. Working in an office isn't meant for me. I need interaction with people, not email. One day. I hope.

Estimated Completion Date

What is your definition of estimated completed date? Do you think January 2008 is a good estimated completion date? Apparently it's not. The jackass coworker gave me a lecture in front of everyone with his high almighty voice that it's too open ended. But that's what estimated completed date is. It's suppose to be open ended to allow flexibility. Whatever. Someone has a stick up their ass. I'm pretty much ready to just throw in the towel and call it a good run. On my way home last night, I was preparing a 2 weeks notice speech for my boss. I'm tired of him. I've put up with his crap for a year and a half now and I'm not getting paid enough to deal with his attitude. I've tried to stay out of his way. Tried being nice. But after his little fit today, I was ready to go off at him. He has more mood swings then a girl on pms. I need to update my resume asap.

I Wasn't an English Major

If you've been reading my blog, you can tell English wasn't my best subject. You know that saying. You're either an English or a Math person but not both. Well I'm a math person. I understand numbers. I enjoy formulas. That's why I became a Computer Science major. More math, less English. I was always docked for not fully commenting my programs even though they worked perfect. Since I was the newest employee at the time, my boss decided I should be in charge of documentation. I know! My worst nightmare! I have to make sure that all our documents are up to date with the latest procedures. Since the addition of the newest members, I've delegated some of the documents to them but not all.

Today, I asked my coworker if he could review something before I assign it to a manager because I know my wording wasn't that effective as to what I was trying to say. And his response was to just take responsibility and accept the consequences if it's incorrect. Talk about team player. And then he had to bring up the subject of my documentations. I thought my documents were well organized and very professional. I made them less wordy because no matter how professional you are, no one wants to read a 50 page document when it can be done in 20 pages. Is it my choice in words? Just because I don't have a big vocabulary doesn't mean that my documents should be called less then acceptable. I'm sorry that I wasn't as well educated as you. Oh wait, you didn't even graduate with a degree! This jackass coworker always seems to find something wrong with the way I do around here. It's because of him, I know I will not be here forever. I would love to find a job where everyone is willing to help. My other coworker is the busiest person in our department and he is always willing to help out. I've always been told our department works as a team by my jackass coworker, but leaving me high and dry to fend for myself doesn't show teamwork. If you're going to play like that, then game on!

I'm Trapped!

At work, in order to leave, you have to push the exit button and push the door open. So on my way out, I pushed the exit button and pushed the door. It didn't open. I figured I didn't push the button all the way so I pushed the button again. Nope. I'm still stuck inside. Craaaaap. So I tried the button again and this time I pushed the freaking button harder and the door even harder. Nooope. I'm shaking the door and in my head I'm yelling, "let me out of here! I don't want to be stuck in hell!" Good thing someone was killing their lungs outside. They scanned their card on the scanner and the door unlocked. Thank God Almighty! I'm free! You can lock me out of the office but please don't lock me in the office.

Google Is Hiring

Every time I open my gmail account to check my email, there's always an announcement that Google is hiring. Right now, I'm pretty content with my job. It's not really exciting, but is there really a job where you look forward to going to work? I like my coworkers and the job isn't too difficult. But of course I'm searching for that one job where I look forward to Mondays. Where I can say I want to hang out with coworkers outside of work. No offense to my coworkers, but they are out of my age range. It's really hard to find something in common with them. I want to be able give a more interesting answer then 'eh' when someone asks me 'how's work?'

So I went to their website to check out the type of job that's available. 30 minutes later, I want to work at Google. I've heard so much about how Google is currently the best company to work for. How Google really takes care of their employees, but is it really true? Do you get all these benefits because you work long hours? I wonder how many hours they work in a week. And the food! Everyone knows I love food. But Google takes it to a whole new level. They offer free gourmet food. FREE!! Oh man. If I worked there, I would never have to learn how to cook. I'm just kidding. But seriously, when I hear free food, I get excited.

So am I going to send in my resume and apply for a job? Probably not. I'm at a point in my life where I'm not ready to drop everything I'm familiar with and leave. I want to be able to afford a good life if I leave Las Vegas. So for now, I'm stuck at my job. Maybe in a year after I've saved up all my money, I'll apply at Google. For now, I'll just have to daydream about the free gourmet food. Maybe one day I'll end up at Google.

I Might Really Be Addicted

Okay, so I think I really am addicted to Vick's vapor rub. Since I've been sick the past few days, I've been bringing Vick's to work. I'd take a good whiff of that bottle to rejuvenate my nasal passages. Aaahhhhh! That's what it feels like when I inhale that stuff. Well I'm completely devastated that I left the bottle on my desk at work. I was even tempted to buy another bottle but I glanced at my fuel gauge and it's either that menthol scent or work. And believe me, it was a tough choice. I almost did go to the store but I decided that I still have nyquil at home. Once shot of that and I'll be knocked out for the rest of the night.

It's That Time Again

Sore throat, runny nose, coughing, and the fever. You know. The symptoms of the winter cold. Or just an excuse for me to get addicted to cough drops and Vick's vapor rub. I love inhaling Vick's vapor rub when I feel congested. It sucks that I can actually pinpoint the exact time I got sick. It was yesterday. Such a nice day. I was feeling great then all of a sudden at 12:30 pm my throat felt scratchy. Then I felt a sudden chill. Oh crap, I'm getting sick. I had Tylenol in my purse so I quickly took a dose but the chills did not go away. I drank some hot chocolate. Still feeling cold. That's when I knew it was going to be a long day. On my way home I picked up some Nyquil to help me sleep. I did not know that I needed to be 18 to buy medication! I guess it makes sense since the bottle indicated that Nyquil had 10% alcohol. I actually do take my Nyquil like alcohol, chase it with some juice. Ah, the start of the winter season.

You Know...

Your family is full of alcoholics when at Thanksgiving you test each other on the ingredients in various cocktails. Yeah we tested each other just to see if we could stump each other. We always look forward to get togethers so we can just sit back and have a few drinks. My family loves playing drinking games. One Thanksgiving, we were in the backyard playing BS and if you got caught telling a lie, you gotta take a shot of hennessey or jack. After a couple of lies you'll be goooone! Ok, maybe my family likes to drink a little too much, but it seems like that's what our generation is known for...drinking. At least we'll all be in AA together one day.

Chocolate in Candy Form Please

My nephew's birthday was on Thanksgiving and they had chocolate cake. Everyone was eating the cake and admitting how much they love chocolate cake. My cousin handed me a piece of chocolate cake and I politely refused the slice because I had to admit it. I don't like chocolate cake. Everyone was shocked as if I committed a sin. Don't get me wrong, I love chocolate. Chocolates are my weakness. But I'll only break my diet at the sight of chocolates when it comes in candy form. Please don't hate me when I confess that I don't like brownies, chocolate cake, and even chocolate ice cream. What's funny is that I will not have a chocolate shake if it has chocolate ice cream but I'll have a chocolate shake if it has vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup. And I can taste the difference. I know it sounds weird but that's how I like my chocolate.

Thanksgiving Rules

Thanksgiving to me means to be surrounded with family and lots of great food. It's rare to have my whole family together nowadays because we're all busy now but Thanksgiving is one of the holidays where my whole family is under one roof. Over the years, we've established some unwritten rules that we live by in my family during Thanksgiving.

1. Survival of the fastest. It's tradition that everyone brings at least one dish and once that dish is set on the table, you better get a portion of it as fast as you can. You blink and it might be gone.

2. Once you find a seat (which is rare), you better not stand up. Your seat will be occupied once you stand up. So I'm thankful for my cousin's boyfriend for standing up so I can steal his chair since my cousin stole my chair.

3. We start the Thanksgiving at noon and eat all day until the food is all gone.

4. Even as adults, the saying 'finders keepers, losers weepers' still goes. If you pack food to take home later, you better hide the food. It doesn't matter if it has your name on it. If someone finds it and likes it, they will eat it.

These rules may sound crazy to you but that's what I love about my family. We take food serious and we love to eat.

What I'm Not Thankful For

I know I should be thankful for everything but what I am not thankful for is the fact that I have to work late on Wednesday while everyone in the company gets to leave early. Granted my coworker stayed behind as well, but I just found out that I could have left early if the damn managers took some responsibility and fixed this OS 6 days ago when the fix was available. Instead, they waited until the last minute as usual to release it to me and of course there were issues. Issues that could have been prevented if they took someone's advice and fixed it. Their excuse to not fixing it earlier was because they weren't sure if this fix will break something else. Well at least they would have had 6 extra days to find another fix if the OS broke instead of making me stay behind the day before a holiday. It sucks how I have to suffer for someone's irresponsibility. I definitely need a vacation after this. I'm leaving early on Monday just to make up for my time tonight. I hate being salaried.

Life Doesn't Slow Down For Anyone

Wow! I can't believe Thanksgiving is coming up in a matter of a few days. Life sure doesn't slow down for anyone. You blink and you can be left behind. I can still remember the beginning of this year like it was yesterday. Next thing I know, it'll be New Years and I'll be ringing 2008 the same way I rang it every New Years eve. I remember when I was young, I couldn't wait till I was an adult. Now that I am an adult, all I want in life is to slow down. I'm really tempted to quit my job and travel around the world for a year. Am I having a quarter life crisis? If only I was brave enough to just pick up and leave. I think just the idea of quitting my job requires more bravery then picking up and leaving. My goal in 2008 is to at least travel somewhere, anywhere. I hear Europe is calling me for the summer. We shall see...

This is Just a Taste

So Town Square just opened up near the airport on Wednesday and I was really excited to check it out. They've been working on the project for some time now and it's near my work so I see the construction workers building stuff all the time. Wednesday morning, my friend leaves me a comment on myspace asking me if I want to check it out. I wasn't prepared to go shopping but I suggested we go during my lunch break. The best part of being salaried is that no one watches your every move. It's so relaxed. So it's 11:45am and Kathrina picks me up and we head off to Town Square. We were pretty much just walking aimlessly and taking random pictures. This has got to be the best lunch break I've had in a long time. Random shopping trips are the best especially when the weather is nice and you have great company. The moment we walked into H&M, I fell in love with the store. I couldn't buy anything since I had to go back to work, but as Kathrina said, "this is just a taste of H&M. We will definitely go back and do some damage." I did go back later that night and did some damage to my credit card in H&M. I guess so much damage that my credit card company called me the next day to make sure it was me who actually charged the clothes to the credit card. Glad to know that my credit card company monitors all the charges.

We Won How Much?

When my friends and I first turned 21, we would always go to this ghetto bar for their cheap drinks. Even thought it was ghetto and creepy guys always hit on us, we kept on coming back. What better way to celebrate a reunion then to drink up at Ellis Island Casino. After lots of shots, we all headed to Tangerine for some drunk dancing. My friends Aprille, Julia, and I were tired so we decided to wait for the rest of our group in the casino so we can rest our feet by sitting at a Wheel of Fortune slot machine. We were minding our own business by gossiping and taking pictures with one another when some random guy came up to us and asked what we were doing. We thought he was trying to hit on us, so we said we were doing nothing and continued on with our conversations. He then said, "do something useful, here's $8. Go gamble." So Aprille told me to put in 5 bucks while she was pushing the buttons. Being drunk, we didn't know what we were doing. Aprille decides to see how much 'max bet' was by pushing it. We realized that it's 4 bucks down the drain. Or so we thought. We watch the screen light up 'bonus, bonus, bonus' and in the center of all the machines was a gigantic wheel that started spinning.

Aprille: Holy crap we are spinning the wheel!
all: Wow! x400! What's x400 come out to with 5 cents?
Me: 20 bucks?
all: Yay we won 20 bucks!

The screen showed otherwise. It showed that we won 100 dollars!

all: Holy shit! We f*ckin' won 100 bucks! Quick cash out!

As we're taking pictures of our $100 ticket, the guy who gave us the money walked over and asked us if we won anything. Aprille being the sly one takes the ticket and hides it while I being the quick thinking one said, 'Oh, we're just putting in the 3 bucks right now.' I'm sure he heard us say we won since the three of us were loud, drunk, and 100 dollars richer. As we showed him we lost the 3 bucks, we left him to find a cashier to cash the ticket.

How Much Did I Spend?!

So a few days ago my friend Angela asked me how much I spend on a monthly basis every month. My response. 'I have no idea and I don't want to know!' I seriously didn't want to know because I know I spend a lot more then I want to. I try to keep a budget but everyone knows budgets are made to be broken. I like to call it my flexible budget. Anyways, for the month of October, she spent over a grand, which was shocking because we didn't even see each other at all. So our conversation got me curious as to how much I spent almost 800 bucks on food and entertainment. Just to let you know, I still live at home with my parents so I don't even pay rent. 800 bucks isn't that much. It's when I saw the month of June. June was pretty much an evil month. I spent almost six grand! I paid off my car around that month but it was only three grand. Not sure where the other two grand went! It freaked me out. I need to start keeping track of my money. This just makes me more stressed then I really am. Great. Thanks Angela!

In other news, I can't wait till Thanksgiving. It will be nice to see the family together for the first time since my grandmother passed away. It'll be different this year but at least we're still a close-knit family.

Reply ASAP Please.

Not sure why I'm feeling like this but for some reason I've been feeling anxious lately. Or maybe a little bit stressed. Or is it annoyed? I'm not sure, it might be a mixture of all those age-increasing moods. When a developer sends an email request to release their product and it sits in our inbox for more then 10 minutes, something inside of me wants to yell out at the newbies to wake up and reply to the damn email. I'm not sure if they just stare at the email for a few minutes but it bugs the crap out of me! I'm so used to replying within a minute that when it sits longer then that I'm fighting the urge to reply to the email myself. Come to think of it, I might be having one of those monthly moods because who really feels this way with emails? It might be a deeper issue maybe I'll save that later with an appropriate title so my one reader can just skip over that post. For now, I'll leave it at this. When you see an email and you're not busy, reply to it! Please! Save me from insanity and maybe having high blood pressure.

Almost Hitting a Kid

Am I old or are kids these days have a different perspective of what's fun? Earlier tonight, I was driving in the parking lot of a casino looking for a parking spot when two teenagers purposely ran right in front of my car for amusement. I was freaking out because I almost hit them, but they were joking with one another that they almost got hit by a car. Their other friends caught up with them and they were yelling out loud about how this wasn't the first time they almost got hit by a car. It seems that kids nowadays think they're untouchable and won't get hurt. Or maybe they think that since they are on the receiving end of the accident, they'll get compensated for their injuries and be set for life. Whatever, maybe one day they'll learn their lesson that life is too short to be putting their lives in danger.

Tweek Ow Tweet

It's so cute when little kids can't pronounce their r's especially when they're saying 'trick or treat' with a huge smile.